Babble’s Parenting Brags: What They Missed

Recently, I stumbled on a pretty hilarious post on Babble – they created the top 10 list of online parenting brags that basically incite rage in all of us. I felt like they hit on some of the most egregious offenses but not all of them. Am I alone – have you ever logged onto Facebook and seen what someone has posted about their kid or parenting and found yourself about ready to hurl electronics or dishes, at the wall?

Maybe I have issues. But sometimes, get me when I am cranky and sleep deprived enough, say just the wrong thing – and forget it – all bets are off. I don’t think the offenders are just on Facebook, I’ve seen it also on mom forums or listservs. So, here are WM’s very own list of parenting brags that I think Babble totally missed:

yeah..just like my house...i always have to wake my kids...

1. Why can’t my kids ever sleep until 8AM?

Ummm..really….THAT is what you are complaining about? Cause I’ve been trying to get my 3-year-old to sleep past 4:30am since September 1. When parents complain about how long their kid sleeps…hopefully they realize that if their kid gets to 6am, then that is a miracle and there’s nothing to complain about. EVER. Right? Am I alone here?

2. I can’t believe it, she just totally potty trained herself!

Uh huh.

3. I lost weight in the first half of my pregnancy.

Vomit.

4. I’m giving away all my maternity clothes, they’re all extra-small.

Vomit again.

5. I just couldn’t keep the weight on when I was nursing him. It was so hard.

Really? It was so hard to be super skinny weeks after giving birth? #firstworldobnoxiousproblem

6. I couldn’t believe Frannie wouldn’t eat the salmon I made for dinner! I was so surprised!

Yep..all smiles at my dinner table as they eagerly eat whatever I make

Why don’t you come over. Some days my children look at me like a plate of pasta is a dish of boiled brains I’ve just whipped up.

7. I’d like to think my attentive parenting is the reason Annie never throws a tantrum.

Sure. Of course it is.

8.  Little Sarah is just so advanced. Of course, we read to her every night, play puzzles and never let her watch TV.

Right. Good for you. I use the TV as a co-parent when my husband travels.

What did I miss friends? I mean – parents complaining about children waking “too early” really tops my list.  On Thursday, I will be giving thanks if my kids let me sleep past 5:30AM and will eat a few things on the Thanksgiving table without complaining about it. You?

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9 Responses to Babble’s Parenting Brags: What They Missed
  1. Laura
    November 22, 2011 | 12:27 pm

    Awww Little Johnny only took a 2 hour nap after preschool not his normal 3. Bummer.
    Yup my daughter hasnt napped since 9 months she is a sleeper.

    Little Baby Jones was born and is absolutely perfect. Meaning all those babies born birth abormalities or defects are not perfect.
    Human arent perfect and annoucing you joy don’t but other parents who had a tough road.

  2. Karina
    November 22, 2011 | 12:52 pm

    Love this post!

  3. Nas
    November 22, 2011 | 12:57 pm

    I love your comment about TV…lmao. We have a TV so big you can practically see it when you walk up the sidewalk to our house…I guess my kid won’t be as smart as she could have been!

  4. GH
    November 22, 2011 | 1:26 pm

    A recent favorite complaint: My child is head and shoulders above her peers in everything, but the evil school system won’t let me push her ahead a year in school.

  5. Monica Sakala
    November 22, 2011 | 1:49 pm

    It’s WM here – I am LOVING these comments and might need to do a follow-up post to include these excellent additions!!

  6. Cori
    November 22, 2011 | 2:33 pm

    I cackled my way through this list. Love it!

  7. No Drama Mama
    November 22, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    I really, really hate it when parents of newborns think they know how I should handle my toddler, even though they have never experienced it themselves. No, my toddler will not sit still for more than 15 minutes; yes, my toddler really does believe the wrong sippy cup is the endo of all things good in the world; yes, she does think hopping is a much better mode of transportation than walking or running. Do not compare your newborn to my two-year-old!

  8. Bridget
    November 22, 2011 | 5:42 pm

    I agree with just about all of this…except for #3. I was that guy. You know why? Because I vomited my brains out for the first 5 months of my pregnancy. Believe me, I was not happy to lose weightt – I was terrified. They almost hospitalized me. It sucked. So when someone says that, have mercy. Maybe they have a good reason! Otherwise, love the post!

  9. Anastasia
    November 29, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    I Love this post it is so true! My other fav is the parents that claim that their 2 year olds can read, RIGHT, my daughter can read the hungry catapillar too but it is only because I have read it to her about a thousand times.

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