Category Archives: Traveling with Kids

With young kids, is it a “vacation” or is it a job-relocation?

The Wired Momma family is moving next week….just a few miles down the road…but I still have to pack up my entire house and well, get us organized….so please bear with me these next few weeks and know that I’d rather be blogging than say – packing…..so until I have more time…I am bringing you my post from last year after we returned from our family “vacation” in August. In case you  haven’t taken your “vacation” yet this summer…I bring you this…and ask you a deep question: Is it vacation or is it job re-location? You tell me….

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“Mommeeeee…..Mommmmeeeeeeeeeee….I can’t find lion!” whines the voice in my ear. I am dazed. I am confused. I slowly pry each eye open. They are glued shut.

3:54AM reads the time on the clock.

“Mommeeee…..Mommeeeee…..I can’t find the lion” whines the voice again, this time shaking my shoulders.

My mind is starting to wake up. Is this really vacation? I wonder. Who decided that we should have 3 time zones in this country? And did they ever have children when they decided that would be a good idea? Can I meet with them? I could convince them real fast in my exhausted, enraged, mommy maniacal moment that we’re all good with just one time zone, farmers, that includes you.

In my daughter’s defense, she technically slept 24 minutes later than she normally does, if we were still on the east coast. But we’re in California and 3:54AM as a wake-up time for the day is cruel and unusual punishment.

And then, before I have a chance to intercept the inevitable, her whining for the dumb lion awakens her little 2-year-old sister and then all bets are off.

Our vacation day #2 begins at 3:54AM.

The day before it at least didn’t start until 4AM. Why are we regressing?

I threaten and coax and beg and plead but they will not go back to sleep….and I can’t get coffee anywhere for another 2 miserable hours.

Ahh…..vacation.

Just in case you thought that absurd start to the day was the lowest point of our day, think again, that arguably happened when my husband started projectile vomiting down the hall of our nice hotel because he couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough.

Ahh….vacation.

One wonders….when children are involved….is there such thing as vacation? Does it skew our expectations and set us up for disappointment and further frustration when we even label it vacation? Is it fair to actually call it vacation? My friend says it’s not vacation, it’s just job re-location.

I can work with that. I went on a 10 day job re-location and shoved a good time down my kid’s throat while we bled money, what did you do this summer? Surely someone somewhere makes a t-shirt and postcard with that slogan.

Exhibit A...one whining, one feeling sick, one just headed in another direction

Is it worth it? The almost 6 hour plane ride solo with 2 kids should have given me some foresight into the rest of my time relocating my job.

As I lounged by the pool while sick husband and incredibly exhausted jet lagged children napped, I did soak in the beauty of the mountains around me and breathed out my anger at time changes, early wake ups, puking husbands (who constantly fail to use hand sanitizer and then wonder why they get sick) and thought of George Castanza.

Remember SERENITY NOW (I insist that you watch that clip)?

Ahh…yes…..SERENITY NOW suddenly became my vacation, oh sorry, job-relocation mantra. In those dark moments when I am threatening to call Santa if they don’t just stand for one second and smile and fake like they are having a good time so I can capture that special moment on camera for the rest of time, SERENITY NOW is what I am thinking…..

In those moments, I would look around, and swear I was trapped behind some sort of looking-glass because it seemed that all around me were sweet young children lapping up the good times with their parents, behaving perfectly, and enjoying their time away from home. While mine were grumpy and whining and wanting to just go back to the hotel and color and pout. Who were these families with such perfectly behaved children? What was I doing wrong?

So next year, as I naively and gleefully start planning next summer’s job re-location, I’ll need to think back on the reality of what traveling with young children really is….and then I guarantee I’ll convince myself that they are each a full year older and they are better suited for travel, and more adaptable, and better prepared for long plane rides and days touring around new cities because how could I not have birthed children who crave adventure and excitement?

Uh huh.

SERENITY NOW.

Kid-Free Restaurants and Planes?

