First Summer Home with 2 kids: Sink or Swim?

Spoiler Alert! I sank. I didn’t even have a chance. I was drowning, I was gasping for air, I hated that summer. DD1 was 3.5 and horrible. DD2 was 6 months old and suddenly gained her mobility and morphed from sweet drooling baby into Godzilla, a super human creature who’s only purpose in life was to mercilessly terrorize every Little People village her sister had carefully arranged, chew on each book her sister wanted to read and destroy any block tower that might have just been assembled. It was war. I lost every battle.  And to boot, one of life’s great unsolved mysteries emerged: exactly how does a 6 month old crawl so quickly and why are they magnets for elder sibling’s toys? So I headed into the next summer with a whole new plan, armed with tactics, prepared to win and enjoy the summer. This battle worn soldier couldn’t lose again.

#notwinning

Summer 2 home with the kids: Life vest

Spoiler Alert: my life vest mocked me. All summer long.

This time I boarded the ship prepared. My life jacket purchased in the form of 4 beautiful words: CAMP. Lots and lots of CAMP. But see, what I failed to anticipate was that much changes in one year of the lives of these little people. My wounds were still open and fresh but the children had moved on. How could I fail to realize that Godzilla can’t really survive for one year with an older sibling? Think of the eldest like a lion tamer: breaking the beast, taming the savage soul and maybe assaulting them a few times. Godzilla morphs into a different kind of species when she is 18 months old. True, a child headed straight for the 2s is still part-human, part-beast but at least they have more control over their motor skills when lingering around block towers. And the eldest is more adept at handling younger sibling assault on their world. Another lesson for me:  3.5 year olds don’t stay that miserable argumentative nasty way forever and as it turns out, at least chez moi, 4.5 year olds are fun and fabulous companions. So there I had shipped her off to various weekly camps only for me and DD2 to look at each other, and wonder where our playmate was, especially DD2. I had naively shipped off the companion who kept the 18 month old entertained, busy and tired her out for naps. I PAID to send away our buddy. What the? My life vest deflated. I was beat again. When will I not suck at anticipating how to manage for a great summer home?

#definitelynotbiwinning

Summer 3 home with the kids: Lifeguard

And so begins summer 3 home with the kids. We’re off to a good start, we are miraculously diaper free chez moi, they are now 2.5 and 5.5 (have you seen the new spring in my step as I bypass the diaper aisle at Target with an extra $20 to blow on something dumb?) and after my steep learning curves the past two summers, dare I say I am heading into this summer with an all new plan: the pool. We are super camp light and planning on lots of pool time. But will I fail to anticipate again? So far, I have a huge ding against me because DH is headed off to a new job that puts him in San Fran 4 days of every week through the summer. I wasn’t counting on that when I signed them up for basically no camps this summer . . .Will I sink or swim this year? Stay tuned, you know you’ll be hearing about it.

#winning?

Until then, let’s cover what accessories  a gal needs to survive the summer.

The first is the appropriate pool or beach bag and that bag is the Scout bag. This bag changed my pool/beach experience because it’s stylish and has 6 pockets around the outside of the bag. Never has it been so easy to store sunglasses, iPhone, camera, sun block, kid’s trash,  snacks, water bottles and actually FIND these things with ease. Naturally the bag was created by a local DC mother who has 4 kids, so it’s no wonder it’s a miracle worker.

Speaking of miracle workers, what I need is the right swimsuit. I tend to go for halters but is this really a good idea when children are climbing all over you and creating multiple chances for a wardrobe malfunction on any given day? My youngest likes to shove her pool toys down the suit as if it’s her own personal pocket.  Does style need to be compromised in favor of practicality? Have you found the perfect swimsuit that is stylish but functional? I’m desperate here, friends. Speak up. Links encouraged.

And my final summer survival necessity for those of you who are beach bound but don’t live steps from the beach: the Wonder Wheeler Deluxe (WWD). The minivan of beach carts, this thing screams dork, flashes parenthood in bright lights, earns you mockery from teens for being  lame, but when a beach trip heads south (and really, how often do they not), you can toss all your gear and chairs and umbrellas into this thing (and sometimes I think a few kids) and clear the beach in record time.

