Pushin’ Presents

It’s a rare day when I am pleased with a segment on motherhood on the Today Show. Unfortunately I missed the segment on “Pushin’ Presents” this morning but a friend reminded me of it and well….there’s a story about it on their web site:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21101071/

And so first, let me say that I think the phrase “baby present” is much more desirable and easier on the ear than “Pushin’ Present.” So moving forward, we will refer to it as a baby present.

That being said, I know there are two schools of thought out there. One is that well, you receive a baby present after you have a baby – and this gift should come from your husband or partner to you. The other is that it is ridiculous and why should you receive such a thing?

I’m thinking we can all figure out who falls in which camp…over in one corner we have the women advocating for baby gifts and in the other we have the husbands wondering WTF.

So once again, I will take it upon myself to comment.

It is my belief that once you endure 9 or 10 months of pregnancy..and then you get that baby out of you – however that baby might come out – you are more than deserving of a gift. See, the American Husband – he can just show up one day, help hold your leg back for however long it takes and bam – he gets a baby.

But you – need I get into all the things you go through in order to bring this child into the world? If you don’t know yet well, you’ll find out soon enough.

I also believe that while the husband might think that purchasing a gift for his wife is nonsense BEFORE the baby is born, even if you’ve had a difficult pregnancy, I firmly believe that once he witnesses precisely what you go through to give him this child, he’ll quickly change his mind, all the while thanking the good Lord above that he is a man.

If you are still pregnant and doubtful that this day of enlightenment will ever shine brightly upon your husband, fear not kittens, just trust me. Of course, if you are foolish enough to not want your husband in the room because you don’t want him to “not desire you” or “see you that exposed” – well then you’re an idiot and I don’t feel sorry for you if you don’t get anything. I am of the belief that your husband helped get you in this situation – he sure as hell is going to be there to witness what you have to do to get out of this situation. Why should he get off scott-free? It’s bad enough that his boobies will never engorge.

So, now that we’ve established that you’ve more than earned a gift, let’s discuss what this gift might be and how you go about getting what you want.

First, you might have a husband who is a masterful gift giver and will rush off and purchase you something extravagant or sparkly and just dazzle you in the moment of surprise when he presents said gift. If that is the case then bless you. You deserve it.

This might not be the case, however, so then you are left wondering – do you sit around and hope it’s a good one or do you chime in?

Ladies – again – you’ve endured enough – if there is something that you have your eye on, then don’t be a martyr, SPEAK UP. Communicate this to your husband. In my personal situation, I was really hoping that my darling husband would just blow me away,  but he just felt overwhelmed. I still don’t know if before I went into labor, he actually thought he was going to get me anything, but he certainly must have changed his mind and he felt like it was too big of a decision to make on his own.

So off we went together, me, husband, darling new daughter and all my extra baby weight, off in search of what this gift would be. It didn’t feel overly romantic at the time but again – I’d been through enough and at the end of the day, I received something very lovely.

Which brings me to the final point – this doesn’t need to be a gift that breaks the bank or puts you in debt. Hell, supporting a child will do that enough. But it should be something meaningful and with the best intentions, you might actually believe that you will impart this gift to your child one day when he/she is old enough.

Of course, that might just be the new mommy love talking in you. The hardened, tired parent of a 25 year old might feel quite differently but we don’t need to worry about that right now.  Hell, the hardened tired parent of an almost 2-year old already feels differently about that on some days.

All I’m sayin is that at the end of the day, if momma’s happy, everyone’s happy, and on the days when you’re particularly exhausted or pissed off at your husband, it just might help a little bit to look down and admire your baby gift instead of that muffin top that you can’t seem to get rid of.

One Response to Pushin’ Presents
  1. livingbehindthecurve
    October 4, 2007 | 4:07 am

    Oh, for the love of god, don’t we have enough compulsory gift-giving already? What the hell sort of culture is this that a wife doesn’t feel loved by her husband if he’s not giving her stuff? What kind of relationship is that? Ridiculous.

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