Beautiful girl just got vaccinated thanks to the campaign. Photo Credit: UN Foundation

The central theme of the UN Foundation’s campaign is milestones; this basic idea that we all take for granted that children deserve to reach milestones. Living here, we take for granted that our newborns will soon discover their toes, then before we know it, begin to crawl, walk, toss food and throw epic temper tantrums. For millions of women in developing countries, the story is quite different and much of that has to do with the lack of access to childhood vaccines. The Shot@Life campaign reminds us that globally, mothers are the same, in our wish to watch our children pass these milestones and by giving as little as $20, we can help make healthy childhood a possibility for children who otherwise don’t have access to immunizations against diseases like measels, pneumonia, diarrhea and polio. This really moving 1 minute video sums it up. I hope you’ll watch.

Here are some quick facts from the UN Foundation:

• Some moms walk as far as 15 miles to reach life-saving vaccines for their children
• The number of children dying every year from preventable diseases in developing countries is nearly equivalentn to half the children entering Kindergarten in the U.S.
• One child dies every 20 seconds from a disease that could have been prevented by a vaccine.
• “Germs don’t need a passport” – with so many unvaccinated children globally, dieases that have otherwise been eliminated here – like measels – can return.  In fact, at the conference I learned that Europe is seeing an outbreak of measels – I’m talking France and Switzerland.
• For the cost of a week’s worth of coffee, you can give a child a liftetime of immunity from deadly disease.

So what can you do? The Shot@Life campaign is building a movement to empower Americans to advocate for global childhood vaccines. Having grown up overseas, I grew up amazed with how US-focused so many Americans are – few people understood where Jakarta was when we lived there in the 80s and I would watch others’ eyes glaze over when we  mentioned where in the world Jakarta was located. The reality is, much has changed since I grew up overseas and we really are living in a global economy and what happens beyond our borders is relevant to us. If you have interest in supporting this campaign, know that any amount can make a difference:

• $5 protects a child from polio and measels for his lifetime
• $15 pays for vaccines to protect a child from pneumonia and diarrhea, two of the most deadly diseases
• $40 gives two children a lifetime of immunity from pneumonia, diarrhea, polio and measels
• $60 protects three children from these four diseases for life

And, in the end, this campaign is about the mothers as much as it is the children. This idea of taking watching our kids reach their milestones for granted really resonated with me and days later, I can’t stop thinking about it. Look for more from me on this topic down the road!

If you’re new to my blog, please feel free to “Like” the Wired Momma FB page where we talk about anything from the serious to the absurd.

Yummy cupcakes from Wildcard Confections

So back to cupcakes. Yesterday I connected with a new mom and business owner (another thing moi loves – locally owned female run businesses, of course!), Catherine Davis, owner and founder of Wildcard Confections. Catherine’s motto is “Life is short, eat dessert first,” and I couldn’t agree more. Her business is based in Virginia but she ships nationwide..so fret not kittens…even if you are an avid WM fan and you live somewhere way more exotic than the DC area, you can still enroll in this give-away and WIN!!!

Catherine is offering 2 dozen custom decorated cupcakes (a $60 retail value) – you got that right – two dozen cupcakes to one lucky winner! Here’s how you enter to win:

The winner will be selected via random draw on February 17, 2012. To enter all you have to do is send an email to wildcard9@live.com that contains your name, city, state and a phone number. Please reference “Cupcake Giveaway Entry” in the subject line.

Hurry up and enter friends…who doesn’t love cupcakes!! Especially free yummy ones?? And if you’re interested in winning those Disney on Ice tickets, you have only a few days left to enter to win, just “Like” and comment on my WM Facebook page.

NBC 4's Eun Yang with her youngest

How could I chat with her and not sound like a crazy stalker, I worried, because I have this flawed sense of knowing her just because I watch her on TV, including watching her through some of her pregnancies, wondering what it felt like to have to show the DC metro-area every day just how much bigger you were growing. Fortunately, she was as warm and open during our interview as she seems on TV, (not helping my attempt at playing it cool and having to keep reminding myself that we aren’t BFFs)  so if you, too, have ever wondered how she doesn’t look exhausted, how she manages a demanding job with 3 young kids or what it’s like to endure 3 pregnancies in front of a camera, read on. Her recession-proof trade secret in reducing under-eye puffiness will surprise you, as much as her candor on pumping in strange places.

