R2D2 – was that you?
Wait – I’m sorry, I think it was supposed to have been Britney.
But did I fall asleep and wake up and not realize that robots now roam planet earth and have morphed themselves to look like the human species? Is it 3007 not 2007? Has the Space Odyssey begun? If so, I hate science fiction, about as much as I hated last night’s VMA opener.
Did everyone see the robotic performance brought to us by Brit-bot last night at the VMAs? Sponsored by Robots International?
I, for one, was floored. I couldn’t believe how terrible and lousy and embarassing and unprofessional her performance was. It was as if she’d never been on stage before, what with the inability to lip-sync and wearing shoes that she clearly couldn’t walk in, let alone dance in. I was left wondering the entire time – what was she on – or could she really have been that shell shocked and nervous? I mean – this is BRITNEY we are talking about.
And the thing is – it seemed like everyone was ready for a huge Britney come back, including myself, and I’m not sure why. To recap – in a matter of months, Britney’s managed to make her hideous ex-husband seem like Father of the Year, she’s estranged herself from her mother, behaved terribly on at least one photo shoot, drug her kids around town at god forsaken hours for toddlers to be out, is pulled over by the police like once a week, before we even get into the clear substance abuse problem. And yet – yet – all of us, Paris included, were ready for a big Britney comeback. There’s nothing like having the support of Paris on the red carpet. It surely warms a gal’s soul.
Again – she is not someone who is down on her luck or fallen on hard times – so why were we all routing for her? Nation – usually we like those who have to pull themselves up by their boot straps. It seems we give a special exception to Brit-bot, this time we are routing for someone who has to wipe the coke from her nostrils but we still want her to win.
And she blew it, she was like some kind of high robot up on stage, lacking any kind of stage presence or sex appeal.
And her body – let’s get to that. Let me first preface it by saying that she is very sexy and thin. But she still somehow seemed big – especially when you think about her previous python, making out with Madonna VMA performance. Yes yes – I realize that having two children does that to a body – even if you’ve had a tummy tuck and boob job to help move things along – but it’s a tough business and I think she should have worn something a little less revealing and ultimately sexier.
Maybe it’s because she’s a mom and has two children and is still a baby herself – but whatever the reason – it seems that we all wanted the resurgence of Britney 2007. But we didn’t get it. Instead, we got the alien arrival of Brit-Bot, world’s worst performing robot.
With that, kittens, check out my latest posting on the Chinese and their products over at DC Metro Moms, know that I, of course, found a way to blame the Republicans: