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Category Archives: Work-Life Balance

Thoughts on Work-Life “Balance”

January 24, 2013

As my regular readers know, we spend a great deal of time on my blog talking about work-life “balance.” Yesterday afternoon at 5:30pm eastern, I appeared on Huffington Post LIVE as part of a round-table discussion about work-life “balance.”

Screen grab of me running my mouth on HufffPost Live yesterday

The irony of having to go on TV to talk about the difficulties with balancing work and life — at the worst possible time of day for any parent – DINNER TIME – wasn’t lost on me. And as anyone could have guessed, it wasn’t lost on my extremely grumpy and tired four-year-old. Despite asking her fav teenage babysitter to come over for an hour so I could prepare (read: actually brush my hair and put on some make up) and participate in this interview without screaming, fighting children – it didn’t work out that way. Seconds before the segment was supposed to start, my four-year old’s screams were bouncing through the house and she quickly surmised that I was still home and the only human being on the planet who could fulfill her needs, which obviously had to be fulfilled immediately, were none other than MOMMY.

Our sweet babysitter looked so stressed and worried because she knew her whole reason for being there was well – so that this wouldn’t happen – but isn’t this Murphy’s Law for Parents? I decided instead of being stressed out about it and fretting and worrying that everyone would hear her crying by the door, I just brought her in and put her on my lap. I figured, if they want to have a conversation about work-life balance – well here it is, right?

My little one was actually pretty good and sat quietly through most of the 30 minute segment (sporadically asking me to stop talking to the computer and put on her Cinderella tattoo), meanwhile I was receiving texts from friends who were cracking up that she was totally photobombing the segment. As the main expert was talking about the need to create time for yourself and manage the work-life balance, she actually advised people who work from home to just shut their door.

Ummm…….

Right.

At that moment I had to chime in and point out that I do work from home, and I did shut my door, and I also hired my girls’ favorite teenage babysitter to play with them so I could technically work uninterrupted, and yet, surprise – and I showed anyone who was watching my youngest sitting there on my lap. Beyond that point, you could see the top of her head the entire time. Look – the point is this – the best laid plans rarely work out when you have kids and well, work life balance is elusive for all of us, whether you head into an office full-time, you work from home, you work part-time – it is all difficult – and the technology bleed into our lives feeds into that difficulty. Here’s the link again if you want to watch the piece that ran yesterday.

In order to prepare for the interview, aside from knowing that I actually think work-life “balance” is the entirely wrong way to think about it and instead think of it as work-life choices, I put together a list of some of the most recent conversations we’ve had about the topic – to collect my thoughts. If you’re new to my blog or haven’t yet seen some of these, below is a smattering of some of my favorite posts on the subject matter at hand, which frankly is a challenge we all face and something I could talk about all day long. Marissa Mayer has been one of my most favorite working moms to spark healthy debate around the challenges facing all of us.

Just last week, we talked about the stagnating rate of women in the workforce in America as compared to Europeans, in large part because of our failure to offer federally mandated paid paternity leave or wide-scale support of flexible hours for working parents. If you’re unfamiliar with the progressive laws in Europe designed to protect and help parents with young children or how we stack up in comparison, this piece should shed some light on the topic.

Moving on to the next topic: Ahh…Marissa Mayer….how you keep things interesting for us. In case you missed Mayer’s quip about how having a baby was “Easy”, I discussed it….at length…but brought in a friend who is more balanced than moi to counter point some of my points. The biggest question these conversations tend to spark, beyond is it fair to make Mayer the poster woman for working moms in America, is, is it anti-woman to criticize another working mom, or is it productive and helpful?

Next topic – control. Earlier this fall, a high powered female attorney at the DC law firm Clifford Chance abruptly quit her job via a memo that, from my perspective, was shrill and dripping in martyrdom, detailing the challenges she faces every day managing a demanding career and two small children. This memo spread like wild fire across the internet and again, sparked endless conversations. I believe all of these things are good and helpful because they continue to bring more attention to this simple fact: balancing work and family is hard as hell and none of us are alone in the struggle. That being said, I approached this particular story with the perspective that too many women try to control everything and fail to remember they have a partner in this daily challenge who can, and should, be participating in making it all possible. So read this piece if you find yourself leaving lists for your husband and managing every single thing in the house hold, along with a job, and usually a chip on your shoulder that your husband doesn’t do anything.