First, some background. Eun is one of those elusive true Washingtonians, hailing from Silver Spring. She has 2 boys and one girl, ages 7, 5 and 3 and will celebrate her second anniversary of anchoring NBC 4′s morning news in January. Before earning the anchor job, she worked weekend mornings and reported news on scene. Her husband is from Bethesda and she repeatedly noted how lucky they are to have the help of family so close when they need it, as do many of us, because we all know that when you have two working parents, messy kid stuff happens during business hours and you need help.  Even when your business hours start at 4:30am. I went into our interview prepared with a list of questions but what I found was how easily the conversation flowed to topics that we all dish on every day and I was so impressed with her willingness to openly discuss her challenges as a working mom and the, sometimes, unflattering reality of revealing 9-month girth in front of the camera. With that, let’s jump in.

WM: What is it like being pregnant on camera?

Eun: I worked until the very end with each pregnancy. In fact, with my first child, I was working the night before he was born and around 7pm was joking that because of the scheduling shuffle we were all doing, I was going to go into labor. Sure enough, I went into labor that night. I faced the same challenges we all do with finding professional outfits and would end up wearing the same black outfit almost every day. By the very end of each pregnancy, I really could only wear yoga pants. I gained 60lbs with my youngest. And she was born in the height of the summer, late July, and by then I could only wear flip-flops and was so uncomfortable sitting on set and had to go to the bathroom all the time. Everyone loved to comment on how big I was getting and how huge I looked from the side. The photographers loved to joke that they didn’t want me going into labor in their vehicles. I also ate a lot and that made for great commentary. I really did eat huge cheeseburgers and fries, though.

WM: Did you feel pressure to get back to work after each of your pregnancies, given your demanding field?

Eun: I was really lucky because the station worked with me to make the transition back really seamless. I know so many women just aren’t that lucky. I saved up my vacation time and took 3 months off, I even worked part-time for a few months and nursed each of my kids. The truth is, you never want your kids to be an excuse while you are at work, so when I am at work, I am really centered on the work in front of me, but I am grateful for the family support I have, which helps make it possible.

WM: I talk a lot about work and kids on my blog, I really don’t believe balance is possible and hate the common use of the term. Do you think balancing kids and work is possible?

Eun: I think there is no such thing as balance. We make sacrifices, we might miss some of our kids milestones, and it hurts, but if you have a career, you are going to feel pushed and pulled apart in two different directions. Sometimes time it feels like you just can’t give 100% to either side.  There are times it feels heart-breaking, and especially with 3 kids, I just can’t be there for every single thing. I do my best and my schedule accommodates the fact that I can be there in the afternoon. But I also don’t get any time for myself. Tell me when I can find an hour to go to the gym, I’ve got a pair of pants that have needed to be hemmed for over a year, I just have no time to go to the gym or run errands or grocery shop.

WM: So, you mentioned being really focused when on set, are you able to compartmentalize, so your focus is solely on the job?

Eun: I wouldn’t say I compartmentalize because I think about my kids all the time. Anchors have to really know the stories and pay attention, otherwise we just aren’t effective. So I really have to be present when I am on air but when I am covering stories that affect children, for example, I think about  my kids automatically. I thing being a mother gives me a different perspective and provides another element to my work.  Becoming a mother really changed me and how I cover the news, I can really identify with certain stories in a different way.

WM: Does the news really start at 4:30am, is anyone watching then, and what time do you have to wake up? Honestly, if I am seeing you as early as 5am, it’s because my  kids have me up and then I’m just sorta pissed.

Eun: Yes, the news starts at 4:30am and I think especially in DC, people are up early. We are a busy city and so many people are out the door to work by 7am. So many want to get the news before they head out and start their day. So I wake up at 2:30am, I leave by 3:30am and then am on the air by 4:30am.  I do 2.5 hours of news, then cutins for the Today Show, participate in a morning meeting, then  I contribute to our non-stop news channel, then I get to a mountain of emails and return phone calls. Then I’ll pick up my youngest from preschool and we play and have lunch before we pick up the older two. In a perfect world, if I can get my daughter to cooperate and there is no unexpected drama, I can get a nap in with her before the 3pm school pick up. But as you know, sometimes the stars just don’t align. Sometimes it’s a great day and sometimes it’s a horrible day. I am so lucky to have family here, I just couldn’t do it without family. Our house is so small, we don’t have room for an au pair, so when my husband travels for work, my mom spends the night in our office.

WM: Wow, I would imagine you’d have live-in nannies and night nurses.

Eun: No. Not me. I know some people do. I nursed all of my kids for a year. Fortunately they only needed to nurse at night for a few months. I dragged a pump with me to work and all over the place. I covered the second Bush inauguration and the Obama inauguration and I had to pump in a closet next to Lafayette Park. I’ve pumped in crazy places – random office buildings, in the live-truck van, all over the place.