With disgust and horror pasted on their faces, I intently eavesdropped on the conversation between a couple sitting next to us in Lebanese Taverna earlier this spring. These two were aghast over a family sitting behind them who had a baby, I guessed around 10-11 months old. The baby was perfectly well-behaved from my perspective. Beyond being super cute, he wasn’t making a sound and was eating his delicious meal. The trouble is the way babies eat their meals is up for judgment among those who have never had the pleasure of feeding a baby. Obviously this kid was both eating his rice and tossing his rice onto the floor, as any self-respecting baby does. These two near-perfect diners exchanged such comments as “If parents are going to let their  kids eat like that, then they shouldn’t be allowed to bring their children to restaurants.” And “Why doesn’t that mother do something about that kid?”

I couldn’t help but wonder if the flame had gone out in their relationship if the only thing they could talk about was the table manners of this unsuspecting baby. Then again, I was out without children and with my husband and was readily spending my time eaves-dropping on their conversation and shooting them nasty looks, so who was I to judge the state of their relationship? I was better-suited to keep my judgment directed towards their near-perfect existence enabling them to so harshly criticize this poor family. It was everything I had not to lean over and say “I know this will shock you, but you behaved THE SAME WAY when you were a baby.”

The other thing was, this kid was only tossing rice on the floor. When my youngest was that age, she was self-enrolled in the baby food-hurling Olympics and perfected the art of chucking pieces of meat into her dinner companion’s eyes, faces, noses, really anything at her level. We were like clay pigeons in skeet shooting practice for her and she squealed with delight over successfully pegging us with her food. Even I realize that is unacceptable table manners when out in public but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it until she outgrew that delightful phase. But merely tossing rice on the ground? Doesn’t that just come with baby-eating territory? The staff at Lebanese Taverna seemed to barely notice the state of the ground when that family left and cleverly moved another family to that same table – opening the door for this couple to begin judging yet another mother.

And why is it always the mom’s fault?

I must admit, their harsh and ongoing judgment of the families left me incredibly irritated but also wondering – how often have I been judged by others at a restaurant based on how my kids are acting? I work pretty hard at bringing a bag full of supplies to keep the girls entertained throughout the meal, offer rewards for good table manners prior to entering the restaurant (I mock the experts who tell parents not to bribe – have those people ever had kids?) and rarely fully taste my meal or finish a conversation – so it’s not like I’m lounging over a 4-course meal noting the hints of wood and fruit  in my glass of wine while my children are terrorizing other tables.

I might hang this sign all over my own house.

The experience in the spring helped soften my surprise when news broke last week that a restaurant outside Pittsburgh banned children under the age of 6. Even more notable, an online poll on MSNBC accompanying this news indicates that only 3% of survey respondents feel it is patently unfair to ban children from restaurants. Whaaa? 44% of respondents said children should be banned right now and if you are a statistics geek, this is a statistically significant survey because that 44% represents over 42,000 people. Apparently a generous 53% were at least nice enough to respond that it depends on the place.

So are parents of young children, here defined as those 6 and under, universally hated in restaurants beyond inexpensive chains?

To me it’s really about common sense and attentive parenting. Would I bring my children to Citronelle? Of course not – why would I spend an enormous amount of money on a restaurant only to waste it on my kids not eating the food and me not enjoying the experience. Is it respectful to other patrons to bring young children to high-end restaurants?  And does it even make sense? Isn’t that the parent’s call?

I do firmly believe that all parents are responsible for keeping the children quiet and as well-behaved as possible when eating out – but to go so far as to ban them strikes me as unfair and unkind. The trouble is – we’ve all seen other parents out with unruly children running around, shouting, fighting and generally bored while the parents just ignore them – so are those people dragging the rest of us down?

And what about planes? Last summer a survey came out that revealed the majority of respondents believe there should be a family-only section on planes. On some level, I have to wonder if that might offer some relief to the parent whose baby is screaming and there’s nothing that they can do about it – at least they are among company – but again – who’s to say that young children are any worse behaved than obnoxious adults? I’ve seen plenty of them on planes in my time.

One friend suggested we could just start taking this whole concept of banning similar groups to one area a little further. Her thought was – how about we ban all the skinny bitches at the pool to the same section?