As I’ve mentioned before, I could talk about this all day, and well, have been for years. So instead, because you have other things to do, I offer this link to my reaction to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s now famous piece on Mothers Having It All.

In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me on my Facebook page, where we have fun and laugh and talk about more than just work-life balance – but somehow the road leads back there even when I’m not looking for it, usually that road includes a child on my lap interrupting my thoughts…..

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Work-Life Balance, Working Moms

Working Moms: How the US Stacks Up Against Other Developing Countries

January 18, 2013

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about working moms and work-life “balance” and I was quite inspired by some interesting articles this week on this subject. I can’t help but wonder, as the new session of Congress gets underway, stacked with the most women in history, will we see a surge in legislation around issues like work-life balance?

One certainly hopes, yes….right?

Fantastic image of Senator Kristen Gillibrand at the mock swearing-in ceremony with her young son Henry and VP Biden. Photo Credit: Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images

So first up, over in the New York Times, there was a letter to the editor about work-life balance in the US versus in Europe. The author notes that women in many European countries, like England and Germany, don’t opt-out of the work force at the same rate as women in America, in part, because these countries have enacted laws that prohibit employers from reasonably refusing an employee’s request for part-time or non-traditional working hours.

Okay, stop the presses.

Did you know this?

Cause I didn’t.

And I thought I made it a point to keep up with these types of issues.

I had

ABSOLUTELY

NO IDEA

Not only must employers in these countries “seriously consider” these requests but they also must not discriminate against those who ask.

To think I used to get hung up on the endless weeks of maternity leave women in European countries are given – now this? A law protecting them and frankly, almost encouraging them, to seek out alternative work arrangements to help them balance a career and a family?

Seriously.

The author then goes on to explain this: “Legislation modeled after the modest British law and introduced six years ago by Representative Carolyn Maloney, with co-sponsorship by Senators Barack Obama, Edward M. Kennedy and Hillary Rodham Clinton, is stalled in Congress. By increasing access to part-time schedules, the Working Families Flexibility Act would end or diminish the practice of assigning less important work to part-time workers and lessen their career stigma. Full-time workers taking reduced schedules might create jobs for those unemployed.”

Well doesn’t that sound grand? Wouldn’t it be lovely to see the influx of women among the halls of Congress take up the Working Families Flexibility Act in 2013 and generate some more attention around this issue – this issue that is as important to working mothers as it is to working fathers?

The thing is, I had to know more. So I dug up this article from the British press and as it turns out, this law was passed in England in 2002.

You got that right people, 2002….not exactly recently.

Turns out, it was written to help those with young children, here’s a direct quote: “The changes, brought in last April under the Employment Act 2002, gave parents of children under the age of six (or disabled children under the age of 18) the right to have flexible working requests seriously considered.”

So our next question is, were these requests seriously considered or were they just brushed aside? How was this law received by employers? Well, here you go:

“Trade and industry secretary Patricia Hewitt has released figures showing that 77 per cent of employees requesting flexible working were granted it by their employer. She said the new laws had been communicated effectively with 58 per cent of parents who qualify for the rights aware of the legislation….Since April 2003, the number of requests being declined by employers has halved – from 20 per cent to 11 per cent – with women more inclined to ask for greater flexibility.”

And the kicker….the same article notes that England fares poorly compared to neighboring European countries in terms of workplace flexibility arrangements.

Huh?

Are we just the laughing-stock overseas?

And much like some earlier discussions we’ve had about how government mandates in Europe to require more women on corporate boards are what impacts change, not a company’s desire for diversity, it’s hard not to wonder the same here – will it take federal legislation to force a sea of change among our business culture — is that what is necessary to motivate employers to help working parents manage the demands of work and family life?