WM: I love it. I know so many people can relate to dragging the pump around and pumping in really uncomfortable places – but this is a great working mom in DC story – just picturing you covering presidential inaugurations and behind-the-scenes pumping in a closet. So about that 2:30am wake up – especially with high-def TV now – how do you not look exhausted? What is your secret to not having puffy eyes?

Eun: I’ve reached a point in my life where I am willing to pay more for skin care than clothes. I really love Aveeno and Neutrogena products, I use my products in the morning and the evening. I really love GinZing by Origins to take down the puffiness. But I also splash ice-cold water on my face. In the summer, if the faucets can’t get cold enough, then I put ice in a bowl and dunk my whole face in it. That takes down the swelling and the puffiness. I also really like Smashbox Photo Finish, it really smooths out the skin.

WM: I love this recession-proof tip on reducing under eye puffiness – it is fantastic! But everyone is going to want to know – how long do you splash on the water for – or dunk your face in the cold water?

Eun: Haha! In the winter, and most of fall and spring, my pipes are cold enough, that I splash cold water from the faucet on my face at least 10 times, and then a few more time on my eyes for good measure. In the summer, I need ice water in a mixing bowl and do the same thing. If I’m particularly puffy, I’ll dunk my face for a few seconds, about 5 times. You can store your anti-puff anti-black circle eye cream in the fridge too.

WM: Excellent. Now, how about your kids, do they watch you on TV or do they not really care?

Eun: The content of the news is just not really appropriate for young children, so maybe in the last 5 minutes if there is a reason to watch, they  might tune in but they really aren’t impressed. I am just  Mommy to them. It’s especially important for us to be careful about what’s on with my 7-year-old because there’s no speaking around it anymore, now that he spells. It’s harder and harder to have conversations because he’ll ask questions – these kids can really snuff you out.

WM: I totally agree – it’s really important to monitor what is on TV when the kids are around as they get older. I’m always amazed with what my 6-year-old picks up on. So, a friend of mine wanted to ask you how you get to the station when there’s a bad snowstorm – do you drive yourself?

Eun: When it’s really bad, they have designated SUV drivers that will come pick us up. One morning, the roads weren’t plowed and I really didn’t think it was that bad out. Of course my husband was away for work when this happened and we live in an old DC row house with an alley in back. I was trying to get my car out of the alley and I was stuck. I had to wake up my mother who then drove the car while I shoveled the snow at 3am. I will never let my husband live that one down.

WM: Isn’t that how it always happens? They are always away when crazy things happen! I know you’re busy, so can we end with this – have you ever gotten any great advice or do you have any final parting words on balancing kids with a career and being a busy mom?

Eun: I just want to say hats-off to working moms. It is such a tough job and finding time to be your best at home and at work and finding time for ourselves is so hard. I think it’s important to try not to neglect yourself completely and I truly believe it takes a village. Moms need to support each other, I am always looking to step in and help another mom, and pick up something extra to do for the preschool class, for example, because you just never know when you will need the help. I believe that we working moms can do this. That we are strong, capable, smart and we can raise successful children and have successful careers. Yes it is challenging but like everything else we do,  we use our resources and our wits to make it work.

Thank you so much to Eun for her positive parting words and for taking the time to talk so candidly about her own struggles and challenges in being a working mom. I really loved getting a behind-the-scenes peek at what it’s like to be pregnant and be a mom while working in front of the camera. And her budget-friendly tip on reducing eye puffiness is invaluable because if she can wake up at 2:30am 5 days a week, and not look tired, then I guess I better stop complaining and dunk my face in some cold water. For more fun, trashing of the concept of “balance” or really anything else, don’t forget to “Like” the Wired Momma FB page.

For the parents who need camp as daycare all summer long, my advice is to check out the new and free service called CampEasy. This is a free service started by a local mom and her husband. All you have to do is enter in your child’s age , what they like to do, and where you are located and searching for camps, and it pulls up all your options – it’s Camp one-stop-shopping.

Personally, I don’t need camps for the entire summer. In fact, last summer I adopted a very camp-light approach with some trepidation and, in the end, it was a great solution for me and my girls. They were finally old enough to play together and I learned that it makes my life more difficult when the older one is in camp because the younger one misses her. I still think camp is important, however, because everyone needs a break from each other and let’s face it – I’m not setting up the amazing crafting tables and themed weeks that you get from camp.

