Category Archives: Husbands

Getting Organized With Some Help

“Will you marry me?” I said as I looked at the finished product.

“I get that a lot,” she said. She being Rachel Strisik of Rachel and Company.

“What? How? Who did this?” exclaimed Mr. Wired Momma as his eyes darted around the garage in total disbelief.

We both were like little Lucy Lou from Whoville, eyes starry with wonderment. Only the vision before us wasn’t the Grinch dressed as Santy Claus…the vision before us was:

 

This is the After. Those with weak hearts or small children should avert their eyes from the Before picture.

 

A mere 3.5 hours BEFORE, it looked like this:

Seriously. We are slobs.

 

Now that I’ve given you a peek, let’s back up and start at the beginning.

Mr. Wired Momma is impossible to shop for when it comes to birthdays or holidays. Way back in September, as I was flipping through boards of admirable homes on Pinterest (#NeverAGoodIdea,IsIt?), I stumbled upon an image of a perfectly organized garage and these words stumbled from my mouth:

You Complete Me.

Refresh your memory and look up again at what my garage looked like now that I’ve shamelessly exposed myself. And for full disclosure, I fondly think of it as my Sharage. It’s bigger than a Shed but smaller than any garage I’ve ever seen. Since we moved in back in July, our Sharage became the dumping ground. We had bigger projects to tackle but as I’ve slowly crossed those off the list, the disaster of the Sharage started weighing on my shoulders.

#FirstWorldProblem

But seriously – I knew that if we didn’t tackle the Sharage soon, suddenly five years would pass and the disaster would just continue to grow and become a beast. And there, on Pinterest, was the solution. A perfectly organized garage. I don’t keep the inside of my home in the same state as the Sharage, so why shouldn’t the sharage also be a functional and useful space? One I don’t shut my eyes as I toss the trash in and scurry quickly away? One that I only send Mr. Wired Momma into to find something because I fear a family of fat rats is nesting under the tarps strewn on the floor.

#TrueWorry

But the execution part was the hurdle. Isn’t it always? I mean – who has the time? And where do I begin? And when am I ever going to get Mr. Wired Momma to find the spare time to go to Home Depot and buy the peg boards and then hang them and then actually hang anything on them? And should I keep going? Because this was the process I went through in my head. I had to realistically think through if this project would ever reasonably be completed by us – though we are capable of doing it – before we reach retirement age? Would our children allow us to work uninterrupted for an entire weekend?

I suppose if we SENT THEM AWAY

But if we sent them away — is THAT how we would want to spend our free time?

Is it a complicated place inside my head? Or do you get me? I think you get me. Blame Pinterest for all of it.

Then I remembered the lovely Rachel Strisik, who I interviewed last January for an organization piece, who runs her own home organizing business, Rachel and Company, and I knew she was the answer to my dilemma. So off I went to email Rachel with my secret Sharage Birthday gift idea. This was back in September. She responded promptly and we scheduled a time in October for her to come see the Sharage. During that meeting, she really took her time to ask me questions on what I wanted it to look like, she took measurements, we talked through her ideas and some options, it was fun. Shortly thereafter, she emailed me a drawing of her suggestion on how to organize the Sharage along with several of my very own pins on Pinterest to look through and tell her which options I preferred. As a visual person, I really couldn’t have made much sense out of any of it without those pins.

Now, this won’t surprise you, but I love flashy and big and dramatic and mind blowingly amazing. Does it sparkle and shine? I want it. Does it come in fabulous colors? Make it mine. Can it flash lights? Does it do tricks? Can I live blog it? It must be mine. You get the idea.

BUT this was a gift for Mr. Wired Momma (was it? Or was it for moi, you should be asking yourself). So it being a gift for myself him and him being an accountant and finance guy — he doesn’t like to SPEND money, he likes to SAVE money. But I excel at SPENDING money. But I knew to make it a true gift for him, as much as I LOVED the brightly colored Peg boards and the shapes of the tools spray painted onto the boards so we always could know their rightful home, and the gorgeous work benches, I restrained myself and kept with the economy version of a Sharage project. Rachel was so helpful and creative with how to do a lot and spend very little. The Friday before the big day, she came by with her handyman, Dan, and we talked through final details. Rachel carefully made sure she and the handy man knew who was picking up which item for the project. I didn’t have to go to Home Depot, I didn’t have to go to the Container Store, I didn’t have to do anything. #Bliss

This was quickly becoming the best gift for me Mr. Wired Momma ever. Also noteworthy, Rachel remembered every detail of everything we had previously spoken about, which was extremely useful because I remembered about 20% of it. For example, she knew I needed to pull his tools out of the house,  to create more storage space inside and place them in an organized fashion outside in the Sharage.

The day of the big surprise came, which was last Tuesday, and sure enough Mr. Wired Momma chose that day to linger in front of the house and gossip with our neighbor instead of leaving for work. Rachel’s brilliant handyman spotted him out front and instead sat inside his van, cleverly waiting for him to leave, so as not to spoil the surprise. At this point it was nothing short of a miracle that I hadn’t blabbed the surprise to Mr WM (#BigMouth).

