The Marital Bed O’ Love

Gather round kittens, you are getting a special treat. TWO KT postings today. Lucky Day! Don’t get too spoiled and greedy, however, because I might offend some of you with what I’m about to say. And I’m prepared to do that. Because you come to KT knowing that I call it like I see it and I don’t look back.

 BABIES DO NOT BELONG IN YOUR BED.

The NYT ran a story on co-sleeping and you might note that it is currently the most popular story on their site:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/01/garden/01bed.html?em&ex=1172984400&en=32adadfc38121cb7&ei=5087%0A

Now, c’est vrai. I am not a doctor. I’m not a millionaire from the booming success of my consulting business where I teach parents how to sleep train their babies and get babies and toddlers out of their bed.

And I caution you, I have yet to experience the joys of a toddler escaping from their crib at night and landing in my own bed. I have heard that this happens and I expect it to happen chez moi. After all, my breath smells like roses in the middle of the night, why wouldn’t darling daughter want to partake in that?

But seriously. Let’s be serious for a moment.

Kitty-Time believes that co-sleeping begins when babies are just that, babies. And if you are a parent, you know how easy and real the temptation is to just bring the tot into your bed at 3am when they are crying and crying and crying…and back and forth from your room to theirs is just miserable and well, hell on earth. And you just want to make it stop. And you know that bringing them in to sleep next to you, will make it stop.

If you have a child, we’ve all been there. If you are one of those annoying freaks who claim their baby was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks, then go away. And I’m wishing evil and bad things upon you right now, karma or not.

Back to the story at hand. Co-sleeping. It is a slippery slope, kittens, and once it starts, it never ends. Once you start that habit of bringing that sweet, swaddled, cooing babe into your bed, that babe gets used to it.

I’m here to tell you. Babies are smart. They are also creatures of habit. Oh – and they’re very good at manipulating you because it becomes emotional. I’m not suggesting that your sweet 6 month old has the mental capacity to know that you are a sucker and will throw down your life for her, so a little crying on her part, will result in her desires: sleeping with you. But they are creatures of habit. And why wouldn’t they want to be cuddled up all nice and cozy between mom and dad, if given the choice.

 SO DON’T GIVE THEM THE CHOICE.

Stand firm, dear readers. Don’t break down, even though there are plenty of times when it is the easiest thing to do. Because I assure you, dealing with breaking them of this habit is far more traumatic than the painful treks back and forth from your room to theirs. Once they get a little older and wiser to the world, they do have the mental capacity to manipulate you and get what they want if you don’t stand firm.

And also, don’t forget, your bed is your bed. Not only do you need sleep as much as the rest of us do, but you also need to have sex with your husband.

I know, I know.

Most of you are laughing out loud and saying “really, I do, do I?”

But trust me, you do. Because even if you are tired and still kinda chubby from the baby and maybe haven’t showered in a while, be honest, once you get into it, it’s fun. And well, it’s important for the health of your marriage.

And a good healthy marriage is just as important for mommy and daddy as it is for a good, healthy baby.

And so, dear readers, doubt me or not.  But I’m right on this one.

One Response to The Marital Bed O’ Love
  1. Melanie
    March 2, 2007 | 8:37 pm

    Are you trying to expose me, Kitty? Trying to shame me into admitting my 2 year-old, 37 inches, 25 lbs son has slept in our bed for almost a year? Yeah, I didnt think you were that bold!!!

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