By now, we all are quite familiar with the online dictionary, Wikipedia. It’s quite ingenious in its format and what’s more delightful than being able to edit the definition of a word? We all love to weigh in and redefine how we see things, what we think the real definition is. It’s genius, really. And just admit it – every single one of you LOVES to chime in on what something means. After all, you wouldn’t be a kitty-time fan if you didn’t have opinions of your own to spread around like wildfire!

So imagine my delight when I read a column posted in the online-mag Slate today. It’s called “Wiki-Parenting.”

And it is a brilliant and creative dissertation on what Kitty-Time likes to call “Group Parenting.”

Ahh yes….group parenting. If you have a child, you are all-too familiar with this concept. If you don’t have a child, then you probably naively fall into that category of believing that this won’t happen to you and having a family member be your full-time nanny is a dream come true.

Gather round, kittens, if you believe that to be true, I’ll tell you another.

For those of you who know what I’m talking about, read on for some humor.

Group Parenting, or Wiki-Parenting, is something we all have done and have experienced. Also admit that one. You’re just as guilty as moi. C’est vrai!

Group Parenting is the most overwhelming when you are a new parent and you are totally clueless. You really have no idea what you are doing and you are just faking it and not sure if you’re going to make it. In fact, secretly, in the wee hours of the morning, in a dark cavernous corner of your house, you are looking up the return policy for this little child that’s just entered your life. Did it REALLY come out of you, you wonder?

And so, to add to your hormonal roller coaster and sleep deprived mind, comes the confusing entry of Group Wiki-Parenting. You say one thing, someone else says another. And then, someone else adds in something else. And before you know it, you don’t know up from down, let alone right from wrong.

Does Junior need a new diaper? Is it wet? It’s wet but maybe he doesn’t need it changed? It’s not wet but maybe he does need it changed? He’s crying because he’s hungry? What’s that you say, he’s crying because he’s not hungry? OK, but maybe he’s overtired? what’s that? He’s not overtired he’s hungry?
Or wait, what? He’s crying because he’s not wet but he’s still wants his diaper changed?
No no…shouts another..he’s crying because he woke up too early from his nap and needs to go back down!
No no….he’s crying because he woke up early from his nap because his diaper is wet AND he’s hungry.

Ahhh…yes….group parenting at its finest. It’s super. You’ll love it. And don’t forget, most offenders state the “obvious” solution with the utmost authority. There is no doubt lingering in their tone, therefore, well, they must be right, right?

The most egregious offenders are those without children. What the hell do they know?

Guess what?

NOTHING.

But sometimes, they can be right. Because sometimes, you are so flippin tired, that a dog on the street knows more than you.

And yet, it seems that group parenting, it never ends.

And just when you vow to never do it to someone else, you hear those words coming out of your mouth. It’s like an out of body experience.
Did you really just add into the ring of group parenting? You really just joined the mob? You just became THAT person? How hideous. Mon Dieu!

So, for a good read for those of you who know exactly what I am speaking of, check out this column: http://www.slate.com/id/2158216?nav=wp

And for those expecting parents out there, trust moi. Group Wiki-Parenting….is an equal opportunity offender. Not one of you will come away unscathed.

Ahhh….how things have changed in our nation’s capitol. How sweet and magnifique for some. How dark and depressing for others. But wait – not so fast…not so dark and depressing for all.

C’est vrai. Tonight is the State of the Union. Kitty-time will likely cozy up on the couch and check up on the DVR’d shows. I hear this afternoon’s Oprah will feature the Stay-At-Home Mom’s vs. the Working Mom’s…..how positive and helpful of you, Oprah. I’ll be sure to tune in later.

But back to the highs and lows…..the sweet and the bitter……

New Washington Post/ABC poll numbers show the president’s approval rating is at an all time low. How wonderful. How wonderful that my fellow Americans are FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION.

Mon Dieu. It’s only taken SIX LONG AND MISERABLE YEARS.

The best part is that 71% of the country believes the President is seriously on the wrong track. Not just “off track” but “seriously” off track. That is fantastic.

Even the most brilliant of conservative republican “historians” can’t rewrite the ending to this president’s history. Mais non. It’s low and miserable and just plain terrible. He is probably the worst President, tied with Nixon, if not even worse, and there’s no rewriting this one, suckers.

And yet. Somehow. He’s still not paying attention. Somehow, it’s still not miserable and bitter for him.

The President will address an unfriendly Congress tonight.

So hopefully, when he stops awkwardly and pauses during his speech, waiting for the hootin‘ and hollerin‘ he’s used to hearing whenever he speaks, this time, he will be faced with a bone chilling silence. Just when we think the man can’t possibly prove that he listens to no one and does what he wants on his own terms – he goes and calls for an increase in the level of troops in Iraq.

Buddy. Dear, evil, hideous President. Come hither. Kitty-time is not afraid to speak freely to you. 65% of the public OPPOSE your plan to increase troops in Iraq.

It’s true, we know math isn’t your strong suit. You are in good company. Math is not kitty-time’s strength either. It can be fuzzy and confusing to many of us, c’est vrai. And yet, 65% is GREATER than 50%, which is half. In other words, more than half the country OPPOSES your plan. In fact, almost two-thirds of the country ARE AGAINST YOUR PLAN.

And making things worse, the people you will be addressing tonight. The men and women in the House and Senate. Yes, them. The MAJORITY of them (that means 50% or greater) – the majority of them represent the brilliant democratic voters who put them in power.

In other words, you’re about as lucky as a pimply dorky teen on prom night, my friend.

Ain’t gonna happen. No one believes you or likes your plan.

Kitty-time, she is not your friend, Monsieur Bush, but she speaks the truth.

And so, dear readers, if you really want to watch this man, with his deer in the headlights expression, address the nation and discuss a plan that no one likes…and just further lowers his approval ratings, tune in tonight.

In other assorted news, a new political web site launched today, http://www.politico.com/ Many of its writers are former Washington Post political writers, so log on. It’s not bad. Kitty-time is most interested in the Anne Schroder “shenanigans” gossip blog featured on the homepage.

And finally, could 2007 be the year of woman vs. woman in politics?
In one corner, we’ve got Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi.
In the other corner, we’ve got Condi-Sleezy and some of the Cheney women.

In today’s Washington Post, Liz Cheney submitted an oped piece and targets Hillary.
In case you are confused, Liz Cheney is the daughter the Cheney’s like to brag about. You know, the one that’s not gay and having a child out of wedlock. This one is just as hawkish as her dad and she’s married to a man. So it’s cool. We can put her out there and get her published in the Post, without embarrassing the family or rattling the conservative base. If you’d care to waste some time, check out her piece:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/22/AR2007012201103.html

Check back tomorrow kittens. Kitty-time will surely have something to say about the SOTU (think Bush will wear a blue tie tonight?) and this afternoon’s catty and ridiculous Oprah.