Rachel and Dan emptied out the entire garage, gave me the chance to purge a few things that we really didn’t need and then they quickly got to work. Rachel had everything so well planned out in advance – I couldn’t believe it literally took them under four hours to hang the peg boards, assemble the shelving unit, hang extra hooks, organize what we had, LABEL every container and then put it all back together again. It would have taken me 3.5 months.

Scratch that, probably 3.5 years.

So here’s another BEFORE shot of the Sharage:

 

The Sharage before Rachel

 

The Sharage AFTER Rachel:

It’s kind of hard to believe, right?

 

She removed everything off the ground, she had her handy man hang the peg boards and also he added these pieces of wood with hooks for all the tools:

So simple but yet it never occurred to me.

 

Check out my neatly labeled storage containers. Rachel purchased all of them at the Container Store, where she gets a discount, and she labeled them on the spot.  Have I mentioned how much I adore a person who travels with her own label maker? She’s so great to work with because not only does she lack any kind of judgment of you and the disorganization going on in the space, she is also just practical. She said that with kids especially, it’s difficult to be neat but we can all still be ORGANIZED:

Labeled containers on my new shelving unit

And let’s not forget those tools that were hogging up lots of cabinet space inside my house…now they are outside my house and so very easy to find…..

Rachel herself standing in front of the completed peg board.

In the end, I can tell you that what washed over me was a great sense of relief. Here was this space, now fully functional, organized in a logical and simple manner, and it was DONE. Now comes the part where we maintain it but I’m not worried about that. Overall not only did she do this in an efficient and timely manner, it was an efficient use of my time – of which just like you – I have very little extra time to spare. Rachel and Dan spent about $400 on supplies. Dan Posniewski , who is an excellent handyman, charges an hourly rate of $50. In terms of Rachel’s time, it really depends on the scope of the project, so I would suggest reaching out to her and inquiring — she does a wide variety of home organization projects.  To me, this was money well spent. Even if you don’t have a need or have it in your budget for Rachel to arrive on your doorstep, you can still take advantage of her great tips by hitting “Like” on the Rachel and Company Facebook page or subscribe to her fabulous newsletter, which will then conveniently land her tips into your inbox. I have done both and am glad for it.

But what about the big reveal with Mr. Accountant Wired Momma? Would he even react, I wondered, because this is a man who reacts to very little (which is a nice counter balance to ahem…moi) but sometimes I’d like some reaction. He walked into the Sharage that night and just stood there, dumbfounded, as it all registered. Immediately he asked who did this and why didn’t I add a kegerator and fooseball table for him.

Never once did he ask what I spent.

SUCCESS.

Keep up with the fun by hitting “Like” on the Wired Momma Facebook page. And stay tuned for the next WM book club book announcement…..I was thinking we should schedule our next meeting for January.

 

Choreplay

For today’s entertainment, I am resurrecting an old post that dates back to January 30, 2008….but sometimes an oldie is a goodie…and it keeps with our discussion last week of our Homes Rising up to greet us. Today’s focus is on the husband……

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Today’s entry is for you, American Husband. And the funny thing is, what you are about to read below reflects an exact conversation that took place in my house just on Sunday evening. I looked over and imagine my surprise when I noticed Mr. Wired Momma sitting on the couch, folding laundry – all on his own volition – and even better – pairing socks. I had to splash water on my face and pinch my cheeks a few times.

This is exactly what me and Mr. WM look like. Seriously.

Once I realized it was really happening, I wasn’t having a wet dream, I took the liberty of letting him know that I’d go roll in the hay right then and there – that’s the only kind of foreplay I need.

He scoffed at me. He really didn’t realize I was serious. I even went on to explain that I’ve told him this before and that all husbands seem to miss this memo – despite how glaringly obvious it is – that if they were to take charge with household chores with regularity – they’d get us into bed a lot more frequently.

He really thought this ludicrous. At that point, I gave up. He was looking a gift horse in the mouth. It was like I was speaking in tongues to him.

And then a friend the link to a word in the Urban Dictionary, a site I’d never even heard of until yesterday and now, a marital relations expert in my mind:

1. choreplay
When a woman is turned on by the sight of her husband/boyfriend/partner doing regular household chores, that she would normally be doing. 

“Last night, it was all about choreplay. I was all ‘OH YEAH, fold that laundry. Oh yes, just like that! In half and, then in half again. OHHH'”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=choreplay&defid=2812396

“Like” the Wired  Momma Facebook page to keep up with more marital relations ideas & other such fun

My House. It Doesn’t Rise Up to Greet Me Pleasantly.

I love creating my own Someecards. Photo Credit: Someecards

Oprah says your  home should rise up to greet you.

Maybe my first problem is I don’t know what that means.

Or maybe I don’t especially love what my home says when it greets me.

Or maybe my  problem is I have children.

And what is it that my home should say, when it rises up to greet me? Should it say “Look, mommy, there’s a mouse-hole in the shower!” as my daughter did the other day, when she was pointing to what was actually some mold in the corner of the shower….our cleaning lady kept cancelling on me and I ran out of Clorox to get rid of that bad boy……

So is that what Oprah means about our homes rising up to greet us?