So with that, what are your plans for summer survival? And did you find a great suit? Let me know.

Is it winter, minus the bad hair part? Oh and the heat. Because I sure am feeling the similarities…..we are stuck inside because the weather is too horrible to go outside, we are getting sick of indoor activities, and we are getting really CRANKY.

I’ve also decided my blog is aptly named…not because I’m all hip and tech savvy and cool but because my hair has looked like a lion’s mane every day since Memorial Day.

But not a brave roaring lion queen.or a sexy pool goddess…instead I look like this.

Is that hot?

I didn’t think so.

Am I alone in longing for fall? The crisp mornings, the warm afternoons, the cords, the fabulous fall sweaters, I’d even happily rake  leaves right now if it were only October. I am beyond living in the moment, I am officially over summer 2010.

I am certain that come Fall 2010, my hair will look like this and my children will be seen acting only like this.
Are you with me?

Reads a coin purse a good friend gave to me. It is a motto that I take seriously. Until I realized, DD2 turns 1 later this month, DD1 turns 4 in about a week, and I haven’t purchased a new pair of shoes in ONE YEAR.

GASP.

Is this a national emergency? A fashion crisis of epic proportions?

I think it most certainly is. Or was, as the case may be.

Not only is it criminal how long it’s been since I purchased a new pair of shoes, it is even more critical because during this past year, I’ve transitioned from working full-time to staying home. Of course this dramatic change in wardrobe comes with a dramatic style shift. And the problem is that I’ve built up a fabulous work wardrobe over the past 12+ years but invested really nothing in casual wear.

And while I didn’t notice it along the way, it turns out that I have a flair for heels. I have a closet chock full of fabulous heels for every season, in all kinds of colors, patterns, heel styles. Plaid? Got them. Mules? Plenty. Open toes with platform? Which color you want? Leopard print heels? How many you need?

But practical flats? Apparently they never really fell on my radar screen as a working gal.  What does it say about you when you notice you are a heels or a flats gal? And what do you do when your lifestyle forces a change from being a heels gal to a flats gal?

So while my fabulous heels are collecting dust and quietly call out to me – begging me to grace my feet with them – they just aren’t practical for me anymore. I need quick on, quick off. I thought lathering up two squirmy kids with sunblock was a pain all summer long. It’s nothing on bundling up two kids in coats, hats, socks and shoes while they protest and scream and throw fits the whole time. It usually takes me at least 20 mins, and ends with me red faced, sweaty, and supremely annoyed. But I am determined to get outside with them as much as possible.

So once I’ve accomplished this enormous and nobel peace prize winning feat- properly dressing two kids for cold weather – there is no time for shoes that take time (laces, zippers, forget it).  And of course, I also need shoes that are practical for long walks pushing 2 kids in stroller (you’re looking at about 70 combined pounds), stomping through leaves, random rain showers, etc.

So the question of practicality and comfort comes into play and complicates everything.

Yet I refuse to dress frumpy and lacking in style every day. It’s true. I LOVE seeing ambush makeovers on the Today Show – but I just don’t understand how anyone has an excuse to let themselves go and not get a haircut in 10 years. There’s no excuse. So, being one year behind in purchasing shoes and having no appropriately stylish stay-at-home mom shoes, I peeled into the Nordstrom half-yearly sale as fast as my tires could burn rubber turning the corner.

My list of requirements was long but I was determined and committed to the goal: stylish and practical shoes.

First, I considered Uggs. I have never been drawn to them and always felt they were over priced but figured, if I’ll be wearing them every day, maybe they are the perfect shoe for me – easy on and off, no heel, not sneakers, but still stylish.  Or at least popular.

So I tried them on.

And immediately started sweating. Before I tried to properly dress two squirming insane red heads.

The Uggs were then immediately ruled out. Perhaps if I lived in a colder climate but it doesn’t get that cold here and there is no way I can walk around sweating my ass off. It’s bad enough my hair is butt and I am red faced and sweaty all summer long  – I don’t need my shoes doing that to me all winter. We’ll leave that to my kids doing that to me.

So I moved on.

I tore through the sale wracks at Nordstrom and I didn’t even really clean up after myself. I was a gal on a mission.