Meanwhile, over in the Washington Post, I stumbled across this piece that evaluated how the workforce rate of women in the US stagnated from 1990-2010 while it grew exponentially in many other developed countries, like, say Germany and France.

Surprise surprise:
“But on average, other countries have improved at a quicker rate than America. Spain and Italy, in particular, had massive 31.4-point and 17.7-point jumps, and Germany and France also saw double-digit increases in the rate of women’s participation in their workforces. The United States, however, gained only 1.2 points over the 20-year period.What’s the explanation? A new working paper from Francine Blau and Lawrence Kahn, two professors at Cornell University’s labor school, considers how and why the United States lost so much ground. A major factor, the researchers found, is the divergence between the U.S. and other countries’ family leave and other work-life policies, a gap seen back in 1990 that has since widened considerably.”

Here are some other fun facts from the piece that I am inserting directly in case you are too lazy to click on over:

“In 1990, the United States offered no mandated parental leave time, compared with a non-U.S. average of 37.2 weeks. By 2010, the United States was offering 12 weeks’ leave, but the non-U.S. average had leaped to 57.3 weeks. Neither in 1990 nor today did the United States provide public paid leave, while other countries paid, on average, 26.5 percent of previous wages in 1990 and 38 percent today. Blau and Kahn found that about 28 percent to 29 percent of the decline in the American female labor force participation can be explained by the relative stinginess of its family leave and part-time work policies.”

Can you imagine 57.3 weeks of maternity leave?

And how about the disgrace of losing almost 1/3 of the women in the labor force because of our antiquated family leave and part-time work policies? Isn’t this another very strong reason to take up the Working Families Flexibility Act?

The Washington Post article concludes with some perspective on the rate of women in senior positions in the work force and notes that American women are more successful at reaching positions of “authority” than women in other developed countries. So the question is – is it because the women in these other countries are opting for flexible work arrangements at much higher rates than American women – or are there other cultural issues at play here? Let’s not pretend that European countries are perfect. I have friends living overseas right now and the stories of blatant sexism and sexual harassment of working women in professional settings in developed European countries would shock any one of us and get people fired immediately in the U.S.

And ultimately, if the answer is, women in the U.S. are more likely to reach positions of “authority” than women in Europe because more women there are given the chance to work flexible hours – isn’t that simply the trade-off? When we talk about “having it all” — do we mean we want to work part-time and reach the most senior levels of management and raise perfect children? Or do we just want some more time at home and less time at work and we’re willing to accept the consequences?

What do you think? And would you like to see similar legislation brought forward and actually gain traction here in the U.S.? Keep up with the discussion and fun on the Wired Momma Facebook page.

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Work-Life Balance, Working Moms

Marissa Mayer: Damned if she does, Damned if she doesn’t?

December 4, 2012

Late last week was the first we’ve heard from Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer since she had her baby two months ago and between her comments that it’s all she’s going to say and now she’s going back to being silent…and the reaction to her few statements….my guess is this – unfortunately it’s probably going to be a while before she says much about motherhood and managing her career. In case you missed it, and hey, I missed the official confirmation that Princess Kate is actually pregnant, so no one is judging you if you missed it – here’s what Mayer said:

“The baby’s been way easier than everyone made it out to be. I think I’ve been really lucky that way but I had a very easy, healthy pregnancy. He’s been easy. So those have been the two really terrific surprises: the kid has been easier and the job has been fun!” Mayer said.

And if you were wondering, or thought she’d change her mind, she did go back to work after a two-week maternity leave.

So do you have a reaction? Do you wince when you read her happy commentary on her easy baby or do you feel a sisterhood cheer for her that she’s able to have an easy baby and be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company? Do you think her comments do nothing to support working women who struggle to return to work with a NOT easy baby or who are fighting for a longer maternity leave? Or do you think our job as women is to support working women, in particular high-profile ones who at least generate headlines on important issues facing parents in America, no matter if you actually agree with what they are saying?

