Should we talk about our delivery stories? Especially to preggos?
This is a question a BFF posed this week. She is expecting her second child in November and emailed in that she was miffed with some woman in her office who proceeded to ramble on and on about her own personal labor story with every excruciatingly painful detail.
This WM friend interrupted her – she just didn’t want to know, especially as she’s rounding the corner to the final weeks of her pregnancy. Part of me was thrown back to days before my own second delivery.
I had a false labor – one that was so powerful it landed me in a delivery room – only to learn it just wasn’t time. It wasn’t until that moment of sitting in the bed, dressed in the gown, with the sitz bath in all its putrid yellow glory squealing my name from the bathroom, that the reality of getting the kid out of me starting settling in. It’s terrifying in those final moments, when you really start to think about it, isn’t it?
So why do people feel compelled to share their stories with others? Especially third tri preggos?
Is it rude?
Or is it a badge of honor? A way we bond with each other? Not to mention, it is such a profoundly moving day – even if you feel like the insides of you are being split into a million pieces – it still is such a profound day that I understand the desire to speak of it later.
What is the protocol here?
I actually don’t think there is a one-size fits all approach here. I mean, we’ve unanimously agreed that it’s best to keep your mouth shut and refrain from commenting on the size of a growing preggo. We’re definitely not sure about whether it’s appropriate or presumptuous to tell a woman you think she looks great when you learn she has a newborn at home, so what about labor?
I think it’s healthy and interesting and normal to discuss it with girlfriends. I respect it when someone doesn’t share because they just might not want to relive it but for the most part, almost everyone I am good friends with has relayed details of their delivery stories with me. Everyone’s experience is so different.
But I think there is definitely a line – is it from the moment you learn someone is preggo or is it just as they’ve crossed the 30 week threshold – is it if they are a first time preggo whereas if they’ve already found their legs in the stirrups and their ass hanging off the table – we figure they can handle it?
I ask you.
Generally I presume that preggos – whether they’ve been there before or not – or whether they have 2 weeks left or 30 weeks left in their pregnancy – just being pregnant seems like enough reason to not openly discuss labor in their presence. They haven’t forgotten that they have to get that baby out some day – and either way you slice it – it’s no sunday walk in the park.
What do you think?