Washington DC Mommy blogger

Crime Scene….Toddler Style

February 1, 2009

It was the perfect crime scene. An eerie silence descended upon the house…..we knew something was amiss.

My husband was the first to witness it and the image is burned into his memory for all of time.

The first clue was the random piece of clothing on the floor in the hallway…..then our eyes moved up to see the bedroom door was shut. What could possibly be waiting for us behind the door..in the quiet bedroom?

Were we brave enough to open the door and see what awaited us? When toddlers are quiet and awake….it can’t ever be good….

In went DH. He immediately noticed a pair of under ware strewn on the ground.

In another spot, the diaper.

In yet another, lots of poop……with a trail leading to the big girl bed. On the bed was the perp. Her legs covered in poop…her bedding and all 5,000 stuffed animals she insists upon keeping at the foot of her bed….her innocent victims…if only they knew what was caked all over their soft fur, they would wipe those goofy grins off their faces as fast as I can shout “Are you f’ing serious??”

You got it…..the toddler poop scene. Not a sight for the faint of heart and certainly a shitload of work (like that pun?), which anyone who has endured potty training is likely familiar with.

DD was potty trained around the time she turned 2 except with pooping. She has always been private about it and would basically poop at the end of her nap. But things began to escalate after she turned 3. She just didn’t like the feeling of it in her nap time diaper but still didn’t want to do it in front of us…so what would she do? She would create a bona fide poop crime scene for us all over her room…she would immediately remove the soiled diaper and think she was helping us by dumping its contents all over the floor….not realizing that she was transferring all the crap all over her legs and anything she came in contact with along the way. Don’t think this didn’t also include getting all over her hands….and her wall….not just her bedding and her stuffed animals…..

Oh yes…..it was NASTY.

And so you’ve asked about the workload with two and I just keep thinking to myself, babies are nothing on toddlers…the baby isn’t the work…it’s the 3 year old. Sure, I don’t sleep a lot but hell, my 3 year old has trouble sleeping until 6am, so sleep hasn’t been a big thing in our house for a long time. But cleaning up the toddler shit crime scene, for example, is way more work and tedious than dealing with a newborn. So some have pleaded with me not to frighten them too much with tales of handling two…but guess what kittens, it’s too late, because if you don’t have a 3 year old right now..you will soon enough….and then you’ll realize that newborns are freaking easy!

Some good news for you….our toddler crime scenes are fortunately now a thing from the past, and while she does still have the occasional pooping accident at school (what is it about pooping yourself in front of your peers that is so appealing to three-year-olds?), she does poop on the potty now. It seems she had to do it in her own time, in her own way, even if that included tossing her pants in the hallway and shutting her door, as the signal for us that we were about to enter a room filled with shit. Literally.

And a note to you ladies out there….being 38 weeks pregnant or home recovering from childbirth is a great reason to avoid having to clean up the crime scene mess and leave it for your husband to do…I highly recommend that.

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Husbands, Motherhood

When You’re Bored….

January 24, 2009

“When you’re bored, give me a call back,” my sister said to me last night when I told her I couldn’t talk. She called around 6:45pm, I was trying to wrap up dinner for DD1, a feeding for DD2, wondering where the hell DH was, and my mind was drifting towards the two bath times and bed times I wanted to wrap up by 8:30.

Her words really struck me. “When you’re bored..”

Bored.

When was the last time I was bored? More importantly, when in the hell will I find myself bored again?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I was probably plenty bored the last time I was at work, toiling away behind my desk, but setting aside painful meetings and generally lame time spent at work – when was the last time I was bored? When was the last time you were bored? Can’t remember? Didn’t think so.

So while I faked like I was giving full attention to dinner, I began to wonder, when will I be bored again? 10 years from now? hell no…both girls will be teens….I’m sure I’ll be plenty of things, but not bored.

15 years from now?

Maybe.

But how old will I be then?

And can my sister wait 15 years for me to call her back?

HA.

So here I am, kittens, finally back with you…I know you have missed moi as it’s been over two months…and certainly by now you know that I have a beautiful second red-headed daughter who is 8 weeks tomorrow. Time f’ing flies.

And we know we’re not bored (work time excluded).

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if it’s twice as much work. With the first child, everyone seemed to want to know how she slept (crappy compared to this one), with the second, everyone wants to know if it’s twice as much work. Well, only those who don’t have two yet ask that question.

I really can’t answer that question because it seems too hard to quantify but I’ve given it loads of thought because lord knows I wondered as much before the 30th of November when DD2 was born.

We all know I think mobility and certainly talking are over-rated – so I reserve the right to weigh in that it is twice, if not four times, as much work down the road. For now, here are my thoughts – I think that there is like zero down time now. I used to think I didn’t really have down time but as it turns out, with one, you actually probably have more down time than you realize – it’s just relative because you have way LESS down time than you did sans enfants. Well, with two, you realize how much down time you had with just one because suddenly that down time is filled with other things – like changing more diapers or doing way more laundry or nursing or wondering how you haven’t eaten lunch yet at 3pm (yet despite no time for lunch, you still look a few months preggo. Life is cruel).

