We all hear about it. Some whisper about it. Some shout from the rooftops, claiming they’ve got it. Some wonder why they can’t find it. Others break down and seek solace in the drink, while looking for it. Then there are the worst offenders – the ones that not just shout from the rooftops, but weave it into every conversation, as if it is the most realistic, truest thing in the world and you are just the worst, most unorganized person for not having it. They, dear friends, are liars.
What is it?
The newest Marc Jacobs bag?
The tooth fairy?
Mais non, sweet kittens….it is BALANCE. LIFE BALANCE after having a kid.
Guess what. You’ll hear it here first. Deal with it, suckers.
IT DOESN’T EXIST.
If you are a new mamma, an expectant mamma, an old timer mamma, a “do I even want to bother dealing but thinking about it” woman – just deal with it. Internalize it now. Balance as you once knew it – not gonna happen.
“But what about my gym time and my great body?”
“But what about my weekly manicures?”
“But what about my career and all my work travel, I’ve worked so hard for it?”
It’s not about you anymore.
Another thing you need to just deal with.
But don’t fret, sweet cherubs, all is not lost.
It just requires give and take, compromise and a willingness to accept that your life is now different. And sadly, so is your body. (Especially your boobies.)
But back to give and take and compromise. Do not be a martyr. Then no one will feel sorry for you. All the give and take and compromise – does not rest solely on your shoulders. It is the job requirement of BOTH PARENTS, last time I checked, to be actively involved in their child’s life, to compromise their lifestyles, and to give up some extracurricular activities, be they manicures, gym time, or happy hour.
Kitty time does not believe all is lost. You just do these things less frequently or at times that used to seem very undesirable. Example – early morning is a great time for a workout. It wakes you up, it reduces under eye puffiness, and gives you some quiet time to just enjoy to yourself while everyone else rests.
But back to this whole give and take thing – kitty time firmly believes that while women should not be martyrs and take on all these responsibilities of juggling and compromise themselves, you must also be realistic. Your partner might not clue in as quickly as you, and like anything, it takes a lot of work and commitment to train the male husband to learn how to take initiative, do the laundry without asking, decline a happy hour invitation without being told too, or purchase milk on his way home from work without being asked to.
But with perseverance, a lot of patience and a willingness to do things differently than you did before – you can hold onto pieces of yourself from before – and still enjoy life, even if a little off balance.