New to me this year is the camp over at Bethesda’s Kidville. After spending the last few weeks really enjoying the new Rockin’ Railroad Music class with my 3-year-old (I mean, a 4 piece band? Hello! Love it) – I’m intrigued by the themed camps being offered at Kidville for camp this summer.  You can pick from a menu of 2 week, 8 weeks, 12 weeks or a 16 week camp option.  First, for those with very little ones ages 18-24 months, it’s not easy to find summer camp options – but Kidville does offer them even at these young ages. The camps are separation optional for the younger ones (2s and young 3s), so ultimately it’s the parent’s decision when you can drop and roll out immediately. For the older kids: 3s, 4s and 5s, there’s no need to stick around (music to the summer-exhausted parent’s ear).

I’ve always struggled the most with camps in August, when it seems this entire town goes dark, even though the kids don’t start school until Labor Day (or in the case of pre-schools, well after Labor Day). So it’s the late summer camp option at Kidville that particularly appeals to me – the two week session in mid-late August. By then, it seems everyone has grown tired of the pool and it’s just too hot to hang out at the park for very long.  For the theme lovers out there, Kidville Bethesda also offers a one week specialty camp: Fairy Princess Camp or Super Hero Training Camp. Love it.

Bottom line: like it or not, now is the time to nail down the summer camp plans. At least it’s freakishly warm out this week - it makes it all seem a little less ridiculous!

Can't wait to see the new Disney on Ice Show!

Be part of the festivities when Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic arrives at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C., February 15-20! A century of classic and new Disney stars are taking to the ice to share memories, laughs and excitement with you and your family.

100 Years of Magic combines Disney’s most unforgettable stories and enthralling characters. The production features the largest cast ever assembled of lovable Disney stars on ice – from Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket to Stitch, Nemo and the Incredibles – plus exciting moments from Disney’s Mulan and The Lion King.

Audiences will not want to miss beautifully choreographed figure skating to Academy Award®-winning songs “When You Wish Upon a Star,” “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” “Beauty and the Beast,” “Under the Sea,” and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”.

Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Wednesday, February 15 – Monday, February 20, 2012
 
Venue/Ticket Information: Tickets can be purchased at all Ticketmaster outlets via charge, by phone at 800-551-SEAT, via www.ticketmaster.com  and at the Verizon Center box office.
Show Times:
·       Wednesday, February 15th @ 7:30 p.m.
·       Thursday, February 16th @ 10:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m.
·       Friday, February 17th @ 7:30 p.m.
·       Saturday, February 18th @ 11:00 a.m., 2:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
·       Sunday, February 19th @ 12:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.
·       Monday, February 20th @ 12:30 p.m. (President’s Day)
 

Give-Away: I have a family pack of 4 tickets to give-away to one lucky winner. The tickets are for opening night ONLY – Wednesday February 15th at 7:30pm. If you’d like to enter, just “Like” the Wired Momma Facebook page and enter a comment in my post about this give-away, just telling me you’re entering. My daughter will pull the lucky winner’s name on Monday February 6. So hurry up and enter!!

No one does confidence better than Piggy, oui? Oui.

This week for HuffPost, I drafted up the 5 tenets to living a full year of Moi Loves Moi…please check out my “Oui/Non” list of saying goodbye to such boring things like…mommy guilt, diets, fretting about pre-baby bodies, saying “yes” to everything..and other things parents are very guilty of..I hope you’ll enjoy this list as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please read, share, comment!

I recently read the piece in the Washington Post about how boosting self-esteem through praise is back-firing and we are ending up with children who are afraid to take risks or tackle challenges for fear of not coming out on top. Michael Alison Chandler’s piece really struck a chord with me because as I raise my 3-and-6-year-old, I want them to be resourceful, to learn from mistakes, to have courage and take risks. I think taking the safe road is boring. But I also hear myself praising art work that frankly, doesn’t always warrant it. It’s a vicious cycle. So when local parenting coach Meghan Leahy agreed to answer some of my questions, I jumped at the chance. After reading Chandler’s piece, what it left me wishing for was some instruction and guidance on how to raise confident kids who aren’t “praise junkies.” So read on – Leahy’s advice is so good that I am tempted to print some of it out onto notecards and hang it around my house, to serve as reminders for those days when I am too tired to think straight.

Really...do we always need to give out trophies for everything?

WM: First, I realize the Washington Post piece is talking about school-age children and the importance of not showering them with too much empty praise – but where does this begin? As parents, are we guilty of showering too much praise on our really little ones and then it builds from there?