Look, anyone who regularly reads my blog knows two things about me: I have VERY strong opinions and I believe work-life issues are one of the most important and interesting things to discuss here – so there’s no way I’m not responding to the Mayer comments. However, I made a feeble attempt to post the article link to her few sentences on the WM FB page without offering an opinion, and quickly received very interesting responses from other readers – so we need to dig deeper on this one. And for that, to help balance out this topic, I turned to my friend, Valerie Young, Advocacy Coordinator of the National Association of Mother’s Centers, who blogs on the intersection of motherhood and public policy as Your (Wo)Man in Washington. Valerie’s job focuses on public policy and issues facing working mothers and I’ve noticed on Facebook, in particular, not only does she post extremely interesting article links but she’s always incredibly neutral in comparison to, well, moi. So there couldn’t be a better person to join me in this discussion of Marissa Mayer and her recent public comments.

First, personally, I winced when I read her statement about her easy baby. Those words seem almost incendiary to me and like something a savvy business person doesn’t say…particularly from my perspective as a PR person…..I would think her Communications Department would have prepared her for the importance of every single thing she says on motherhood (well, obviously on anything) and to keep it neutral. I really believe that part of what keeps women glued together in motherhood is a sense of camaraderie, even if you don’t always mean it, and a comment along the lines of “I’m adjusting and I’m lucky to have such great help and support during this time” would have still been positive but to associate the words “easy” with motherhood, particularly in the first two months, is frankly, obnoxious. And allow me to be blunt and take it one step further, especially when you are a woman with tremendous means. There are millions of women struggling to pay bills, who have to go to work or they will lose their jobs or who are single mothers – there is nothing easy for them. But if you are the leader of a Fortune 500 company then you can pay anyone, anything, to help make your transition to motherhood easier and possible. So again, in my opinion, it’s just not helpful or very likeable of her to call it all “Easy.” It also wasn’t savvy.

Now – because I am attempting to show a balance of perspectives here – let’s turn to the fabulous Valerie and get her professional response to this one:

Valerie’s Response: This woman is the CEO of a publicly traded Fortune 500 company – she has rigorous and inescapable legal obligations in that capacity to the corporation and those who have invested in it. In that light, everything she says publicly must convey the message that Yahoo is in good hands and pointed towards profitability.

WM: Okay – Valerie has a very valid point on this one. But I STILL believe her comments could have been worded differently to acknowledge that motherhood is not what we call “easy” or when it is, we credit the many people in our lives who support us to help make that the case. I think part of my beef with Mayer right now is this – whether she likes it or not – she has become the poster woman for young working motherhood in this country. Her appointment as CEO of a Fortune 500 company while pregnant, and this appointment before the age of 40, sent a signal to employers everywhere that motherhood and business can go hand-in-hand – that women can and should be considered for competitive, high-powered and demanding jobs even when they are pregnant or have young children at home. She is breaking glass barriers and yet she seems resistant to it. We have so few female role models who are also young mothers that make headlines and provoke conversations about working motherhood that to be blunt – she just disappoints me. And calling it “easy” didn’t help.

Valerie’s Response: While she is a public figure who first came to mass media attention for being pregnant when she was made CEO, she has not presented herself as a spokesperson for working mothers. Should she make comments about how hard it is being a lactating woman in the corner office, she could send Yahoo stock plummeting – she would then be immediately sued by a multitude of people, including her board, Yahoo investors, and possibly the SEC. She’s not gotten where she is today by making that kind of mistake. Everything you want her to do with her platform is illegal, ill-advised, and would cost her her job and cost Yahoo shareholders money.

Of course, her position and profile is fantastic for those of us who advocate for working mothers, and all mothers – what a contrast between being a CEO with personal staff, an easy delivery and cooperative baby – see how much wealth and resources must be dedicated to allowing this women to excel at work? Does any other woman in this country have the same advantages? Can women individually counter these great disparities? Does public policy have a role to play in removing barriers between parents (mostly mothers who do most of the childcare, still, in this country) and a workplace that allows parents, or others with non-workplace obligations succeed both at work AND in their family life?

