Twitterizing the News, Secrets & Brattle

I don’t  know about you but I am in love with this new page that’s appeared recently in the Sunday NYT Magazine…in the first few pages of the magazine. I think of it as the Twitterizing of the News of the week.  They crammed over a dozen snippets of news onto one page along with some excellent visual aides and in one page, I can learn a little bit about a lot. It’s like Twitter for a fancy news magazine. Sure, some wonky types might object to the Twitterization of the news but for a gal like me, who tends to fall asleep about 1.786 pages into anything, no matter how riveting the topic, it’s perfect.

So as I was perusing Sunday’s magazine last night, before falling asleep, I stumbled upon two news blurbs on this page that I LOVED. Frankly,  if the exhaustion from a 3-year-old who balks at sleeping past 4am weren’t crushing down on my brilliant mind and totally telegenic night-time face, I would  have rushed to the computer to update you all immediately on this important news.

Secrets don't make friends...unless your nails look this amazing when telling them

First up, in case you didn’t know this, us women LOVE to tell secrets.

Who moi? she asks innocently…..

C’est vrai.

I’m going to venture to guess that really anyone who blogs pretty much sucks at keeping a secret. But it’s not just bloggers. According to a survey of 3,000 women on the average time of betrayal before sharing someone’s closely guarded and important secret – you tell me what it is. Is the average betrayal time (I am taking this from the NYT Magazine):

a. Never

b. 32 years

c. 32 minutes

Come on smarty-pants loud mouths…..this is way easier than the SATs…..we all know the answer is…drumroll….C. Isn’t it ALWAYS C?

Frankly, I wondered why 32 seconds isn’t on there because that might be about right depending on just how juicy the gossip  secret is. Bottom line, the amount of time Dora pauses after asking which path to take is too much time wasted before blabbing a secret in most people’s books.

Don’t you love it? Isn’t the NYT Twitterization of news just grand?

Next up, I learned a new word: BRATTLE. It is a verb. I am guilty of “Brattling” all the damn time. To Brattle is to “discuss one’s children, often at length. So as you head into the hectic holiday cocktail party season, I suppose we’re all supposed to check our Brattling at the door and stick with just looking super fly in our cocktail outfits? Other new suggested words: spamily – Facebook or Twitter updates about kids – ahem – also guilty. And finally, spawntourage: a group of approaching strollers.

Typically I struggle with tone but even I can guess that others don’t view a “spawntourage” lovingly.

I suppose I don’t care but I am bratty enough to love these new totally anti-parents words.

Go off and brattle, spew your spamily but just don’t do it while power walking with your spawntourage. Instead, be sure to tell your spawntourage all those cool secrets you just learned and vowed you’d take to the grave……

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