HMW Seeks FTW

Has Kitty-time become a classified, you might be wondering?

Mais non.

Kitty-time just says what’s on her mind…and probably on the minds of most others they just don’t have the nerve to say it.

HMW = Happily Married Wife

FTW = Full-time Wife

You got it. I’m looking for a wife. And not a slacker wife. Or a complainer. A go-getter. I don’t care what you look like, I just want you to be able to anticipate my needs, run all the errands, get all the dry cleaning picked up, finish the laundry, figure out what we’re having for dinner, make sure it’s defrosted, keep tabs on baby food, make sure we have enough whole milk, get the stamps for christmas cards, keep running list of contractors for house, negotiate with them when necessary, be home when needed for arrival of contractors, etc etc. And most importantly – do these things exactly as I would do them – or better – and never drop the ball on anything. Ever. Never fail me. Let me not have to worry about these things. Just get them done. Quietly. And without ever telling me about it.

How does that sound? Like a job you want?

Some of you might be thinking I am hideous and throwing us back 50 years in time.

But really – have you thought it through?
Doesn’t it sound divine?

I am seeking a wife so that I can have more time with my family. So that I can spend the precious little free time I have, with them. Not running around like a fool on the weekends when the baby is napping. Not because I want to become the next female Fortune 500 CEO and am trying to “do it all.”

Hell no.

Just to free up some time, relieve me of some stress, and well – so that I don’t have to do these things.

I’ve concluded that all mom’s need a wife.

A friend suggested we need a life assistant.

Fine.

Call it what you want.

I am looking for a wife….and will pay her with my gratitude.

4 Responses to HMW Seeks FTW
  1. Nininess
    December 14, 2006 | 6:55 pm

    Even those of us who are HMWs who work full-time and don’t have children (Gasp! Are there those of us out there?!?!) could use a FTW…this girl wouldn’t mind an extra hand to pick up dry cleaning, make a decent dinner and go grocery shopping!

  2. Kitty Time
    December 14, 2006 | 7:03 pm

    Mais oui! Touchee…..we all need a FTW!!!

  3. debra
    December 16, 2006 | 5:15 pm

    I second nininess that all of us HMWs out there could use a FTW. Evidence: it’s Sat. morning and I have a list of 15 pre-holiday to-do’s to accomplish this weekend and a work presentation to prepare for Monday. (yes, instead of being here blogging, I should be driving to Target as we speak)

    But, Kitty, as you so astutely point out, any HMW with long-term potential would have to “do these things exactly as I would do them” and, as my helpful husband will attest, I’m the only one who can finish those holiday cards the way they “should” be done! :-)

  4. HMW Seeking 1HS « Kitty Time
    September 23, 2008 | 2:38 pm

    […] Well, as die-hard KT fans know (and there are thousands of you), almost two years ago I blogged about being a Happily Married Wife (HMW) in search of well, a wife: http://kittytime.wordpress.com/2006/12/14/hmw-seeks-ftw/ […]

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