Oprah says your  home should rise up to greet you.

Maybe my first problem is I don’t know what that means.

Or maybe my first problem is I have children.

And what is it that my home should say, when it rises up to greet me? Should it say “Look, mommy, there’s a mouse-hole in the shower!” as my daughter did the other day, when she was pointing to what was actually some mold in the corner of the shower….our cleaning lady kept cancelling on me and I ran out of Clorox to get rid of that bad boy……

So is that what Oprah means about our homes rising up to greet us?

Is it me or is it next to impossible to not have some level of chaos in the home? I think adding more children to the brood only exacerbates this reality. Of course, the husband who just disregards things wherever he feels like it and never thinks to put them where they belong doesn’t help with how my home greets me.

Am I alone here people? I know I’m not the only one who finds work socks on the dining room table, for example. And hammers on low window ledges that 19 month olds with gumby arms can reach easily.

So when Oprah preaches this on her various home shows, or when another stupid Pottery Barn Kids Catalog arrives in my mail box, I think about what my home greets me with: organized chaos, piles of mail and kid art and cards that should’ve been mailed like 2 weeks ago, random toys and books strewn about the floor.

Who’s home, when shared with husbands and children, rises up and greets them proudly? Who are these people? How do they do it? Is it even possible?????