Monthly Archives: July 2007

Oh, I’m definitely going there

By now, all of my loyal fans and followers know there are a two central themes here on KT. Want to sing along? I know you know them.

1. If you think it won’t happen to you, it will. Trust me.

2. Open mockery of Republicans, in particular the small few who are left who still think the President is doing a good job. The only ones that get a pass are the progressive, socially democtratic leaning ones who consider themselves Republicans for tax/financial reasons. You know who you are.

SO really, really, I try to set aside judgement here on KT. You work? You stay home? Great. I love you.

You have a nanny? You send your child to daycare? Super. I love you too.

You had an epidural? Super, so did I. You had a c-section? Great, hope your recovery was fast. We all have our own birth stories. One friend has pointed out that it’s the really horrid, near death ones, that seem to live on in time, haunting those first-time preggo’s out there.

Everyone had a hard delivery. Everyone has a rough time in the beginning. Everyone loves their child.

See? I could be the Secretary of State – the Diplomat of all Mommies.

Until today.  In case you didn’t know it:

“An unassisted birth hammers home what it means to be a woman.”

 

Ahh yes. Today’s Washington Post Health section features a controversial, sure to bring up impressions and emailed links, traffic to their site, story on the wave of women who believe that unassisted birth is the way to go. And by their quotes throughout the piece, appear to be judging those who dare seek out medical guidance or gasp….the use of a hospital, for delivering their child.

 

I think you most definitely should go read the story and learn about how having your 10 year old in the room to help you deliver your child without any medical help or supplies, is what really makes you a woman.  I don’t know about you but I had trouble watching the baby’s head crowning in the birth scene in “Knocked Up.” And I’m not 10.

 

I mean really.

Should I get out my shrink hat and comment on what repercussions a 10 year old girl will face from the trauma of witnessing a natural birth with no medical help or drugs?

Can we check back with that 10 year old in about 20 years to see if she ever intends to have a child? And if so, where she ends up birthing that kid?

 

The bottom line is – I’ll leave all the dangers of birthing a child in your home, without any doctors or midwives present – for the medical experts to discuss. When other people are judgemental, it brings out the worst in me – which is really what this article did to me.

 

But the real point at the end of the day is this – you don’t get a gold star and a trophy branded on yourself, like some kind of superhero emblem, opposite of a scarlet letter, to wear around, for birthing your child in that environment. At the end of the day, all that matters is that mommy and baby are safe and healthy at the end of delivery….and I’m putting my money on a hospital with doctors – where the odds are clearly in mine and baby’s favor. We all know that labor can be very dangerous and things can turn murky on a dime.

 

I’m pretty sure carrying a life inside of you and then bringing it into this world is just ONE of the things that makes you a woman.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/27/AR2007072702164.html?hpid=sec-health

 

It Really Feels Real Now

One of the many strange and life-adjusting things that come with having a child is learning to say the words “My Daughter” or “My Son” or be referred to as someone’s “Mom,” and not turn your head around, looking for your own Mom.

Let’s be honest. It’s weird. Suddenly you go from just being you, if you’re anything like me, not even particularly enjoying being referred to as “Mrs. X” – isn’t that your Mother-in-law?

And then bam.

You deliver this baby and you’re a Mom.

But that doesn’t mean you automatically feel like a Mom. Even when you’re pacing the halls at 3am, or pushing the stroller around town like a zombie, with saggy leaking boobies. Nope. Even then, it can still not feel that real.

At least that’s how I was.

I giggled after saying “My daughter,” I felt like having an out-of-body experience when saying the words “I’m a mom.” Right? Right.

So then I thought that maybe with more time and once darling daughter started referring to me as “Mommy,” it would feel really real by then.

Truth is, I think by the time she started referring to me as “Mommy,” and trust me, I LOVE it, I’d forgotten that it all felt so strange. I just wasn’t focusing on it anymore.

Until the day came when I received a letter in the mail about darling daughter’s new teacher for this coming Fall.

Teacher?

School?

Back to school supplies?