WM: Valerie is making a great comment here and one that hadn’t occurred to me – instead of viewing her flippant “easy” remark as obnoxious – she is instead turning it around and saying this calls MORE attention to how much wealth and resources and support is needed to make a career and raising a family possible – and that is a good thing. I agree with her there. Only I worry that employers elsewhere won’t see it that way unless we continue to point that out – which is why I would like to hear Mayer say as much! To me it’s like Angelina Jolie who is masterful at showcasing her children to paparazzi and keeping all her nannies out of sight. She allegedly has one nanny per child. And give me a break, no one thinks she’s out there play dating alone with her children all the time while managing her superstar career and keeping extremely thin and fit and beautiful without a team of helpers – yet she keeps them hidden. Why? I want to hear from more Julie Bowen’s and Amy Poehler’s who publicly thank their nannies and “sister wives” and acknowledge that they need help and support otherwise their careers and their success would not be possible. In case you missed Amy Poehler in particular, here’s what she said at the Time Magazine gala honoring the 100 most influential people:

“Since I have been at this dinner in 2008, I have given birth to two boys and I’ve left “Saturday Night Live” and I started my own TV show, and it’s been a crazy couple of years, and I thought who besides Madam Secretary Clinton and Lorne Michaels have influenced me? And it was the women who helped me take care of my children. It is Jackie Johnson from Trinidad and it is Dawa Chodon from Tibet, who come to my house and help me raise my children. And for you working women who are out there tonight who get to do what you get to do because there are wonderful people who help you at home, I would like to take a moment to thank those people, some of whom are watching their children right now, while you’re at this event. Those are people who love your children as much as you do, and who inspire them and influence them and on behalf of every sister and mother and person who stands in your kitchen and helps you love your child, I say thank you and I celebrate you tonight.”

Now THAT is reality. And given that she noted two nannies, on top of herself and her now ex-husband, that’s four people to help raise two children and make a career possible. THAT, friends, is NOT easy. So now I get off my soap box and turn it back to Valerie.

Valerie’s response: If women in general and mothers, in particular, want to really work for change so having a child doesn’t punish you in your profession, they should concentrate their efforts on organizations like mine and others, educate themselves about what policies could make a difference, then put pressure on their elected representatives to MAKE THESE THINGS HAPPEN. Then having great child care, paid maternity leave, help at home and support at work would be something more parents, and more mothers, could look forward to. Ms. Mayer, I assure you, has a very busy calendar, and will not be doing this work.

WM: Here, here, Valerie. You are exactly right — we must feel compelled to DO something about it. And now with more women in Congress than ever before in January, perhaps 2013 is the time to write your Member of Congress and advocate on behalf of working parents and family friendly public policies if you haven’t done this already. Perhaps we should have Valerie back in the new year to explain and guide us further on HOW to do this? Thoughts? Also, I’d like to address one thing — this common complaint of how women are trashing each other and we should “leave Mayer alone.” I totally disagree with that. This isn’t the Oprah show where everyone gets along and life is grand. I believe that conflict is a GOOD THING. I believe conflict, debates and challenging one another (in productive, not mean-spirited ways) provokes dialogues, it generates headlines, it spurs conversations that can help lead to change and motivate others to act on it. So I do not believe it to be anti-woman and anti-mothers to challenge one another and engage in interesting conversations about these topics.

Thank you to Valerie for her time today and help in sharing a different perspective from my own. I’d love to hear what you think — chime in here or on the ever lively and fun Wired Momma Facebook page (which I hope you’ll Like and share with your friends if you haven’t already done so). Also, be sure to hit “Like” on Valerie’s Facebook page if you’re interested in these topics because like I noted earlier, there’s no one better and faster than her with posting links to great articles.

