Monthly Archives: June 2007

Dessert is good for your soul

Although summer doesn’t officially start until next week, I think it’s been hot enough for us to consider it officially summer. And, with the change of seasons, always comes a wonderful array of seasonal fruits with which we can delight in eating all summer long.
Peaches, plums, watermelon. And let’s not forget an old favorite, corn.

Watching our little toddler gnaw on an entire ear of corn last night was pretty precious.

But see, it’s not really corn and fruit that I want to talk about today. It’s dessert.

Why? You ask.

Well, last week, when I wasn’t caught up in the details of a BFF’s pending labor and another BFF’s new baby at home, I noticed that there were lots of emails flying back and forth about, well, cake. Amongst different groups of friends, making it all the more fascinating to me.

And no, not “oh, let’s make new mommy a cake and bring it to her in honor of her new baby.” We’re not that generous, or, frankly, that organized.

Just generally emails about cake. And stuffing our faces with it.

And just a week ago, I got caught up in a contentious discussion with my sister over the pros and cons of cake v. pie.

See, the thing is, with the exception of angel food cake with homemade strawberry icing, I could go the rest of my life without cake. My older sister, in particular, was outraged at such a notion and scoffed at pie.  How dare she turn her nose up at a warm cherry pie?

Now – I do love the jelly roll my mom makes around July 4th because well, who doesn’t like cake rolled in heavy whipping cream with blueberries and strawberries mixed in? I can get on board with being patriotic when it comes to themed desserts. The jelly roll is a lovely presentation and while bad for your arteries, it’s good for your soul.

And that’s really what today’s entry is about. Dessert is good for your soul. And your body. If you’re a KT reader, then you are as thin and rich and beautiful and powerful as you want to be – therefore, you need not skimp on dessert.

But see, I’d much rather have pie.

Give me a piece of warm home made rhubarb strawberry pie any day – and man, I am happy.

How about some peach pie with a little ice cream on top?

Mmm mmmm mmmm…now you’re talking.

 I mean, who doesn’t come home from a few hours on the beach and want to stuff their face with some pie?

So what does it say about you if you are a pie lover or a cake lover?

Are you sweet but still a little tart if a pie lover?

Are you a little dry but still sweet if a cake lover?

(This has the potential to turn into a pornographic entry. Don’t think this is lost on me.)

And what if you are an equal opportunity dessert lover? You’ll take it all? You’re like the Italian of the bunch, you’re all for love. Never a hater? Or are you basically like a hooker? You’ll take anything, so long as someone else is paying. Ha.

I, for one, stand for pie. I will look forward to eating as much of my mom’s home made pies as she’ll make when I’m around this summer. I don’t discriminate. Blueberry, rhubarb, peach, apple, whatever floats your boat, I’m all for it. But my sister was left wondering, is it just the sweetened fruit that I love, or do I really love pie crust? Afterall, who am I to turn away a piece of quiche?

If I’ve succeeded in making you hungry and got you to thinking about what you will have for dessert tonight, then my work here is done.

No Return Policy

In the spirit of welcoming new babies into this world, I decided to blog on something unspoken today.

What is that, you wonder?

The real reason why Paris Hilton was released from Prison?

The logic behind lighting up a cig as soon as you exit the gym, HoHan style?

Whether or not Nicole Ritchie is preggo?

Mais non!

Not today!

In the spirit of KT’s BFF’s both having, and now, bringing home their brand new beautiful babies, I am going to pull back the curtain on the truth behind…..drumroll….the FIRST NIGHT HOME WITH BABY.

First, let me caution you all. There is, in fact, NO RETURN POLICY for babies.

And that, dear kittens, is what you will find yourself wondering between midnight-4am on your first night home. You will likely be crying.

Your husband will be pacing the hallways.

OH -and your beloved bundle of joy?

Yeah…not so happy.

Why is baby so difficult that first night? Why so restless? Why so fussy? WHY WON’T SHE SLEEP!

You will find yourself wondering.

And remember, there is no receipt that came with this baby, except that hefty hospital bill and a birth certificate proving this baby is all yours. There is no return policy.