Maybe even a small backpack?

For real? All of a sudden those crazy “back to school” commercials are going to start applying to moi?

And then…then…I received an email from another parent in darling daughter’s class, about scheduling playdates for the classmates.

I’m a Mom with a kid in school?

Wait?

Suddenly I am not getting report cards, or sitting at home with sweaty palms as my mom goes to my parent teacher conference to learn, once again, I’m talking too much in class?

It’s going to be ME going to parent teacher conferences?

For real?

A mom with a kid in school?

Sure, we’re talking about preschool, I’m not getting totally carried away and shipping her off to “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”

But still, it’s just the beginning.

And it feels real now.

But still a little strange.

Am I really mature enough to be a mom with a kid in school? Can I giggle during parent teacher conferences? What if I’d rather be “back to school” shopping for said daughter? And myself along the way (who doesn’t love Fall clothes?)

What if I’m still passing notes, but this time, not in class but in business meetings?

Hopefully my husband will set the better example on that one……

Shopping Tips for Expectant Mama’s

OK. I feel that it’s time for a posting with a useful purpose. I don’t know about you, but I have so many pregnant friends right now. It seems that I have more pregnant friends than non-pregnant friends. And it’s wonderful. Preggo’s are adorable. They are glowing and happy and have strange bodily issues that are always fun to talk about. I can ask probing inappropriate questions and they will answer truthfully because they are just as puzzled and amazed by what their bodies are capable of. It’s fun.

But along the way, it seems that these fun preggos also have lots of questions that are good questions – mainly concerning the baby registry. The dreaded registry. And so, I thought that it might be fun and helpful to tip you off to things that someone may or may not tip you off about along the way. Odds are that most preggos have very helpful mothers or mother’s-in-law (yeah, right) or friends who are mommy’s – but if they have me as a mommy friend, I have mommy/drank way too much in my formative years brain. So I forget things along the way. And so here is my brain dump of the essentials. Take it or leave it kittens, but here is what I’ve learned along the way, in totally random order.

1. Bumper Pads. They look great. They’re almost as fun to pick out as your wedding china, but then comes the day when you start using the crib and you learn something horrible. You learn that you DESPISE the bumper pads because in order to change the crib sheet, you have to REMOVE the bumper pads, lift out the crib mattress, remove said soiled sheet and then replace with clean sheet, and it’s horrible. So first, gather round, NEVER do this job. Keep that a husband job. I, for one, have convinced my husband that I “don’t know how to do it” and it “hurts my back too much.” Take a page out of my book, make it his job. Trust me.  Second, you need crib accessories. There are two kinds.

First – you need the lap pad. You also need this for over the changing pad on your changing table (or wherever it is that you change your child). Because you are pregnant, KT will assure you that your child will never piss all over the place or shit all over you and the changing pad because your baby will be perfect, but just in case it might happen, go get at least three lap pads. One goes in the crib under their adorable butts for when accidents occur while napping or otherwise lying there doing nothing.  One goes on the changing pad. You need at least one extra on hand for just in case. Here is a link:

http://www.buybuybaby.com/shopping/prod_detail/main.asp?uid=CE300C28-2C47-4CA4-B94E-31D0C7030B18-31013472&MainCatID=1&catID=13&sl=0&productID=192108

Second – you need this thing to tie on either side of your crib and it goes where your baby’s head goes. I have no idea what it’s official name is beyond NECESSARY. It’s for when your baby spits up. This way your precious child can spit up on these things and you can easily remove them yourself and put a fresh one on, rather than the dreaded sheet change because sometime these undesirable events happen during the day when said husband is at work. Again, three is always a good number:

http://www.buybuybaby.com/shopping/prod_detail/main.asp?uid=CE300C28-2C47-4CA4-B94E-31D0C7030B18-31013472&MainCatID=1&catID=13&sl=0&productID=111554

2. Diapers. Lots of opinions on diaper brands, what works the best, whatever. Just experiment. I was very brand loyal to Pampers for most of my baby’s first year until I noticed red marks on her thighs. I could tell she wasn’t ready for the next size and had to switch to Huggies because they didn’t cut into her thighs. So keep your eye out for fit. Also just because the diaper is labeled a weight limit doesn’t mean it is a perfect science. Are you always a size 4? Sometimes you’re a 2 or 0, right?

Of course you are.  So don’t be wed to the weight limit. And if your child’s diaper starts leaking a lot – might be time to try the next size up or again, try a different brand. And if none of that works, well then, that’s what emergency bath situations are for.

3. Pack’n'Play. A wonderful invention. A fabulous thing to have for as long as your child will stay in it. But changing your baby on the pack’n'play changing table can be a killer on your back, especially if you are tall. I highly recommend the pack’n'play with the changing table that rises up a bit higher – it’s a life saver. Graco makes one – I think the Madison Avenue edition. It’s worth the extra bucks if you like no back pain.

4. Mobile. You want a mobile that is interesting for your baby, not one that you personally think is pretty or matches the room. This is a very important distinction, kittens. This is the kind of device that serves a very real and legitimate purpose – it ENTERTAINS your baby. So just think of it like this – it’s 5am. You don’t want to be up. No one does. But your baby is up. If your mobile is interesting for your CHILD – then said mobile will keep said baby entertained in crib. Even if this buys you 20 more minutes of being able to lay in bed and just lay there. Trust me. It’s worth it. So what sorts of things are interesting for the baby, you ask? Patterns on the bottom of the little animals – usually they are geometric and in black and white. Obviously music and motion and a mirror. Parents and babies alike prefer mobiles play music for as long as possible.  Mirrors are always a crowd pleaser for the under 1 set. For a while, we actually had 2 mirrors in our darling daughter’s crib. One came at the base of the mobile and another got added (by moi after an extravagent shopping spree to Target) on the opposite side of her crib. Of course, she never knew it was her – but it was very entertaining for her to gaze at herself and talk to herself until she lost all toy privileges in her crib because the distraction kept her up. But you have a while to go before then. With infants, you want to buy yourself as much time as possible in the crib so you can just lay in bed. So think of that when selecting your mobile, not what looks like it so nicely was pulled from the Pottery Barn Cataloge and locks-in your chances of winning the Home Decor award for best decorated nursery.

5. The Jumperoo. I am a huge proponent of the Jumperoo. It is safe. It is self-standing, it has only mildly annoying music (versus the gut-wrenching, someone kill me now, music that comes in the star of the Baby Einstein activity mat), and it guarantees physical activity. And what comes after physical activity? NAPS! The Jumperoo is a no brainer and unlike the Exersaucer – again – it requires physical movement. It is a must-have in my book. As soon as your darling child can hold up his/her own head, put baby in the Jumperoo. Sure, we had to wrap blankets around my daughter to fill out the space in the seat and put phone books underneath because her feet didn’t touch the ground at first - but again – it didn’t harm her in the least and my main game – is nap time. I might be running baby boot camp but it works.

6. The stroller. I hate to even go here because it has churned out so many emails and debates but I feel I must because it keeps coming up. So first – this is just my opinion. Take it or leave it. I’m only going to tell you what worked for me and I largely based my decision on my mom’s help. She had 4 kids. I felt like she knew what she was talking about. I think the biggest problem is the dirth of good strollers we have to pick from in the States. But unfortunately, most of us can’t jet off to Europe to purchase our stroller, so we are stuck with our limited options. First – what I don’t understand is the idea of purchasing a stroller that you cannot put your child in from day one home from the hospital. Oddly enough, there are more strollers of that kind than I can believe. What is the point of a stroller if you can’t put your baby in it until they can hold up their head? I don’t know. Also – if you are having a child in extreme weather – such as hot summer or cold winter – why force your child to be shoved into the infant car seat in order to be in a stroller and pushed around? I think they get really hot in the summer in the car seats and well, how well can you bundle them up in the winter in the car seat? Which is why you want a stroller that allows them to stretch out and be comfy in from the beginning. In order for this to happen, your stroller needs to be able to go fully flat. Not a lot of them do but I think it’s definitely worth the extra money. You also want a stroller that is going to give your baby blockage from the cold winter wind and from the beating hot sun in the summer. In other words – the canopy of the stroller. Does it really cover them? Obviously you also want to consider how easily the stroller folds up, how much it weighs, and if the wheels turn smoothly and without trouble. Taking all of these things into account leaves you with very few options, sadly, but when your baby is fussy and you can prop them in the stroller and push it back and forth while sitting on your couch, wishing it would stop, it’s worth it. I have the Peg Perego A3 Pramette which unfortuantely is no longer sold in stores but you can still get it online. I’ve considered buying another one just to have – because that’s how much I love it – but I have better ways to spend $300.