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Work-Life Balance, Working Moms

Working Mom Hero Awards Continued: Business & Media Titans

August 6, 2012

I spent the last few days in New York City with about 4,000 other bloggers attending the BlogHer12 conference. On the train ride home, in a rare moment of quiet, I started wondering what my blog topics would be this week. I figured I was so exhausted from the conference, I just couldn’t think clearly, because I was drawing a blank.

Then over dinner that night, I relayed so much of the conference to my family, specifically the keynote speakers.

Then I got a good night sleep and woke up still thinking about the keynote speakers. When it hit me like a ton of bricks…girl was tired because OBVIOUSLY I am blogging about Martha Stewart and Katie Couric, two of the keynote speakers at the conference. You know, the ones I keep thinking about and talking about.

Remarkable that it took me a few days to realize it, isn’t it?

#Pathetic

#WineHaze

So, much overdue, today I continued the Wired Momma Working Mom Hero Awards and instead of drumming up lots of articles and interviews with these two women, I will instead relay to you what they spoke about that really struck me over the weekend.

#Fabulous

Martha Stewart rocking the orange pants & wedges at the BlogHer12 Conference

Let’s start with Martha because she spoke on Friday. Look, I went into that lunch knowing that I absolutely respect Martha Stewart but didn’t expect to like her. I came away from it standing in applause, wanting to hear more from her. Over a crowded ballroom lunch with my closest 4,000 friends on Friday, Martha sauntered on stage in beautiful reddish orange pants, a white and beige button down and extremely high orange wedge sandals that matched her orange pants perfectly. She looked chic, stylish and relaxed. Immediately the Twitter-sphere was exploding over her mere presence, which frankly is to be expected when thousands of social media obsessed women gather together.

Fringe details aside, let’s cut to the point, what did I like about Martha? What did she say that resonated with me and has me thinking days later? Here’s what – she repeatedly wove a theme of the need for constant curiosity in life. She said countless times that without curiosity, you lose your creativity. This is a business tycoon who can speak eloquently to the importance of social media to then discussing Japanese knives, floral arrangements and which pregnant staffers will and will not return to work after maternity leave (apparently she has a 100% accurate prediction rate of who will and won’t return after having a baby). There seemed to be no topic she couldn’t discuss with ease and she oozed confidence. When asked what she isn’t good at, she replied, “Only what I haven’t tried yet.”

#LoveHer

She oozes confidence, she’s funny and she is unabashedly curious. It was clear from how she spoke about social media that Martha might run a media empire but she doesn’t rely solely upon staff to handle her personal social media – she is knee deep in social media herself and appreciates its importance to growing her business and brand. In other words, she does not rest on her laurels and she addressed the importance of doing the big picture strategic thinking and the mundane parts of daily life – every day.

What might be mundane in Martha’s life, you might wonder?

She mentioned brushing her horses hair every day, as an example. So while the rest of us might not be in our horse stables every evening brushing our their hair, there are plenty of mundane tasks we do have to do every day (I can think of a few in my day that I’d trade for instead brushing horse hair on a farm in Connecticut. You?)

While I hoped for more questions about getting through the peaks and valleys of her life (oh, I don’t know, doing hard time comes to mind), and unfortunately those didn’t come up (note: the WM Hero Award Recipients all share this in common: they all have faced low dark moments, some failures, and they powered through and rose above), she was asked about balancing career and family. She breezed through that topic fairly quickly but pointed out that her life has seen tremendous business success but her marriage failed. Then I actually thought she was going to cry on stage because it seemed her voice cracked when she noted the failure of her marriage was a difficult year. Then she corrected herself and said “a difficult few years.”

I really do respect brutal honesty above almost anything else.

The other question I really appreciated was what piece of advice her current self would give her 20-something self, if she could. She said “encouragement.” Then she went on to reference that scene in “The Help” when Aibileen, the nanny repeats to the little girl “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” She said this is what we should tell ourselves, those we are mentoring and our children, every day. We all just need encouragement.

And let’s not forget, she repeated the importance of curiosity in cultivating creativity again.