 Schools reflect the larger culture in which they exist in (i.e., when spanking was more common, children were corporally punished in schools, etc.)  So, yes, schools started the praising because parents really felt like their children wanted and needed it to succeed (academically).  Schools also used scientific studies, such as the ones found in behavioral psychology, to show that rewards are more likely to repeat a behavior.  The newer studies are showing, though, that rewards (praise) do not positively affect internal motivation, and in fact, the more praise that is heaped on a person (without any proof, or discussion of progress, or choice allowed on the part of the person being praised), the more that person’s productivity goes down (while the confidence stays high).  This, obviously, is a bit of a disaster for students, especially when we think that these youngsters will be our workforce in the next decade or so.

WM: On some level, it’s hard for me not to wonder if this is a classic example of overly-educated parents worrying about a first-world problem? In other words – who isn’t going to praise a baby for clapping his hands or building a puzzle? Do we actually need to be conscientious of how much we praise babies and toddlers?

 Merriam-Webster defines praise as 1. : to express a favorable judgment of : commend. 2. : to glorify (a god or saint) especially by the attribution of perfections.

So, babies.  Babies young brains require us to talk to them (often), smile, make goo-goo sounds, and exaggerate our facial expressions.  Babies reward us (ha!) with like-sounds and smiles.  They learn to articulate language this way, and also, importantly, read and understand facial expressions.  Literally, crucial brain growth that affects the rest of their emotional lives happens in these interactions…so, is this praise and is it bad?

No.  When we look at the first definition by Merriam-Webster, as parents we are showing favorable judgment!  Babies come out cute and utterly needy, and we must use the voices and faces and clapping to help their brains along. The problem comes when the babies grow quickly into toddlers, preschoolers, and school-age kids.  The needs of the growing brain do not require the clapping and big expressions, but the parents have developed a nasty habit. 

This is where the second definition of praise starts to become a problem.  Glorifying our children, looking for perfections: “the best picture!” “the prettiest girl!” “the fastest boy on the team!” are not growing the brain to cope and recognize feelings.  These statements are based on outcomes, and those outcomes are the best.  There is no discussion of progress or the specific effort required to get to a good outcome.  Hard work?  Practice?  Resilience?  Not mentioned in praise.  You can see praised kids because they are often searching out the adult “okay,” but may still remain apathetic about their product.

WM: This is so interesting. So here’s another question,  as a parent of two young girls, I go out of my way to praise my girls for their intellectual abilities. I’m very aware of the Princess/Disney influence and feel strongly that from the beginning, I am recognizing their smarts and their resourcefulness. How does this apply to what the Post piece laid out in terms of raising praise addicts? The piece points to the importance of not praising kids for basic accomplisments because it encourages them to rest on their laurels instead of challenge themselves.

 The article quotes Dweck, and she writes in “Mindset” that one of the major problems with praise is that it infers that you either “got it or you don’t!”  You are either smart or not, funny or not, sporty or not, arty or not, etc.  She has study after study that show these attributes can be grown in people, but when you praise, who would ever know that?  Since effort is not what is noticed, children box themselves into categories that allow little to no growth, and may not even be true!  And when life deals them a blow, there is nothing there to draw upon.  The children have not been taught to fail and get up, or to even experience discomfort.  They simply cannot believe it and would give up rather than experience the challenge and hard work.

WM: Can you give us advice on other ways to respond to children seeking praise? In other words, a teacher at my daughter’s preschool once said that when they come home with the endless art, to instead ask them what they think of the picture or how it makes them feel – thereby getting around not unncessarily praising them for something that well, isn’t necessarily praise worthy. What sort of advice do you have along those lines?

You can notice children and encourage them without using praise.  Encouragement is what all forms of positive parenting use, because it means to give heart, to bring spirit or hope.  Encouragement focuses on the process, it focuses on the child (not what the adult thinks and judges), and it doesn’t make something “the best!”  So, here are some examples of the differences between praise and encouragement:

Your child brings home a drawing:

Praise:  That is the prettiest picture I have ever seen…I love it!

Encouragement:  I see you used green in this corner, tell me more about that.

Your child makes the basketball team:

Praise:  I knew you could do it; you are the fastest on the team.

Encouragement:  You have practiced hard for this, how does it feel to achieve this goal?

Your child gets all her math homework finished quickly and it is correct:

Praise:  You are so smart in math!

Encouragement:  I have noticed how quickly you worked, show me some of the problems and how you solved them!

Your child loses the track race at school, coming in 3^rd:

Praise:  You are still the best, you just didn’t eat enough breakfast!

Encouragement:  {{hugs from Mom and Dad, and when the child is ready to talk, you can say…}}  I saw someone running hard today.  How do you feel it went?