C’est vrai.

One of KT’s dear friends spoke in hushed tones of her first night home from hospital with baby. It was awful. Baby was inconsolable, mommy exhausted, everyone except baby wants to sleep. She wondered if she could return baby to hospital.

Afterall, in the hospital, baby didn’t act like this! Baby was so good! Baby slept perfectly.

Mais non, kittens.

In the hospital, you have a team of nurses that are doing all the work. You just don’t realize it because you’re tired.

For me, the first night home from the hospital actually wasn’t bad. And I remember feeling so relieved that next morning.

We only had to get up TWICE!

And she went right back down easily each time.

HA HA! Surely we were in the clear! Surely I birthed world’s most SUPERIOR BABY! One who doesn’t wake up undesirable amounts of time and ALWAYS goes back to bed, IMMEDIATELY upon filling her tummy.

Right? I am superior, therefore I birth only superior offspring.  

WRONG.

Remember – number one rule of fight club – whenever you think it won’t happen to you. It will. And soon. And worse than you think. KT is not dramatic when speaking about newborns.

And so. Night two was HORRENDOUS for me. I looked for that receipt. I wondered what the return policy was. I had every book printed and sold out on the coffee table, desperately looking for an answer.

I called my mother at 6 in the morning (thanksgiving morning of 2005, I will never forget it). I was crying my eyes out. I didn’t know how to make it stop. How do I make the crying stop? How do we get her back to sleep? When can we sleep? Just make it stop.

Ahh..kittens…..if this hasn’t happened to you because you are pregnant or childless, it will happen to you should you have children. You’ve been warned. I had been warned, I just didn’t heed the warning because it didn’t happen to me on the first night home. I thought I got off scott free.

No one gets off scott free. And if you said you did, then you’re lying. And if you claim you’re not lying, some sleep deprived parent is going to come over and kick your ass.

And you deserve it.

And so, dear kittens, I leave you with this: there is no return policy for your baby. Part of the problem is that as a brand new parent, you don’t know what you are doing, and so, you are being trained by your child. The roles have reversed.

But it gets better. Trust me, it really really really gets better. And while KT is happy to help out any new mom, don’t call me in the middle of the night. I’ve been there, done that, but would love to discuss ideas for attacking the next night, oh, after I’ve luxuriated over morning coffee the next morning. Heh heh.

Go forth new momma’s – and love that baby. It all goes by so fast and in a blur. And just know that you are not alone when you find yourself wondering about that return policy…..

Real Time Delivery

As you all know, KT has been anxiously awaiting the arrival of one of her BFF’s babies. Well, yesterday was the big day – INDUCTION DAY.

At first, KT and her friends were bored with said preggo friend. We got tired of waiting for baby to arrive, we were annoyed with waking up each morning and never finding an email to alert us that she was in labor. Then they scheduled her induction and said she’d likely not go into labor before scheduled date.

SNORE.

SO ANTI-CLIMATIC.

Where is the element of surprise?

Add to it that we were all so sure she was having a boy, mommy-to-be included.

Snore fest, right?

Well……not so fast, kittens. Me thinks my flair for dramatics got a little ahead of reality this time.

As it turns out, it’s the dawn of real time delivery.
No. No. Don’t turn your head in horror. We did NOT have a live webcast going in the delivery room (though it was thrown out there as a viable option when we were tired of wondering what the latest news is); we just were more addicted to our crackberries than normal.

Not only are we all obsessed with up-to-the-minute late breaking cable news, non stop, hungry for more more more, turns out we are addicted to up-to-the-minute late breaking delivery news.

What?

You’re 7cm dilated?

What, exactly, is your excuse for NOT emailing us and letting us know? AS IT IS HAPPENING?

Just picture the scene. The innocent mommy-to-be had her crack with her in the delivery room. The day started out calm with plenty of time to keep me updated.

In which, I would immediately turn around and update the mom’s other BFFs.

Yes – we were operating under the stealth guise of not “inundating” the induced preggo with emails – so instead we were drooling like starving wolves over our computer keyboards and cracks for any snippet of information we could get.