Actually, I think if we need to resort to these kinds of boundaries, I’m in favor of how this old guy in North Carolina handles unruly kids – and I can’t say I fully disagree with him – he has a zero tolerance policy for screaming kids. And how does he communicate said policy? With a sign on the front door of his restaurant. OK then – perfect. As a parent, I know the rules. If my kid starts screaming, I leave the restaurant with said child, otherwise have fun and enjoy the meal. I can dig it.

What do you think?

Mid-Summer Sweltering Survival Tips

The dog days are seriously here – and if you are looking for ideas on how to survive – here’s a recap of some of the summer ideas covered here or links to other great DC bloggers who offer some fab tips. Call me a little lazy today because of all the link-love but it’s too hot to think.  And hopefully there’s something for everyone below.

Today’s Topic: Cars, Safety and Kids

A few things have come together to inspire today’s expert topic: cars, safety, technology and kids. First – we need a new car chez moi and we’re engaged in a lively debate over getting an SUV with a third row seat, or not, as we stare down many years of carpooling (our old vehicle is a 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee). Second – because our car is old, it seems to me that technology has changed pretty dramatically in vehicles since our last purchase and I need to learn more about what’s out there. So for today’s installment in the Wired Momma DC Moms expert series I turned to Amy Brink, a friend and attorney, who works for the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, a trade association in DC that represents 12 auto manufacturers. Amy is knee-deep in automotive issues every day, as well as a mom to 2 kids and expecting her third in a few months. So who better to find out what the latest and greatest technology is in vehicles, what the scoop is on saving a few bucks in gas and a few other fun facts for the kids?

Everyone, including Oprah, likes to talk about distracted driving and the importance of not texting while driving. Of course, I am in full agreement and know that my state, Maryland, just this year passed a bill to prohibit texting and driving, or even reading texts while stopped at a red light. But to me, distracted driving is about more than technology  and how we are using it. Frankly, as a mother of 2 young kids, what defines distracted driving in my car is my kids. A trip around the beltway or down the street usually involves kids arguing, instant demands that I retrieve whatever they’ve just dropped and loud fighting over whether we’re listening to the Backyardigans or Little Mermaid soundtrack. To say that I am distracted would be an understatement. Tell me, what kind of new and emerging technologies are auto manufacturers putting in vehicles to help parents stay safe and focused, despite what their kids are doing? 

New model vehicles today are equipped with voice integration systems, so the driver can talk without having to look away from the steering wheel. Additionally, you can talk-to-text, so you can respond to a message without averting your eyes from the road by simply stating a command. Many systems allow you to preset a certain number of different pre-determined text responses like “On the road, be home soon.”  You then can tell the car to respond with that command, we’ll call it command 3, and then you’ve responded without taking your eyes off the road. A recent study found that 80% of all crashes happened because a driver looked away from the road seconds prior to the crash.  Voice recognition is now available in over 90% of models, up from just 70% in 2009.

Also, I’ve found that voice recognition technology keeps the phone out of sight of the kids, which I think is helpful because then when the  kids don’t see it, they don’t want to play with it and they don’t feel like they are competing for my attention. Another newer technology is OnStar. We have OnStar in our vehicle and I will admit, I did put my daughter in one day and then locked the car with the keys inside the vehicle. It was like that episode of Modern Family where Cam locks Lilly into the car, I was totally freaking out. The woman in the shop actually came outside and held an umbrella over the window. Anyhow, OnStar unlocked the doors right away and while I’m confessing things here, would you believe I did it AGAIN – not two minutes later – talk about mommy brain. You have no idea how grateful I was for OnStar.

Loved this scene in Modern Fam of Cam trying to open the car

Finally because your Jeep is a little older, you might not be aware of how many newer models come equipped with a video player in the back seat or satellite radio. The kids can listen to the video with their headphones on and the parents can still carry on a regular conversation.