And it was truly love at first sight.  Drumroll please……..

For the cooler fall and winter days, I came away with these practical yet still stylish boots.  They come on and off easily, there is no zipper, and I can easily wear them under or over pants.

For the not as cool days, I came away with these fabulous and super comfortable flats. They hug my feet so perfectly, I honestly feel like I am walking in slippers.

And the bottom line is this – add a scarf or a piece of jewelry and with the right shoes, any outfit can go from lame and boring, to stylish and cute. It’s all about the accessories.

There you go, if the shoe fits, buy it.

I devoured some magazines and read up as much as possible online about what is HOT this season….and I can tell you that I like some of what I am seeing but not all.

Here is a quick review of the 10 most popular - in no particular order beyond how it enters my brilliant mind:

1. Open-toed shoes with tights

2. Ruffled shirts

3. Over-the-knee boots if you are at least 5’6 (I triple dog dare you to wear the Christian Louboutin ones in the link)

4. NEON colors…and of course…..anything in purple

5. Boyfriend Blazer

6. Sweater dresses - add in a chunky belt

7. Sweaters with a belt over them - be it a thin belt or a chunky belt

8. Layered necklaces

9. Flats with studs

10. Motorcycle leather jacket

You will notice I didn’t include two links – one for the open-toed shoes with tights and the other for the boyfriend blazer. I just gave up trying to find the link for the shoes and tights but saw it all over mags…..and I hate the boyfriend blazer-boyfriend jeans trend – so I refuse to perpetuate it with links.

I really can’t pull off the ruffled shirt trend. Some people can and I don’t mind it as a style – I just feel like I look like Seinfeld when he wore that Pirate ruffled shirt – remember that episode?

I am lukewarm on the studded flat trend. Truth is, I am content with the flats I already own, and though we’ve established that I am a gal who loves to need things – NEED them – I’m just not sure I am going to pull the trigger on studded flats. Time will tell.

You won’t catch me dead in over the knee boots….though staying home with two kids makes that trend completely useless to me even if I could pull off the look.

I am pretty sure transitioning to fall is the most favorite season for most of us, there is something so refreshing about putting on a warm sweater or cruising around town in a skirt and tights. For me, one of the hardest parts about fall fashion is the reality that it typically doesn’t feel like fall in DC until more like November…it’s torture waiting.  I am most in love with the belted sweater and sweater dress look this fall…….and always love tights and skirts.

http://popsugar.com/gallery/520921?page=0,1,0

And why is her mother wearing a sweater and trench coat while Suri is wearing a tank top dress?

And as if the New Kids on the Block Summer Reunion tour weren’t enough for all of us…why…why…why….is this model wearing tight-rolled jeans???

http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/product.jhtml?id=prod87573171&catId=cat90230

Oh – and finally – just when I really thought I couldn’t be surprised by ANYTHING – I learned of this company B.Y.O.G.

That would be “Bring Your Own Gown”

But not so fast, kittens, not the kind of gown you are thinking of – this time we’re talking about DELIVERY GOWN.

You got it. Apparently two women cooked up the idea to create stylish – and here’s the kicker – REUSABLE – gowns for delivery, so you can avoid the drab generic one the hospital provides. Turns out Jessica Alba plans to B.Y.O.G. for her big day.

SO just when I thought two-year olds with bottles and tight rolled jeans was confusing…it turns out someone out there thinks they want to WEAR AGAIN the gown they delivered a child in????

Huh?

http://www.shopbyog.com/products.html

I am, for once, speechless.

I’m so sorry that I’ve been MIA the past week or so. Work has been eating up all my time, sadly. But today is my birthday…and though I don’t look a day over 23, I’m 33 today. I like this number, I feel good about this number. It has a good ring to it. Good things will happen in this 33rd year. But, really, the best way for me to start off a new year is to have a few rants. I mean – what gal doesn’t feel better when she gets a few things off her chest?

With that, I would first like to complain about the DVR. I believe the DVR is ruining my life.

Why? You ask.

Well, let me tell you.

As you know if you are blessed (and cursed) with this technology in your home, if you just tuned out, you can rewind.

Get caught up in your thoughts, debating the pros and cons of a skinny cow vs. quart of ben and jerry’s for dessert? Then realize you missed a few crucial minutes of “Lost” – ok, then, rewind.