But at the same time, I love it. I’m definitely not complaining but I am not ready to say it’s double the work yet – it’s just more work. And more fun.

I have way more to say – but this is my precious down time and I’ve got tons of other things to be doing – so more later, kittens. Until then, let’s all just be happy that Bush is finally gone and the beloved Obama family is now occupying 1600 PA Ave. I mean really – did that take long enough or what?

Oh – me and a KT BFF had our picture taken with Ben Affleck and he’s unbelievably hot in person. Holy shit…..and tall. A tall, dark, drink of water….way to go Jenny Garner is what I have to say to her…..

Meow.

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Celebrities, Motherhood, Politics

Our New First Lady

November 12, 2008

I know I am not alone in being completely jazzed about watching Michelle Obama become our First Lady in January….and learning more about the issues that she will take up. She has already communicated her interest in the issues facing working moms/parents. That aside, I also know that I am not alone in getting completely wrapped up in Michelle the woman – what she is wearing – whether or not I like it, etc. For the record, LOVED the red dress she wore to the White House on Monday.

That said, I stumbled upon this piece in Salon and encourage you to read it – it is very interesting. On some things, I think the reporter is being very harsh but it’s what Barack himself writes in one of his books about the choices made by his wife and her struggling between balancing work and motherhood – and his role in that as her husband – that might have interested me the most. Give it a read.

And also kittens, Baby #2 could arrive any day now – so I realize I have been MIA and well – let’s be honest, I’m really going to redefine MIA for a while once she is born – so bear with me. You know I come back to you as soon as I can…..

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/11/12/michelle_obama/index.html

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Motherhood, Politics

Obamas in the House

November 6, 2008

Seriously…I know I have been remiss in posting – I hate when work gets in the way.

So – how about that amazing election night? The outcome? The speech from Obama? The fabulous and adorable First Family up on the stage? I’ve never actually teared up before but man did I tear up hearing what President-Elect Obama had to say. I think we’ve all noticed the almost euphoria erupting from this election – is there anything more I can say about it that is original? Even the international reaction is the same – my parents were part of an all-night election party in the Hague where the Prime Minister of Holland was in attendance, along with Parliament Members. I mean – the fact that this was so internationally followed amazes me. And everyone is joyous.

But how about a few other noteworthy outcomes beyond just the Oval Office.

Can we give a shout-out to the two new female Senators, giving a net gain of one female Senator and the all-time high of now 17 female Senators? Very exciting that Jeanne Shaheen ousted Sununu in New Hampshire and is now the first female Senator representing the state. And really – Kay Hagan defeating Elizabeth Dole is cool. But did Elizabeth even make that hard? Doesn’t seem like it.

And I have to just give a general shout-out to the Old Dominion…bringing home the blue…including a blue governor. Nice work Virginia – I frankly had my doubts and certainly won’t be moving over the bridge from my safe-haven liberal Maryland but at least can no longer mock my sisters for living in a red state.

And speaking of red states, then there’s good old Alaska. As if Palin hasn’t done enough to ruin everyone’s impression of the poor state but then its residents go and re-elect a convicted felon? Huh? Really? They love Uncle Ted that much up there? It is non-sensical to me because we all know the Senate is just going to oust him anyway.

I say this to you Alaska – WTF.

At least Ohio is no longer dead to me. Ohio has been dead to me for so long. But it’s back. Ohio has proven itself worth of some good old KT lovin’ now.

I attended a post-election lunch yesterday where Gwen Ifill and Charlie Cook gave their thoughts. Most of what they said, we’d all heard them say on TV already – but one of them made two points that really stuck with me. I think it was Cook.

The first was just a general observation that Obama campaigned for two years and in that two years – he uttered one wrong word – that was in the off-the-record fundraiser in SF where he commented on people in PA and OH being “bitter.” Look – one mis-step in the span of two years keeping up a schedule and pace like that is remarkable. I bow to him. (In case you haven’t noticed).

The other observation was about his campaign. Unlike most other campaigns, we never once heard about the in-fighting, the leaks, the drama – which is partly what makes following campaigns fun – at least for gossip mongers like myself. The McCain campaign sure made the leaks on Palin being a diva fun in the final stretch. But Cook is right – the Obama campaign was rock solid – frankly that reminds me of the discipline of the Bush campaigns – rock solid, on message, no f’ing around.

I’m optimistic that these two things just reinforce the hello – MANDATE – that the people gave to Obama on Tuesday night.

I don’t know about you but January can’t come fast enough. It’s been a long 8 years.

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Politics