And it was great for a while. Emails would come in quite regularly from the mommy-to-be. Everything sounded good. Spirits were high. Everyone was healthy.

But then. Then.

RADIO DEAD SILENCE.

Nothing.

We heard NOTHING.

And well, mix in a lot of dramatics, a few preggo hormones with one BFF, some brain dead mommy comments with other BFFs, a day without too many work meetings (READ: free time to obsess and email – and let’s not forget a generous amount of time off for a nice lunch) and well…..you can only imagine the plausible scenarios that were being emailed back and forth.

Sure, many comments were witty. I mean, this is moi and mi amigos we are talking about. We are funny, not just pretty.

There were lots of insults being lobbed back and forth as we jockeyed for position over who would have the most accurate guess on birth time and gender.

It’s entirely possible that there might have even been a “Her husband has hands, why hasn’t he used them to email an update,” thrown in. With a few f bombs dropped, using her husband’s name in vain.

Oh, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, KT promised to swear off insulting Republicans for an entire week if the other preggo BFF’s husband kept the updates coming when she goes in labor.

You decide if I went that far.

But really kittens, really, real time delivery news is exciting, late breaking, at times painfully stressful and tedious, and really, a wild ride. Turns out our preggo friend wasn’t boring at all, in the end.

You get to strap yourself in and really feel like you are a part of your BFF’s big day. It leaves a little too much wiggle room for postulating and theorizing, but really, what fun is life without a few ridiculous scenarios tossed into the mix?

In the end, we finally learned the news. We had to log quite a few over-time hours into our cracks. My hands might have still been cracking while I slept last night, after the day I had. One BFF admitted she only left her crack’s side to pee (who are we kidding, we know she takes it into the bathroom).

I mean, how could we not know IMMEDIATLEY of the birth of baby?

And finally, finally, baby was born.

Healthy and strong.

And for those of you paying attention – NOT a boy.

We got the delivery time and gender wrong. We were so wrong.

But man was it fun along the way.

My Real Life

A conversation over dinner this past weekend is inspiring today’s entry. Now first, a disclaimer – in no way am I complaining about my own life today. In fact, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything and I wouldn’t trade being a parent for anything. My darling daughter fulfills me in ways I never imagined possible before children.

Now that being said, I’ve always been aware that someone else is living my “real life.” And most definitely, I felt that someone else was living my “real life” before I even had kids. I’m sure many of you can relate. But let me elaborate.

First of all, my “real life” actually takes place in San Francisco. In this life, I am not worried about the fact that housing prices are sky high there and jobs might be scarce. On top of it, I am the head of corporate communications for the Gap. This high powered job doesn’t impact my family life and my time with my daughter, of course. I also do a lot of pro bono work to fight the international trafficking of women and children. I probably jet around with President Clinton to fight AIDS as well.

In this life, I most definitely “weekend” in Tahoe through ski season - oh – and the inevitable traffic that exists for weekend trips like that between SF and Tahoe – never happens in my real life. Let’s be honest, we have a ski cabin in Tahoe. Naturally it has a view of the Lake and mountains.

Also, in my real life, on a moment’s notice I am off on fabulous vacations. Fiji? How about we stop over in Paris for a few days on the way?

Boating? Let’s head to Hawaii for a long weekend.

Work trip to Hong Kong? Let’s head over to Bali once the work portion is complete.

Isn’t my real life fabulous?

For those cynics out there, my husband and daughter are, indeed, in my real life and play important roles, that part hasn’t changed. As I said, I’m not complaining about them, I just have a “real life” out there somewhere that is fun to live in my head.

If you ask someone about their real life, you’ll get a really good window into their soul. You will really see what they might regret about decisions they’ve made, what kind of career path they would have followed, why they didn’t follow that path, and all the places they want to travel too. It’s particularly fun to ask your own mother or Aunts these questions because then you are most likely to learn of the career path they would have chosen had their been more options beyond nursing and teaching, for example.

KT would love to hear all about your real lives…..