You will see the obvious difference between praise and encouragement.  Encouragement invites discussion, does not try to solve, and does not glorify the child. Is it okay to celebrate something wonderful child?  Yes, of course.  Praise is like cotton candy, as my former PEP leader and friend Chrisy would say: A little is great and quite enjoyable, but a lot of cotton candy?  Rots your teeth, makes you feel sick, and doesn’t help you grow.

I would argue little of what we praise needs so much celebration.

Brushing teeth, using the toilet, showing kindness, going down a slide, setting the table, helping a little brother…these are acts that should be noticed and grown, but celebrated?  Clapped over?  High-squeaky voices?  No.  Life will not do this for them, therefore, we should encourage these acts, not praise them.

WM: Really great advice – the distinction  makes so much sense. Do you think we are a culture that is raising young kids to be praise addicts? I  know so many people feel that is the case with sports and every kid getting awards and trophies instead of just the few who might really be set apart. How do you break yourself and your kid from the habit of empty praise?

As parents, we have to look ourselves in the mirror and ask: “If my kid is totally average (which they probably are, the bell-curve is the bell-curve for a reason), can I get okay with that?”  You might say, “Yes!” and I still may not believe you.

Our culture looks for results, acceptance, rewards, and outcomes.  I get it, because it is a good way to assess if a business is successful.

But our children are not businesses.  You break the cycle of praise when you realize how much you are robbing from your child when you focus on results.  When you put your child into boxes (yes, even over puzzles), your child is made less than they are.  Beautifully, perfectly average and brimming with potential.

If, as a parent, your children’s wins and losses weigh heavily on your soul, you need to fill your own bucket up. 

Do we protect, love, support, and guide our kids?  Of course.  We don’t allow a three year old to run into the street to “see what happens” because the outcome could be death.  We don’t hand over car keys to 16 year olds without classes and supervision, and simply “hope that works out.”  No.

But if you are running scared as a parent…picking up everything, picking all of the clothes, making all of the food, “remembering” all of the homework, finding all of the library books, running to every try-out (when the kid doesn’t seem to care)…then praise is going to communicate to your child, “You are a product; I am the CEO, but I want you to somehow grow a backbone and be a great kid and adult.”  It just doesn’t work.

We love our children.  We want them to be happy.  We want them to have what we didn’t.  Or have what we did.  Or have something totally different that we read in a book.  Ultimately, though, our kids have to find their own happiness because it is not about us.

WM: You’ve given us so much to think about. To wrapt it up, do you have any age-appropriate guidelines? Again, unless you have ice running through your veins, there’s no way you can not react happily and with praise to babies and young toddlers performing seemingly mundance things. But how do we adjust and alter our praise as the child gets older?

Whenever what you would say sounds like how you would train a dog, stay quiet.  Instead, stop talking so much. Hugs work, for all ages.  Winks, high-fives, and special signs work too. When you have to talk, narrate what is happening.  “I have a baby who is feeding herself!  Look at those hands go!”  Happy?  Yes.  Clapping like a fool in the face of your child?  No.

When you have to speak, notice.  Notice process, notice hard work, and notice the characteristics and values that make up a person who achieves something great.  Notice growth.  “Last week you could not reach the sink, and now you can wash your hands all by yourself.  You are really growing.”

And when something great happens, do something fun!  Go out and celebrate with friends and family…toast each other.  Mention accomplishments and the work that went into it.  Have a sundae party.  Have a sleep-over.  Eat dessert for dinner.  HAVE FUN.  Because when you stop praising and celebrate the REAL accomplishments and work, children remember that.  It actually means something!

Thank you so much to Meghan for giving us such great, practical and useful advice. You can follow Meghan’s blog for more advice or learn more about what services she offers or you can catch her blogs for Discovery here. And of course, be sure to “Like” the WM Facebook page, maybe on there I will explore why I am a chocolate junkie. Will anyone praise me for that?

The Snowy Day...a delightful book & wonderful musical

Peter the Great, played by Alan Wiggins, does an outstanding job of genuinely exuding the youthful thrill over a first snow that only a kid can feel. And what is captured so well by the supporting cast of the musical is how every one of us truly delights in snow, regardless of age, along with watching our children enjoy it for the very first time. Personally, I absolutely loved the bright red snow suit Peter wears, identical to the one in the book, because  its bright color really stands out beautifully against the urban back drop of the set and the magical, glistening snow, who also play a role in the musical. Harold the Snowman, Roberta the Crow and George the Pirate serve as excellent supporting characters to Peter. As the mother of an avid-pirate-loving three-year-old girl, just the pirate hat resting on Peter’s bed before the play even began served as enough to keep her attention but then the actual presence of a “snow pirate” – who even knew there were snow pirates – delighted her more than I can explain.