All of these new features sound fantastic – and I loved that episode of Modern Family. I’ve also been coveting the iPod sync my sister has in her Mini Cooper, especially because I despise listening to the commercials on the radio. As I consider the built-in video players for our next vehicle, I’m torn because it is something I’ve actually ached for when I hit that unexpected traffic jam on the beltway but I can see how there’s likely an issue with setting boundaries and expectations with the kids. What’s your experience on this front? 

Well, as a mom to 2 young kids, I certainly face that battle every day. We’ve worked really hard at setting boundaries with the kids on when they can and can not watch a movie in the car. They know that for the commute to daycare or home, they aren’t going to watch a video, but certainly for longer distances it’s a real treat to have access to it. Just like everything else with them, we try to be consistent so they know what to expect with it, it’s a privilege to watch the movie, not an automatic right.  And for the record, it can be a life-saver in those unexpected Saturday afternoon beltway traffic jams.
 
That makes sense. Now moving on to safety technology and emerging technologies, everyone has heard of anti-lock brakes and electronic stability control. What other types of new safety technologies are automakers installing in vehicles that parents should know about before heading off to the showroom floor?  To me, just the idea of heated or cooled seats seems like wonderful technology.

Well, personally, the blind-spot assist technology has been really wonderful. Basically when another vehicle is in your blind spot, as detected by sensors built into your vehicle, a small light will illuminate in your rearview mirror to let you know. It can be really helpful, again, especially when you are in a rush or the kids are distracting you. In terms of emerging technology, vehicle-t0-vehicle communication is really pretty amazing.  What it means is that vehicles will be able to talk to one another.  For example, say that a monitoring system picks up that all cars are turning on their windshield wipers at mile marker 48, your vehicle can then ready itself for inclement weather and alert you to an upcoming weather front. Or, maybe cars are all suddenly shifting to the far right of a lane – this driver behavior can then alert the city that there’s a pothole in the road. Another example might be when two cars are approaching the same intersection, vehicle-to-vehicle communications can determine that one of the vehicles isn’t preparing to stop – even though they have a stop sign, and can warn the other driver. 

Very cool stuff to look out for. So these are technologies to look for in the future?

There’s lots of cool stuff in the works.  One thing to keep in mind is that car shoppers value safety – so, automakers compete against one another to build cars consumers know are safe.  That means each company is doing lots of research and experimenting with things behind closed doors to beat the competition.  In the end, the consumers win.  In general, though, I think you’re seeing automakers take on the next generation of safety technologies – which are the types of technologies that help a driver avoid a crash in the first place.  Things like lane departure warning and adaptive cruise control are great examples of that.

Until then, off topic, but still fun for families, kids as young as 3 and 4 are learning about the environment and the importance of recycling in preschool. I’ve heard that many parts of the vehicle are recycled, can you give me some fun facts that I can relay to my kids about what’s been recycled in vehicles today?

Sure, they might like to know that old blue jeans are used for trunk liners and carpets inside the cars.

Some sweet 80s jeans as carpet liners, anyone?

 The auto manufacturers also study nature to help learn how to build new technologies into vehicles. For example, one manufacturer is studying locusts because they fly in tight formations and are masters of collision avoidance. So what can we learn from how they locusts travel and avoid collisions, and apply it to safety technology in vehicles? Really interesting stuff.

Final question – gas prices are still pretty high. As we head into the July 4 holiday, long road trips and traffic, do you have any tips on getting the most out of our mileage?

Sure. Before you hit the road, check your tire pressure. Keeping your tires properly inflated can improve your fuel efficiency by almost 3%, which translates into about a tank of gas per year. On distance drives, maintain a steady speed. Most people don’t realize that every 5 mph over 60 mph they are driving is the equivalent to spending an extra 20 cents per gallon on gas. And a third tip that is easy to remember is be sure you tighten your gas cap all the way – you can check your owners manual for specifics on your vehicle but typically you should hear the cap click as you tighten it. A loose gas cap is an easy escape route for gas.

Thank you to Amy for her great advice on autos today. And I’ll keep you all posted on if we end up with a vehicle with a third row seat or not – I’d love to hear from readers who do have an SUV with a third row and if it’s been as used as you expected it would be.