Get caught up reading “Star” or “In Touch” – rewind, fast forward, whatever you want, you can control what you know when your mind wanders into the deep territories of food, celeb gossip and spring fashion, as mine does.

Always a deep thought going on here in KT.

But see, the trouble is, you can’t rewind or pause anything else in your life, as I’ve learned.

So suddenly you realize your husband is 15 minutes into telling you something really important about his day and while your important thoughts on “did i really put enough cheese on top of that burrito? and do we have enough in case i want more?” – are also valid – well – you can’t pause or rewind your husband.

Or better yet, fast forward to the end bit about work and get back to important matters.

HA!

So this plays out in my life frequently, it seems. I can’t rewind a work convo, I can’t rewind the radio, I can’t pause, I am just, well, screwed.

And I blame the DVR. The DVR is enhancing my adult ADD. What is a gal to do?

Fortunately, nodding reassuringly along with a few “Oh, definitely” and “absolutely you should be fired up about that” have helped me skate through thus far. But things aren’t looking good…we all know I’m not getting any younger…and my DVR isn’t going anywhere….so this predicament is bound to just get worse. I really can’t be held responsible for it. I blame the DVR.

My second rant is against sidewalks in Washington, DC. Perhaps all over this country. I am most familiar with sidewalks in Washington DC.

I think it’s time for some women to get involved in the planning and execution of the cracks between sidewalks because no one who has ever worn a kitten heel has ever built a DC sidewalk. If they had, they would know that the cracks are just wide enough for your beautiful kitten heel to get caught and torn up. Not to mention the embarrassment of getting caught and trying to walk forward and not going anywhere.

Do I smell a conspiracy?

Are the urban planners in bed with the shoe repairmen in this town?

Is it another example of the Bush administration trying to keep women down and certainly dowdy in practical pumps?

Can I get more of a tax rebate to cover the expense of getting my shoes fixed..or better yet..having to replace them because I look like a poor kid who just graduated from college walking into the office with ripped up heels? What gives, sidewalk maker? Cut a gal a break.

And finally, I am not really ranting against my DD, I am almost proud, though tired. My DD is almost 2.5 years old and her communication skills continue to expand and improve daily. We all know this is a double edged sword. Take, for instance, our doctor’s visit on Friday.

Doctor enters the room, DD immediately tells him she has an owee. He asks her where and she says “Ears.”

I was quite pleased. It was the first time she had communicated so clearly to a doctor what was wrong with her. And it turns out, it was her first ear infection. Fast forward 20 minutes later to the enormous tantrum in the foyer of the doctor’s office and the nurse who ends up helping me because my child refuses to leave or put her coat on. At this moment, why can’t I use the DVR to fast forward my life?

Then progress to the 20 minutes in the parking lot of her telling me she is “not” getting to the “Carseat” because she “wants to sit only on mommy’s lap.”

I mean, I get it. Everyone wants to be close to me but I’m a law abiding citizen, not Britney, so into the car seat she eventually went. Meanwhile I aged 10 years and the parking lot attendant didn’t charge me for parking out of pity, trust me, I could see it in his eyes.

Then came our entrance to the CVS parking lot 15 minutes later. My dread of having to get her out of the carseat to get the prescription to only have to load her back in after the ordeal we just went through only escalated when I opened her car door and she looked at me and said very steadily “I’m not going anywhere.”

Secretly, I loved it. I mean – who does this kid think she is and god love her sass. At least I don’t have some lame door mat of a kid.

But she sure as hell isn’t making anything easy along the way.

With that kittens, I won’t make you wait so long to hear from me again, and please, send all the rest of my gifts to my home, it’s so much trouble having to make so many trips to my car today.

First, let me apologize for my long silence. You know that you are always on my mind but sometimes there are a few hurdles in my way. It seems that with parenthood, I am still learning and re-learning the lesson that the best laid plans are, well, just that. In fact, rarely does something actually play out how you imagine it would.