As the musical continues with Peter playfully experiencing his first snow, he happens upon Harold, the leg-less Snowman determined to get to the North Pole to avoid melting. Peter soon delivered my favorite line of the musical as he explains he can’t travel to the North Pole with Harold because he can’t travel beyond his block, as directed by his mother. The snowman asks “What’s a mom?” and Peter dead pans “Someone you don’t want to mess with.”

Loved it. That’s about right.  Someone you don’t mess with, kids. And husbands….

The two soon embark upon an adventure that at times, feels a bit like the Wizard of Oz, each character challenging their own perceived limitations, as they befriend Roberta, the very colorful and bright Crow. Roberta is trying to head South, though she can’t fly, and Harold needs to head North, though he’s just gotten legs thanks to Peter’s industrious thinking to make them for him. In the end, ironically, it is George the Pirate who helps Harold reach his destination.  The singing and dancing are well choreographed and interspersed in nicely to break up the dialogue and keep the younger kids’ attention. The addition of the snow as a supporting character was a really unexpected, and fitting twist, and is part of a final surprise for the entire audience at the end of the play. I can’t spoil it for you, of course! But rest assured, the children will love it.

Directed by Jessica Burgess with music and lyrics by Howard University’s Darius Smith, this show is the second of Adventure Theatre’s African American Adventures Series, a series of five world-premiere musicals based on the African-American experience written by African-American artists. Tickets are $18 each, with group and field trip rates available, and can be purchased through the box office by calling 301-634-2270 or online at www.adventuretheatre.org.  Children under the age of 1 are free. My three-year-old was very interested in the musical, which lasts just under an hour, though I would be hard pressed to want to bring a child younger than three to see it. My six-year-old asked to go again as soon as we left the theatre.

The Snowy Day just opened this past weekend and runs through February 12, so hurry up and purchase your tickets while they’re still available. Beyond a delightful way to spend an hour, it’s another great indoor activity for these cold winter weekends.

This just in – Adventure Theatre has added the following performances:

Sunday, January 29th at 4:30pm
Friday, February 3rd at 7:00pm
Sunday, February 5th at 4:30pm
Friday, February 10th at 7:00pm
Sunday, February 12th at 4:30pm

Disclosure: Adventure Theatre gifted me the tickets but my opinions here are my own.

In that vein, let’s conclude the Winter Fun Week of ideas with a menu of options to pick from and help you survive the rest of old man winter. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that I owe you that Deep Creek Lake in the Winter post, cause I haven’t forgotten, I just haven’t had time to give it the proper attention it deserves because you know Moi Loves Deep Creek Lake.

Though you'd never know it, she actually was super psyched to meet Clifford

First up, last weekend I had the chance to take the girls to see the new Clifford exhibit at Port Discovery in Baltimore. I haven’t been to Port Discovery in a while and we all had a blast. Apparently my 3-year-old prefers to look like she’s being held prisoner by Clifford instead of smile for the camera, but don’t let her expression deceive you, she loved the new exhibit. I will say it is most appropriate for the little ones, my 6-year-old was like “uh, hmm, no bright lights, no flashing, no spark…moving on”‘ but that’s fine, the exhibit is clearly geared towards the younger ones and has the classic Clifford lessons of good behavior and treating your friends right - woven in. Of course, the rest of Port Discovery is a treat for kids of all ages. I will say I am conflicted over the climbing structure that straddles three floors of the building. On one hand, it’s a great place for kids to burn off some energy. On the other hand, it makes me extremely nervous that they move between floors and I can’t see them easily. Not to mention the inevitable kid hijinks are out of the eye of a discerning adult. Noteworthy, as I voice this concern, I don’t even consider myself a very anxious or nervous parent but something about that climbing structure causes me some angst. It almost feels like it’s best suited for kids ages 8-12 yet  it’s placed inside a venue that’s really meant for younger  kids. Is it me?

Beyond Clifford & the anxiety-ridden-for-moi Climbing Structure, we especially loved the Diner & the adventure zone with the Pharaohs in Ancient Egypt.  As waitresses in the Diner, our girls worked quite hard at serving up some questionable looking food and happily violated every safety and cleanliness code in the country, tossing pie on our plates with their bare (and guarantee germ-infested) hands and serving up pizza after dropping it on the floor and stepping on it a few times. They loved it. Personally, I kept wondering why I don’t have this sign  hanging in my kitchen:

Hilarious

 So in conclusion, whether Clifford is beloved by your children or not, a day at Port Discovery is sure to be a fun-filled day and way to spend a cold winter afternoon. And obviously if your kids have tons of energy to burn, you could hit up the fabulous Baltimore aquarium while you’re there.

