Addicted to Dr. Google

I have noticed something alarming happening all around me. It is the latest and most prominent addiction crisis impacting the nation, particularly parents.  Another group afflicted with this addiction is pregnant women. I think you all know what I’m talking about.

How many times have you found yourself, with perspiration gathering on your upper lip, your heart rate accelerated, your shifty eyes darting around the room, as you slowly type in the words on your computer.

You wonder what the first links will be, you wonder how many search results will turn up, how many pages deep you will go into the search before you are fully diagnosed.

You are staring down a Google search. You know you shouldn’t. You know you should close out, retreat and just go get some coffee. Or call the doctor. Or pediatrician. Or better yet, even call and equally as clueless friend (I like to fancy myself a pseudo doctor, I know as much as McSteamy – call me).

But you can’t help yourself.  You can’t move away from the Google search. Another common scenario is that first time you are in the doctor’s office, doctor is mumbling words, you don’t know what it means, you really aren’t listening, you are wondering how quickly you will get back to your office and can settle into your chair. You worry your internet service will slow down, some jerk might be streaming video and slowing down the service. How quickly can you punch out the words and pull up the search? You hold your breath. What will you learn from the results?

Sudden death is surely imminent, of this you are certain.

The other common scenario is the foggy thinking of a sleep deprived new parent. It’s 3am. Outside the walls of the home, the world is quiet and peaceful. Inside the home, a small infant no bigger than your neighbor’s stupid looking small dog, is wreaking havoc on their world. They just need to sleep. They just need quiet.

And the baby has…..gasp……HICCUPS.

The mom is crying, the new dad is just dazed and confused, so what is the solution? Pull up Google. Google it.

“Should I type in ‘baby hiccups’ or more specifically “newborn with hiccups?” asks the dad.

Mom glares at him, eyes shooting lasers through his brain for such a  numb-skulled question when time is of the essence.

He types in the phrase and 449,000 results come up. This man doesn’t have all night. What is a desperate parent to do?

An intervention is in order. We all are addicted to curing ourselves and solving our medical problems via Google search. It’s quick, it’s cheap and it doesn’t require loitering in a doctor’s office for hours on end.

The trouble is, relying upon Dr. Google only enables our imaginations to run wild. And if you have a flair for dramatics, as I do, then the most life-threatening possibility of all the Google searched possibilities, is the only outcome to your health crisis. This crisis is rampant and one that we must stop.

Google medical searches only keep your blood pressure up, your heart racing and give life to our worst case scenarios. I vote that as much as we can possibly do it, we refrain from relying upon Dr. Google to diagnose our ailments. It’s a slippery slope out there.

2 Responses to Addicted to Dr. Google
  1. SassyAsti
    September 17, 2009 | 3:52 pm

    Oh I have a big addiction with Dr. Google. No matter how many times I am told to stop googling, I still do it. To even try to hide my bad addiction with doctors, I preface all my comments with..” I know you have to be careful what you find on the internet, as things can be taken out of context, but I read on the internet that…”

  2. pregowithhalfasian
    September 17, 2009 | 5:53 pm

    Googling will give you the crazies.. but it does come in handy when perusing your sons new school’s parent directory and many other things that I waste hours on ;)..

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