Bubbles. Public Enemy #1. We flock to the bubbles in the spring, we fill their Easter Baskets, we buy the multi-gallon sized refill bubbles container. Ahh..the bottle of sunshine and memories. Or is it? It always backfires.
When “I DO IT MYSELF” meets that wand, whether it be a small wand you blow through, a large wand you can wave around, it doesn’t matter, it ends in an epic battle of savage v. clear liquid where the only victim left bloodless and weeping on the ground is the parent.
They can’t do it themselves. Why do we think otherwise?
They can’t help but dump all the liquid all over the ground.
They won’t let the parental units calmly blow the bubbles. And it never happens fast enough.
I curse the day when bubbles appear. The happy packaging makes such promise of creating memories not nightmares.
Exhibit B – sticker books:
What could go wrong with happy dancing dinosaurs? A perfect project for moi and “I DO IT MYSELF” to work on together as I assist older Miss WM with her homework.
Ahh…naive parent…how easily we forget that happy dancing dinosaurs quickly devolve because these stickers can not be removed easily by the not-so-nimble fingers of the “I DO IT MYSELF” crowd. Those curvy tails, those long thin windy necks – how easily they rip and tear when being removed from the sticker page. Imperfection need not ever apply when “I DO IT MYSELF” attempts a project. How quickly dinosaur bliss becomes “IT IS RUINED”
“I CAN’T DO THIS”
“NO! NO! NO! I DO IT MYSELF” when the adult human attempts to assist and quell said crisis. How dare a sligthly ripped T-Rex neck ever show its face on said sticker book pages. Unacceptable.
I am left defeated, drained, seeking refuge in a safe house where the “I DO IT MYSELF” crowd can never find moi, tricking moi with her sweet smile, pudgy wrists and ever-dirty face.
These items are not the exclusive items for this parental torture device list. Other such items could include: juice box straws wrapped in plastic packaging, inserting juice box straws into juice boxes without prior permission, opening apple sauce squeezer containers or my personal favorite – opening the front door. What would you like to add to this ever-long list?
Ahh, the joys. “Like” the WM Facebook page to keep up with any other offending parental torture devices.