One of the things I didn’t anticipate after delivering my first baby was this – my ongoing battle with the best form of birth control.
Here’s the deal – now that I was suddenly living with the reality of what REALLY happens once you get pregnant and have a baby, suddenly keeping up the gates with an iron fence and preventing another baby so soon became of utmost importance to me.
Hell, even in the heat of the moment, wild dogs and waterboarding torture couldn’t convince me to open the gates and take a gamble…hell no…
But also, having endured what happens to a body with hormonal changes during and after pregnancy, I also knew that I just couldn’t stomach the idea of pumping my body with birth control pills any more. The crazy way those pills mess with my emotions, the horrible migraines I endure from putting that poison into my body. Not worth it.
So what is a gal to do?
On my journey to discover the most ideal form of birth control, I’ve met many of you along the way. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone who isn’t faced with this same dilemma. Our bodies go through so much, why should we have to pump more crap into them, we wonder?
Meanwhile, we’re left thinking that a good old fashioned vasectomy is the ideal option when we are done having kids…afterall, isn’t it our husband’s turns to go through a little something?
So what choices do we have until it’s time for the Big V?
Well…there’s always the pull-out method but see…one dear KT friend traveled this path before me (yes, it’s true, apparently teens aren’t the only ones attempting this method)…..but my dear friend…she ended up with another baby….so I am pretty sure that is not the path I’m going to take just yet.
Then there is the Nuva Ring. The doctor tried to convince me that this is the best alternative and it would not screw with my hormones like a birth control pill. So, I reluctantly took it home and stared at it a while. And thought about it. And wondered if I really wanted to use that? And how does it work? And would I be able to feel it?
So I kept staring at it.
Finally one day, my husband said to me “You’re never going to use that thing.”
So I tossed it.
Yet, my curiosity over whether it is a better alternative continued to haunt me…until last night…when I had a fabulous night out on the town after some work holiday Christmas parties…and after a few glasses of vino, a dear KT friend asked if she could tell me an inappropriate story?
Well..HELLO…have we ever met? I live and DIE for inappropriate stories!!! So please….tell all……
As it turns out, this dear friend is, in fact, an advocate of the Nuva Ring but cautioned that something can happen when using it. She was unwilling to disclose full and intimate details but apparently while…ahem…fornicating……her lover stopped her mid-way and said “I think I have a coc* ring”
Her NuvaRing had apparently been shifted out of position…so to speak.
HILARIOUS…and well…point AGAINST Nuva Ring in my book.
So then there’s always good old fashioned condoms. Yours truly was thinking this was the most innocuous option out there, though hardly ideal or as much fun. Until the day when another dear KT friend wrapped it up in one succinct sentence for me. She was also using condoms until it hit her, she said “Look, I’m not a hooker and my husband’s not a sailor, so forget condoms.”
Once again, HILARIOUS. I have hilarious friends.
So what is a gal to do?