So, you’ve heard me say this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again. I judge others less now. Parenthood is humbling. After having DD1, I found myself much less judgmental of other parents, in particular. Then we had DD2 and I found myself judging even less. I was suddenly that person using TV and bribery to survive a day. I’m the gal who leaves TicTacs on top of the toilet – at the ready to bribe DD1 after she uses the facilities. Look, we all just need to get through the day. My strong opinions and convictions have really watered down.
But fear not kittens – not in all areas. It seems that in some departments, I am way more judgemental because I have much less tolerance for freaking idiots. And in this case, I am talking about idiotic women. Moms in particular.
There is a lot of talk out there about how a moms’ relationship with food and her body plays a serious role in how her daughter views food and her body. But let’s talk instead about the relationship between mom and dad – and how that might impact the daughter and son. What brings this topic on, kitty? You ask.
Let me tell you. Because I’ve been irritated for two days now.
On Saturday, DD1 and I participated in a fund raising walk for a good cause. I wasted my breath telling DD1 how we were raising money for people with owees to help them get better. What she really cared about was wearing that super cool number across her chest. Ahh…the little things in life.
So fast forward to the walk. I was talking with one mom who I know and another I didn’t know. We were discussing, pretty generically, the difficulties in finding time to workout. The friend and I were both saying that the only time we can get to the gym is super early in the morning. The stranger-to-me- mom started rapid firing questions to my friend:
“who watches the boys when you are at the gym”
“umm…my husband, but usually at least the older one is still asleep”
“well what happens when one wakes up – do you have your nanny come early for gym days?”
Camera pans to KT….at this point, my eyes are getting all squinty and I am shaking my head slowly in horror at this woman, wondering if it’s possible for this conversation to derail even further.
But oh yes kittens…it only gets worse.
So friend responds that usually just the baby will get up and well…her husband just gives him a bottle.
She is being remarkably non-judgmental and easy going in her responses, I am thinking in disgust. I am ready to spit venom at this disgrace of a woman.
And this other woman keeps pushing it – “Your husband can just stay home with the two kids and watch them by himself? No nanny?”
Ok – at this point, this pathetic woman is incredulous at this notion..so I wait for her to say something like “my hideous slob of a husband is totally incompetent and it’s unacceptable”
Or something to demonstrate that she realizes just how disgusting it is that she buys into this crap that she can’t leave her husband alone with two children, one of whom is probably sleeping, for ONE HOUR.
But no kittens – she seemed to find it more bizarre that me and my friend leave the children alone with the husbands.
What is happening in this world that this conversation even happened? Among seemingly normal and educated and smart women. WTF is what I kept thinking.
It was at that point that we bailed out on the walk and headed over to another festival. I couldn’t tolerate one more conversation along these lines and it was hot as hell.
Naturally I went home in a rant and dove into it with DH. His response “Man, what the hell have I done wrong?”
Ha ha. But seriously – why are there women out there who somehow tolerate and accept this notion that their husbands cannot and should not be left alone with their children? What kind of message does this send to our kids? And what kind of pathetically low levels of self-respect do these women have? And then there’s this – what do they think is going to happen if, god forbid, something happened to them. If they can’t leave their kids alone with their father for one hour at 6 in the morning, what’s going to happen if the worst happens? Have they considered how they are only hurting their kids more by perpetuating this bullshit?
I don’t really blame this ineptitude on the dads. Clearly these men are lazy as hell and totally full of themselves and the importance of their time if they believe they can’t be left alone with their children. But I blame the women for perpetuating it. For believing that only they know how to take care of their children, their husbands are incapable or can’t be trusted.
What I wonder is this – why did they have children with these men? And not just one – why have more than one?
Why, in this day and age, are women still perpetuating this absurd idea that only the mother can tend to the children. I am outraged, annoyed and judge the hell out of these women.