Monthly Archives: August 2008

The Things People Say

August 7, 2008

Being a 6 month preggo, I could easily write a posting on all the outrageous, obnoxious and offensive things people say to you when you are pregnant – but really – there’s nothing that I can relay to my dear readers that any of you haven’t heard before. Why the body becomes public commentary when pregnant never ceases to amaze me, but such is the reality of being pregnant, right? We move on because it ain’t gonna change.

So instead, I’d like to blog on other insane and strange things people say once becoming parents. I’m sure to get at least one person all riled up today….and well..my claws are out….

Why do some mothers make comments like this about their husbands:

“Oh, he just loves the baby so much. You just can’t believe how much he loves her (him) and dotes on her (him).”

Why? Ladies? WHY?

Know that I am rolling my eyes and throwing up in my mouth each time I hear this.

If you’re not sure why, then allow me to explain.

OF COURSE HE LOVES HIS CHILD  – HE IS THE FATHER.

Why does anyone feel the need to say that out loud? Isn’t that a given? When have you ever heard a husband saying “Oh, she just loves the baby so much, you wouldn’t believe how much my wife dotes on the baby.”

I mean – come on people. We KNOW your husband loves the baby! And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel like others need to be told that he loves his child.

So is it something people say because they don’t know what else to say? Because they are just sort of amazed with watching their husband become a father? Because they are insecure and were worried their husband WOULDN’T love the child? I just don’t get it. It just makes me talk about them with my husband later that night.

It’s kind of like when people marvel about how their husbands are home “babysitting” the baby if the mom has to be out one night for whatever reason. Is the mom “babysitting” her child when the dad is out late one night? I never hear it described as such. Frankly, I never hear it mentioned whatsoever. So why do women use the word “Babysitting” for their husbands watching their own spawn?

Again – I can’t blame husbands for any of this – I never hear them making these dumb ass comments.

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Husbands, Motherhood

Toddler as Feminist?

August 4, 2008

What is the old adage, out of the mouth of babes?

Well, I experienced that first hand over the weekend and I must tell you, my heart was beaming with pride.

Let me set the stage.

We’ve been talking about the joys and wonders of having a baby sister around our house for a few weeks. We talk about DD’s friends who all have a baby brother or baby sister, we talk about the fun things we can do with a baby sister, and we’ve started reading a few books at bed time about bringing home a baby sister.  It seemed to us that it just made sense to start generically talking about babies before dropping the old “oh, and you’re getting one, like it or not, come this fall” on her.

DD is like a teen. Some times when we ask her if she wants a baby sister, her response is “uh huh” and other times it’s a flat out “No.”

I love it.
Kind of like each time you ask her what she wants to be for Halloween, it’s different, ranging from a flower to a pumpkin to cowboy Dora (because she happened to be holding Cowgirl Dora at that moment and what’s the difference…cowboy, cowgirl?). Again, we don’t put much weight in the opinions of someone approaching 3.

Until Saturday evening, that is. I was reading her a story about a monster family and the day the Daddy announces the new baby sister is coming home. We were about half-way through this very age appropriate book when DD looks up at me and poses this question: “But where is the daddy?”

It had never even occurred to me.

So the daddy opens the story with informing the son that the baby sister is coming home, then he’s seen removing the jacket from the mom as she walks in the door holding the new baby sister and then..low and behold..he is not spotted again until the last page when the family is taking a walk together. Through the middle of the book, the mommy is always showing the little boy what fun things you can (and cannot) do with a baby sister, including changing stinky diapers and tickling baby’s tummy.

How brilliant DD’s observation was! Where is the daddy? Why was he not doing any of the leg work with the baby?

I was so proud. And furthermore, it was clearly a testament to her own dad and how engaged he is in her daily routine that she was struck by the total and complete absence of the father in the story.

Out of the mouth of babes, right?

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Husbands, Motherhood
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