7. Infant car seat. You can’t leave the hospital without one. And if you think you are walking home from the hospital, then allow me to say — that you’re not. So you need one. The infant car seat needs to be rear facing and the baby needs to remain rear facing until they are 20 pounds AND 1 year. Most are 20 pounds well before they are 1. Most babies also grow out of the infant car seat by around 6-7 months – and the convertible car seats can go rear facing. The real safety experts actually want you to keep your child rear facing until they are three but at least for me – that’s a pipe dream. But she was rear facing until she was 1. You should also get your car seat inspected because trust me, you and your husband don’t know how to install it properly. No one does. At the inspection, you will learn all about how to install it properly, how to strap baby in properly (yes, there’s a correct way) and why you shouldn’t have hanging toys or mirrors for the baby in the car. First – they will explain that they become torpedoes at the baby’s face in the event of an accident. Second – the mirrors in particular are distracting for the driver because you get caught up looking at your sweet cherub’s face and forget you are supposed to be paying attention to the road. My point – be sure to get your seat checked!

I think I’ve covered the big areas by now. Sure I didn’t get into swings or cribs but you already know you need those. And my final comment is this. While pregnant, we all go through this exercise of – is all of this really necessary? It’s going to take up so much space in my house? I don’t want all this in my house? Where’s it going to go? What about my beautiful X?

Look. Trust me. Your small tiny infant is going to take over your home. It’s not going to look the same for a long time and all the stuff is necessary because it helps you survive the day. And makes your baby happy. And so you are happy.

Baby Beauty Pageants

Just when you thought we’d covered all the bizarre and unusual topics concerning babies here on KT, think again. There’s more.

And in case any of you have forgotten, let’s harken back to last December’s entry on baby wigs. For those of you who have become new parents since that time, don’t forget, you can always find a baby wig for your precious child to help them look more like your favorite celebrity – just log on here:

 http://www.babywigs.co.uk/acatalog/BabyToupee.html

I think the Donald Trump wig is still my personal fav.  

In the meantime, think about your beautiful babe. If you’re anything like me, you’re pretty sure that there isn’t a better looking kid out there. Particularly once their personality develops more. Then you’re really quite sure that your kid is the next America’s top model – whether you have a boy or a girl.

In dark moments, you might begin to wonder wierd things like – is my baby so good looking that people see him/her and then look at me and wonder who she got her good looks from?

Or even worse – you think they just see your beautiful child and then see you, equally beautiful and glowing new mommy – and it all makes sense to them?

Right?

Right.

OF course that’s what they are thinking.

But just in case you needed validation, you can always head over to your favorite local shopping mall and enroll your baby in a beauty pageant.

Anyone else envisioning JonBenet Ramsay now parading around like a china doll in all those videos we saw after she disappeared?

Yes well, in case you missed it, Sunday’s Washington Post featured a hilarious and insider’s look into the world of baby beauty pageants. I, for one, really love the reporter’s sense of humor, so I enjoyed reading the piece in its entirety….and if you need a good laugh, I’d urge you to log on and read it as well:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/18/AR2007071802772.html

Of the many times I laughed out loud, I think my favorite was the consensus that amongst the fathers, they were there because their wives made them.