The Cougar

I have been remiss in blogging about the Cougar. The whole idea of the Cougar has been something that’s intrigued me for months now. I’ll be honest, I love the term. It’s much sexier and hipper than being a “Sugar Daddy.” A cougar is fast, stealth, not easy to catch, well-built, can pounce on a second. I mean – come on. Being called a Cougar is pretty sweet, in my mind.

I know some of you might disagree but there you go, I said it, I love the Cougar. I want to be a Cougar, except the part where I married a man who is older than me.

But there are some questions lingering out there around Cougars.

The first – at what age are you a Cougar? My co-worker, he loves the Cougars of the world but being a man in his 30s, he does not believe I am old enough to be a Cougar. A puma? Perhaps. But I’m not old enough to be a Cougar, according to him.

I’m ok with Puma.

But what about the man in his 20s? Would he consider a woman in her 30s, a Cougar, I wondered.

I just got my answer.

I just had a working lunch with my co-worker and a man in his 20s. Towards the end of the lunch, he commented that he’s dating a Cougar. He’s 25 and she’s 36. The entire dynamic of the lunch changed at that point. It was like we all had three beers under our belt and just rolled up our sleeves and dove into the pros and cons of the Cougar.

I’ll admit, until this younger guy admitted to dating and loving Cougars, I wasn’t overly impressed. But then, his reasons for preferring Cougars really got me. He went on to explain that women in their 20s are still trying to find themselves, they are still rife with insecurities and they complain about their bosses. Apparently this guy’s brother said “Dude, your girlfriend will never complain about the boss because she is the boss.”

I loved that.

So basically, he loves a more confident, self-assured, successful business woman. He loves the Cougar and claims he can never go back to women his own age.

Which then brought up the other issue that I’ve wondered about the Cougar-younger man relationship. That pesky biological clock.

So, knowing this man all of 45 minutes, I felt we had enough history together for me to inquire about this particular challenge.

I said, “It just seems to me, that at the end of the day, that the relationship between a man in his 20s dating a woman in her mid-late 30s might not be able to withstand time if the woman wants to get married and have kids.”

My fellow lunch mate was open to this and just said he doesn’t know where he stands with kids, given his age, but the Cougar said she doesn’t want them. I mean, who’s really thinking about having babies at 25? Certainly I wasn’t.

I still have my suspicions that at the end of the day, a relationship with that great of an age difference can really withstand time, in particular with the woman being more than 10 years older, but we all know Demi has made it work. It’s just the kids issue. If the woman wants children, her own biological children, I just don’t know how it can work out. Call me cynical.

But setting that aside, I am all for Cougars. Love the term, love how much people want to talk about it. Love it.

Cougar it up, kittens.

2 Responses to The Cougar
  1. jules
    January 10, 2008 | 3:42 am

    I love your lunchtime conversations…with strangers. Love it.

  2. Not Afraid To Use It
    January 10, 2008 | 6:35 am

    I love this post! Good on you for asking him the crucial questions. I mean, the opportunity presented itself, so why not? And like you, I LOVED his answers. Men wanting confident women? Hell yeah!

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