Moving on from Charm City, what else is there to do indoors? One friend tipped me off that their favorite go-to spots are Millennium Stage for the free daily performances and the Wilson Pool - which though I haven’t been – does look like a beautiful facility. You know I’m a huge fan of the Chillum Splash Park - also convenient to those who live on the Hill because it’s just past Takoma Park.

On Saturday, in celebration of World Swap Day,  you can uphold your I Am Awesome New Years Resolution and purge your home of things clogging your closets, all for a good cause, by heading to Jonah’s Treehouse (2121 Wisconsin Ave) to participate in the peace. love. swap - The Original Maternity, Baby Kid Clothing & Gear Swap.  Drop off items from 5:00-6:00 and Swap from 6:30-7:30 and admission is ONLY $5 if you register online.  Leftovers go to LOCAL charities and families in need -Goodwill & Northern Virginia Family Services.  You can bring what you aren’t using any more – and take what you need – it’s that simple (books, toys -large and small- clothes, bouncy seats – you name it)!  Get rid of your old, get ‘new to you’,  help those in need, and help the environment.  Since 2009 peace. love. swap. organizers have produced over 130 swap events, donated over 100,000 baby, kid & maternity items to charity, and swapped over 150,000 items. Also, extra perk, one of the items they will be raffling off is a Rockband bundle for the Xbox 360! Moi loves moi. Moi loves cleaning out closets and donating the items to good causes.

And finally, although this is the year of I Am Awesome, this is also, technically, the Year of the Dragon. And kids love the Chinese New Year parades and celebrations.  Monday is the start of the Lunar New Year and a fellow DC blogging friend of mine compiled this totally awesome and very comprehensive list of kid-friendly activities celebrating the Year of the Dragon.

Enjoy these ideas, friends, so that  moi loves moi & moi loves the enfants at the end of winter…which is starting to feel a little too cold…in the meantime, be sure to Like the Wired Momma FB page for more hijinks and amazing ideas…

Seriously, if you didn’t love roller skating as a kid, then maybe we aren’t meant to be. Because I LOVED roller skating. And my sister excelled in the old shooting duck move, like this:

Despite what you might believe, this is actually not my older sister. Though she might want you to think it is.

I was probably a little too chubby – but whatever the case may be – I didn’t perfect the old shooting duck move as a kid. But that doesn’t mean my kids can’t attempt it. So I was super psyched when some friends suggested we take the girls roller skating on MLK Day. The plan was hatched to trek to Odenton, MD (I still don’t really know where that is) for the open skate from 12-2pm, admission only $2 per person. Unfortunately, by the time Monday rolled around, my kids were so burned out from me dragging them to far too many weekend activities that they requested to opt out of skating for a day at home. I could hear my husband’s loud exhalation of relief ripple through the house. Trust me, he was going. It wasn’t an optional outing (recall: never leave your manny at home otherwise you won’t have time to gossip).

When I saw my friends later that evening (note: these are the sister wives from the annual Deep Creek trip who have failed to deliver on their promises of delicious recipes for me to share with my beloved readers), they said the roller skating trip was a huge success. The girls all loved it, the husbands loved it, and we made plans to go again soon. Though I’m pretty sure no one really knows where Odenton is. They said it wasn’t too crowded either, in case you were wondering, seeing as how it was a federal holiday.

When was the last time you went roller skating?? Lucky for you, in case you aren’t willing to trek to Odenton, MD, here’s a link to all the roller skating rinks around the beltway.  And seriously – what a fun activity for the kids – the roller skates aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as the ice skates, the rink isn’t cold, it’s a beloved activity from our childhood and we’re getting them out of the house and sparing ourselves from cabin fever.

Also, noteworthy, I dare you to go dressed like her next time:

Yes..that is Kate Middleton rockin the 80s at the skating rink.

I bet my sister will totally take me up on that challenge to dress like Princess Kate. And speaking of, I googled adult skate because why does winter fun have to be just about the twerps? I stumbled upon a group that took a party bus to adult 80s skate somewhere in Manassas…umm….why aren’t we all doing that? What a great date/night out??  Should I organize it? Who’s in?

For more Winter Fun ideas, gossip & 80s talk, be sure to “like” the super-fab WM FB Page. Otherwise you’re missing out or we could be talking about you.