Example? Well, my darling daughter, husband, parents, nanny and myself were all struck with the horrible Norovirus the week before Christmas (I swear that trip to that hideous Elmo Show with the terrible fight with my husband is the culprit. I swear we picked it up there). If you’ve experienced this drama, well then, you know what kind of hell we endured. I had the best intentions, that week before Christmas. I had so much work to do, I had errands to run during my lunch hour, I had presents to wrap, cookies to make, cards to send, manicure, pedicure and haircut appointments to enjoy, I was a gal with things to do. None of those things included laying on the floor next to the toilet, wishing for death, and thanking God for Elmo who kept my daughter quite distracted while I puked my guts up, hoping someone would come home soon.

So that’s why you didn’t hear from me before Christmas. And I’ve yet to get that manicure, pedicure or haircut.

Then we went to my parent’s house for Christmas and it was fun. Until the night of Christmas Eve. When the Norovirus struck my parent’s house. And tore through me, all three of my sisters and my mom again. You got it. Twice in the span of one week. Fortunately it spared my darling daughter and husband the second time. So, again, that same dreaded lesson reared its ugly head again. I imagined a really fun Christmas day, watching my daughter REALLY enjoy Christmas for the first time, sipping coffee, laughing and joking with my family. I didn’t quite imagine all three bathrooms in the house being occupied with an adult female body laying next to the toilet, wishing for death.

But really, who does imagine that when they think of Christmas?

Probably me next year. I’ll imagine it.

So what’s my point? Well, my first point is that this is largely why you heard nothing from me for so long. My other point is, maybe it’s best not to really internalize the reality that the best laid plans are well, just that, because then you’d walk around being all negative and Debbie Downer for the rest of your life. This is parenthood and life, right? It just sort of happens, whether you like it or not.

Many really sweet things still happened over Christmas. My two-year old was pretty oblivious to the misery and sickness that was happening around her and she still loved Christmas. She graduated from a sweet, innocent request by calling Santa before Christmas and asking him for a “gingerbread house” to calling Santa after Christmas and just saying “Bring presents.”

Now that’s what I’m talking about, a gal who appreciates gifts and knows how to state what she wants.

The other fun thing to discuss is the fact that it’s, well, a new year. I, for one, am opposed to New Years Resolutions. It’s like giving up something for Lent. Haven’t I given up enough already? I mean, what do they say, in the first year of a baby’s life, you lose like a year’s worth of sleep. Need I get into what happens to our bodies from pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. Isn’t that enough?

So instead, I will resolve the following:

1. I resolve to make sure my husband completes all of his assignments on his “to do” list every weekend.

2. I resolve to make sure I am equally, if not, more, pretty and funny by the end of 2008 as I was at the end of 2007.

3. I resolve to still drive like a maniac at the end of each work day and honk and swear and wave my fist at any annoying slow driver who’s delaying my efforts to get home quickly to play with my darling daughter.

4. I resolve to continue to be as dedicated to fashion and shoes and accessories in 2008 as I was in 2007.

5. I resolve to remain steadfast in my commitment to celebrity gossip and spreading it around as fast as I can.

See, kittens, it’s 2008, we’re great…….what else is there to say?

I’ve just been uninspired lately. There’s really nothing going on and nothing has fired me up. These are good things. I seek out an uneventful, drama free life – but it means that I have nothing to rant about on KT. Boring, I know.

I haven’t even had any deep thoughts lately to share with you. Shocking, I know.

As for the world of celebrities and fashion, I’m even moderately bored there. We can wonder, is JLo preggo and if so, is she pregnant with twins? Her fashion choices lately certainly suggest she is pregnant.

http://perezhilton.com/?p=6143

How about Salma having a baby girl – who LOVES the name Valentina? Fabulous. Love it. Fabulous.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/09/salma-hayek-wel.html

Britney’s body guard actually became a heated discussion in my house the other night. We are really smart.

My husband questioned the body guard’s motives and why wouldn’t he reveal these things in private. My counter-point is that there is no way it would be kept private. Britney plays her life out on a public stage for us all to see therefore her divorce and custody battle is a public spectacle and so why would her body guard handle it any differently.