Is it me or is it next to impossible to not have total chaos in the home? Particularly during summer?? And it’s not just children here. Children are rivaled only by the husband.   I know I’m not the only one who finds work socks on the dining room table, for example. And hammers on low window ledges that 19 month olds with gumby arms can reach easily.

I’ve been known to take a collection of dirty, sweaty socks improperly strewn throughout my home and carefully put them between two pillows in bed….the pillows used by Mr. Wired Momma. Unfortunately this does not phase him.

My favorite story on this topic came from my workout instructor, mom to three kids. One fall day, her back door wasn’t shut properly and blew open when she was taking the kids to school and running errands. The alarm went off, the police arrived to the house before she did and said “Ma’am, it looks like this place has been ransacked.”

Sounds about right.

So Oprah’s home might rise up to greet her quite differently than mine. Mine rises up and says “Do others raise children who know discarded food belongs in the trash, not the floor.”

And maybe Stedman puts his socks in the laundry basket.

“Like” Wired Momma on Facebook so we can trash Oprah and talk more about what our homes would actually say if they could greet us.

 

With young kids, is it a “vacation” or is it a job-relocation?

The Wired Momma family is moving next week….just a few miles down the road…but I still have to pack up my entire house and well, get us organized….so please bear with me these next few weeks and know that I’d rather be blogging than say – packing…..so until I have more time…I am bringing you my post from last year after we returned from our family “vacation” in August. In case you  haven’t taken your “vacation” yet this summer…I bring you this…and ask you a deep question: Is it vacation or is it job re-location? You tell me….

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“Mommeeeee…..Mommmmeeeeeeeeeee….I can’t find lion!” whines the voice in my ear. I am dazed. I am confused. I slowly pry each eye open. They are glued shut.

3:54AM reads the time on the clock.

“Mommeeee…..Mommeeeee…..I can’t find the lion” whines the voice again, this time shaking my shoulders.

My mind is starting to wake up. Is this really vacation? I wonder. Who decided that we should have 3 time zones in this country? And did they ever have children when they decided that would be a good idea? Can I meet with them? I could convince them real fast in my exhausted, enraged, mommy maniacal moment that we’re all good with just one time zone, farmers, that includes you.

In my daughter’s defense, she technically slept 24 minutes later than she normally does, if we were still on the east coast. But we’re in California and 3:54AM as a wake-up time for the day is cruel and unusual punishment.

And then, before I have a chance to intercept the inevitable, her whining for the dumb lion awakens her little 2-year-old sister and then all bets are off.

Our vacation day #2 begins at 3:54AM.

The day before it at least didn’t start until 4AM. Why are we regressing?

I threaten and coax and beg and plead but they will not go back to sleep….and I can’t get coffee anywhere for another 2 miserable hours.

Ahh…..vacation.

Just in case you thought that absurd start to the day was the lowest point of our day, think again, that arguably happened when my husband started projectile vomiting down the hall of our nice hotel because he couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough.

Ahh….vacation.

One wonders….when children are involved….is there such thing as vacation? Does it skew our expectations and set us up for disappointment and further frustration when we even label it vacation? Is it fair to actually call it vacation? My friend says it’s not vacation, it’s just job re-location.

I can work with that. I went on a 10 day job re-location and shoved a good time down my kid’s throat while we bled money, what did you do this summer? Surely someone somewhere makes a t-shirt and postcard with that slogan.

Exhibit A...one whining, one feeling sick, one just headed in another direction

Is it worth it? The almost 6 hour plane ride solo with 2 kids should have given me some foresight into the rest of my time relocating my job.

As I lounged by the pool while sick husband and incredibly exhausted jet lagged children napped, I did soak in the beauty of the mountains around me and breathed out my anger at time changes, early wake ups, puking husbands (who constantly fail to use hand sanitizer and then wonder why they get sick) and thought of George Castanza.

Remember SERENITY NOW (I insist that you watch that clip)?

Ahh…yes…..SERENITY NOW suddenly became my vacation, oh sorry, job-relocation mantra. In those dark moments when I am threatening to call Santa if they don’t just stand for one second and smile and fake like they are having a good time so I can capture that special moment on camera for the rest of time, SERENITY NOW is what I am thinking…..

In those moments, I would look around, and swear I was trapped behind some sort of looking-glass because it seemed that all around me were sweet young children lapping up the good times with their parents, behaving perfectly, and enjoying their time away from home. While mine were grumpy and whining and wanting to just go back to the hotel and color and pout. Who were these families with such perfectly behaved children? What was I doing wrong?

So next year, as I naively and gleefully start planning next summer’s job re-location, I’ll need to think back on the reality of what traveling with young children really is….and then I guarantee I’ll convince myself that they are each a full year older and they are better suited for travel, and more adaptable, and better prepared for long plane rides and days touring around new cities because how could I not have birthed children who crave adventure and excitement?

Uh huh.

SERENITY NOW.