Finally, she commented that the two grandchildren she now has are the best things that ever happened to her. She didn’t leave the stage without demonstrating her business savvy first-hand when she gave all of us a one-year free digital subscription to all four of her magazines (thank you, Martha!) and asked us to visit her up in the Exhibit Hall where she would be staffing the Staples booth displaying her new line of Office products on sale now (I checked them out, they are fabulous).

#Genius.

The ever-chipper Katie Couric at the BlogHer12 Conference

Next, on Saturday, I eagerly arrived early to the lunch to hear Katie Couric. Obviously I knew I would love Katie, I already have seen her speak in real life a few times in the past and looked forward to hearing from her since she’s anchored the evening news and interviewed Sarah Palin.

Katie clearly was savvy enough to accept the invitation to speak because she wanted to promote her new daytime talk show debuting next month. She walked onto stage in a black halter dress and killer camel strappy sandals and opened with “I love the smell of estrogen in the morning!”

The crowd went wild.

It already was a different experience than with Martha. Katie is so skilled at reacting to the audience and engaging the audience. You can’t help but feel like she is your friend and wants to hear from you, she makes it seem so effortless and honestly, it is a tremendous skill.

After giving us an overview of her new show, which frankly I hadn’t thought about before Saturday but does sound like it will be interesting and topical (and she asked Sheryl Crow to write and sing the opening song for her show), she was asked some excellent questions. She spoke candidly about the difficulty of becoming a widow at the age of 41, about losing her sister to pancreatic cancer not long after losing her husband and about the need for more cancer research and funding. She sadly noted that her sister was running for Lt. Governor of Virginia when she fell ill and passed, and her professional dream had been to interview her sister in office. You could still feel her profound sadness and it’s been over a decade since she faced this horrible loss. Her willingness to share with us these personal and dark moments is disarming and something I really respect about her.

She was asked about infamous interview with then-Governor Palin during the 2008 election, specifically how she felt during that interview and she very honestly said you would have to have ice coursing through your veins to not have felt sorry for the Governor during that interview. She said “I just felt bad for her” but she noted she had to ask her the questions she would ask anyone running for the second highest office in the country, notably with the oldest presidential candidate running for his first term.

When asked about the Anne-Marie Slaughter piece on “Having It All,” she noted that the piece started an important conversation but every woman needs to do what is best for her and her family and “move past the BS mommy wars.” The crowd erupted in response to that question. She also elaborated a bit on the “Having It All” subject to raise an important point about the Slaughter piece, which was that women like Slaughter and herself have tremendous help. She spoke about her nanny who was there to do everything that she didn’t have time to do and felt that what we need to discuss more are all the women who can’t afford this level of support and help because most women don’t have “high-class problems.”

When asked “How do you do it all?” her response was “Brian Williams never gets asked that question!” and again the crowd erupted. I have mixed feelings about powerful women objecting to being asked questions on how they manage their career and family when men of the same power don’t get asked such questions. Frankly, I think it’s a legitimate and fair question. I think we ask these women this question because there are so few women that reach such levels of professional success and we ask it because we all spend countless hours complaining, venting, writing and talking about how much more work we do at home than our husbands – so OF COURSE we are going to ask this question of other women.

About her two daughters, Katie noted they are her greatest achievement. And about her amazing figure, specifically her toned legs and biceps, she claims she is inherently lazy but works out in spin classes because it is such an efficient calorie burn, then starts every day ON Weight Watchers and ends every day OFF Weight Watchers.

Again, the crowd erupted in applause and laughter.

In the end, as I think about both keynotes, it was Martha’s words that stuck with me more than Katie’s, despite Katie’s warmth and honesty. But both women are remarkable working moms who have shattered glass ceilings and paved careers and opportunities for the rest of us. And both commented that their children and grandchildren are their greatest accomplishments.

Katie & Martha – I anoint you this week’s Wired Momma Working Mom Hero award recipients and appreciated your time at BlogHer 12.

To keep up with the ever-constant dialogue about work-life choices and all the other fun snark I toss in between, “Like” the Wired Momma community Facebook page.

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Work, Work-Life Balance