As to his motives – are they really as simple as he is concerned for the children? Is he getting paid? I guess I don’t really care. I predicted a while ago that one of these young Hollywood ladies would end up dead within five years (Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole) and at this rate, it seems that it sadly might be Britney if she doesn’t get the help she needs:  http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20058350,00.html

And then there’s Jenny Garner. She’s all over the press now due to her movie “The Kingdom” and the new play she’s starring in with Kevin Kline. I love her. I consider her my celeb twin in that I think she is a mother much in the way I would be if I were a famous star and had gobs of money, I’d always be at the farmer’s market and park as well. I just like how much she talks about loving motherhood, how fabulous Violet is, how she kept weight on while breastfeeding, she just strikes me as so normal. And again, unlike ridiculous Katie Holmes, she is not dressed for a Vogue fashion shoot whenever we see her out and about with her daughter. For more on Jenny Garner:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297921,00.html

And then how about shoes. You know how I love me some shoes. Well, one of my dear friends sent me a link to some shoes on sale at Nordstrom, which then sucked up like an hour of my time as I perused all the shoes on sale. And I was left feeling in a quandary. I need new boots, we’ve covered that before, but there are so many fabulous summer shoes on sale for practically nothing.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2958229/0~2376788~6002242~6007715~6007726?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6007726&P=3

So – instead of the boots, do I purchase a few pair of fab shoes for next summer at a great deal? I mean, I’m only thinking of my future self here.

And I am always faced with this dilemma. I LOVE starting a new season off with a pair of shoes in my closet that I’ve had tucked away for months and purchased for a great deal.

BUT – will metallic still be in in Summer 08?

How about espadrilles? I mean, if you are tracking the publicity shots of the S&TC girls shooting the movie, it might suggest that the shoes SJP is wearing in this shoot are going to be the summer look of 08:

http://popsugar.com/gallery/138423?page=0,0,18

Or these:

http://popsugar.com/gallery/137190?page=0,0,1

So what does a gal do? Shop now on discount for next summer or focus on this fall? I could purchase under the guise of timeless fashion pieces being added to my wardrobe? I think Tim Gunn would concur.

I’ll love you the most if you say “Do both!”

And finally, while I was looking for links to include, I stumbled up on this news on the disappearance of that little British girl Madeleine:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20058636,00.html

Obviously one of the main concerns when pregnant is the dreaded idea of losing the baby weight. When pregnant, we all suffer from these mis-guided notions that it will just “fall off” and we’ll be back in our pre-pregnancy clothes by the time we’re done with maternity leave. Sure we might not say these things out loud but we think them. We’re not going to be like “that woman” with her wide child-bearing hips and muffin top! Mais non!

But then reality hits and we have this baby and sure, a lot of the weight does just sort of fall off. But then there’s that last 10 pounds or so. And there’s that way your body changes, in particular, that way your hips widen, after you give birth.

But see, there’s more. Then there’s that reality that you are at this baby’s beckon call, every few hours, day and night, feeding her, changing her, bathing her, tending to her, calming her when she’s fussy, that time warp that is new mommy-hood.

Which brings me to celebrity mom’s. Not all are guilty – but some are. And Jamie Pressly is the top of my list. She is back to her pre-baby body a mere 4 months after giving birth and I am not saluting her.

You know why?

Because it’s NOT NORMAL PEOPLE.

How DARE she get on the red carpet and tell the nation that she worked out two hours a day every day around day 10 of her kid’s life? And furthermore, drone on and on about the cabbage soup diet as a cleansing diet?

GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK.

Last I checked, when I had a 10 day old, I was going on minus zero sleep, I had trouble walking around the block, and lord knows the last thing on my mind was hitting the gym. So let’s be clear – if you are working out 2 hours a day with a 10 day old at home, you have a BABY NURSE (or two or three) that is tending to the needs of your child while you get the precious sleep you so badly want, while the rest of us do not. The rest of us are up dealing with and tending to our babies.

So instead of lauding this woman for so swiftly returning to her pre-baby body and holding her up on a pedestal, let’s just stop. OK – because it actually just makes the rest of us feel bad even if we know she’s doing it for her professional career.

And then there’s the cabbage soup cleansing detox diet.

Umm..hello….for those breastfeeding mothers out there, exactly how does that diet benefit the health of them and their children?

