Things I Didn’t Anticipate

Or forgot about….when it comes to having another baby or juggling two kids:

1. How time consuming it is to feed babies..and burp them….who else hates burping babies?

2. How much babies poop and how much time you spend changing their diapers. Seriously. Is it time for potty training yet?

3. How adorable baby laughs are because it’s like they don’t really know how to laugh. I swear baby laughter could solve world problems.

4. How time consuming it would be to lug two kids to preschool…..a half-mile trip takes me 45 minutes round trip…then add in cold rain and man is it a freaking pain. My  hair never looks good. (as if it ever did).

5. The mobile. When we had just one child, the mobile used to be what we could turn on and keep DD1 in her crib and entertained for a while longer…until we felt like grabbing her out. Not so much anymore. See – turning on the mobile runs the risk of waking DD1….and well….it’s easier to have DD2 awake than DD1 – so as much as I want to keep DD2 in her crib, I want to keep DD1 asleep more – so the musical part of the mobile – the very part that made it so useful before – is now rendered useless. Poor DD2 barely knows there is music with it – she spends lots of time watching the animals move round and round…with the music on mute. Ha ha. How she suffers.

Things I should invent:

1. Baby activity gyms and swings with cool music – not music that renders you homicidal.

2. Teething rings made for the size of a baby hand – not an adult sized hand…and teething rings that they can grip and will stay in place….I’m thinking Velcro.

3. My own Noggin channel without Yo Gabba Gabba, Blues Clues and without f’ing “Puzzle Time”

4. Bibs for feeding that stay close to the neck of a 5 month old…and therefore keep the carrot stains on the bib….not these “baby” bibs that fit my 3.5 year old. WTF. Whoever makes those obviously has never had a baby…or they are in cahoots with the makers of Spray’n’Wash.

These are my rants and observations on a cold and rainy day in MAY….not February…MAY.

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