So once again, we are sending terrible mixed messages to mother’s out there – the first is that you are a lousy mother who doesn’t care about your child if you don’t breast feed, but the other is that you should be lauded and held on a national pedestal for returning to your fabulous pre-baby body within months and sacrificing and having the discipline to diet and exercise so fastidiously after you’ve birthed this child.

I don’t know about you but it really fires me up. I am so sick and tired of reading about all the praise heaped upon these women for how thin they are post-baby – it is depressing and a kick in the face to the rest of the new mom’s out there who are sleep walking through life.

I’m tired of it.

So first, a new movie is opening in mid-October complete with an all-star cast: Mark Ruffalo (LOVED him as Jenny Garner’s love interest in “13 Going on 30″), Joaquin Phoenix (hot), Mira Sorvino (cool) and Jennifer Connolly (totally my body double). It’s called “Reservation Road” and it just premiered at the Toronto Film Festival:

http://buzzsugar.com/tags/Reservation+Road

The movie has the right ingredients to motivate me to schedule a date night out with beloved husband: hot cast, tragedy, parenthood, drama. I’m totally there.

Also, for you TV junkies out there, the fall season debuts in less than two weeks and more specifically, Grey’s Anatomy premieres two weeks from tonight. If you want to catch a sneak preview, check it out kittens: http://buzzsugar.com/622533

I’m sure I’ll tune into the new Grey’s spin-off, I think it’s called “Private Practice” but I’m not real thrilled about it going into it. I watched the sneak peak episode last season and it really annoyed me how they’ve morphed Dr. Montgomery Shepard’s character. She started off on Grey’s as this very strong-willed, intelligent, successful doctor who happened to cheat on her husband with McSteamy. I think all of us could kind of see how that could happen. I think those were all the reasons we loved her. She’s brilliant, successful, independent but still totally flawed and knows it. We could relate.

But by the time we saw her in the “Private Practice” teaser, they had her tripping over a man, acting like an idiot in an elevator and basically, a desperate, mess of a woman who needs a man. How, pray tell, did that happen? In case you’re not up-to-speed, here’s a link about the new show:

http://www.greysanatomyinsider.com/2007/05/kate-walsh-to-officially-enter-her-own-private-practice-next-fall.html

Moving on, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style is on tonight on Bravo at 10pm:

http://www.bravotv.com/Tim_Gunn/index.php?__source=GGLS|CAMP013TimGunn_Brand|ADGP018TimGunn_GuideStyle|KWRD023tim+gunn+guide+to+style&sky=GGL|CAMP013TimGunn_Brand|ADGP018TimGunn_GuideStyle|KWRD023tim+gunn+guide+to+style

Don’t forget to tune in so we can all be fashion forward this fall.

And finally, how could I possibly end an empty-souless substance-free entry without revisiting Brit-Bot. Oh Brit-bot. How much you’ve changed, how far you’ve gone backwards, how sad your situation is…….our fascination with how she blew it at the VMAs persists, four days later. Frankly, I’m a little perplexed by how into this story I am. Why in the world do I care? But I do. It seems that not only is everyone still wondering why she blew it and what went wrong but people are now fighting about whether she’s fat or not.

Look, I go back to my original thinking – NO! Of course she’s no where near fat and most of us would kill for that body, especially after having two kids. BUT when you build your empire partly around your body and being sexy, when your body doesn’t look like it used too but you wear LESS on stage than you used to, you’re going to get criticized and you deserve it. Look – Brit makes $700,000 A MONTH (I heard that on Access Hollywood) and what, exactly, does she do?

Still feel sorry for her?
I didn’t think so.

I think the two pieces of her disastrous performance on Sunday night that continue to fascinate me are these: First, that she had the gaul to fire Ken Paves before going on stage. Who does she think she is? The woman who shaved her head, fired her hairdresser? Come on now. No wonder she was moving her hair out of her eyes the whole performance: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20056088,00.html

And finally, again on Access Hollywood last night, I learned that KFed hosted a joint first bday party for Jayden James and 2nd bday party for Sean P. at his home that Brit-bot’s MOM attended…but no Brit-bot. Wow. That’s bad. That’s about as bad as it gets. Wild horses couldn’t keep me from my kid’s bday party.

With that kittens, I’ll work on something more thought-provoking next time.