Hoppin’ on the Tiger Train

A true first happened in my house this morning. And no, I’m not talking about my 4-year-old waking up at 3:45am when she realized the power was out and it was dark and remained up for the day, I’m talking about something else entirely.

Nestled into the couch with my warm cup of coffee, I opened the paper and didn’t go straight for the Style section. I didn’t even go for the A section. Nope. Today – I went for the SPORTS section. Like I said, stranger things have probably never happened chez moi.

Doesn’t take a genius to figure out why – like most other women in America, I am completely obsessed with the Tiger story. Following that obsession, I am obsessed with the slime who are the WH party crashers. Anyhoo – until a few days ago, I couldn’t have cared less about baby face Tiger. I don’t care about or even like golf. I really couldn’t care less about professional sports. And whatever products he promotes, I either don’t care about or don’t buy because he said I should.

But now, I am all aboard the Tiger trashing train.

Being a PR person by profession, I am fascinated with how poorly he managed the initial news break and allowed the rumors to fester for days. I’m sure he’s any crisis communications manager’s worst nightmare because I guarantee he wasn’t listening to their counsel for days…his ego too big for their advice.

Being a wife, I am fascinated because well, it’s any wife’s nightmare.

Being a mom, I am fascinated because if he truly did carry on an affair with one of these women for over 30 months, it seems he was cheating through two pregnancies and deliveries. Nightmare.  Not to mention the message he’s just sent his children for them to digest as they get older.

Being a woman, I can’t help but think about these other women that cheated. Why do they disrespect another woman (Tiger’s gorgeous wife) so much, and why are they so self-centered – that they would participate in an affair with a married man. No, scratch that. A married FATHER. Why do women do this to each other?

Being not just a stylish and pretty woman, but also a smart one, I also can’t help but feel disgust towards Tiger – cocktail waitresses. Come the f on Tiger. You couldn’t have cheated at least with someone intelligent and equally as successful – you had to just make it about them being easy and gross and dumb?  Takin a page out of the Bill Clinton playbook, apparently.

So clearly there are lots of reasons why I am obsessed – but let’s get to the heart of the real reason – I look at his unbelievably beautiful wife, who is also incredibly sexy, and has given him two gorgeous children – and I think to myself – jesus – if she can’t be enough for him – what the hell kind of chance do me and my two children later muffin top – have?

Now let’s be real. I’m not an insecure person. And I’m definitely not insecure in my marriage. But still – this kind of story surely secretly rattles all of us.

If Tiger were a politician, we’d expect him to stand behind a podium during a press conference and confess his sins and beg for forgiveness. Though Tiger has a higher profile than most of the cheating scum bag politicians who have stood up there, he is allowed to escape this ordeal – so we don’t have to sit around and wonder if his wife will or will not stand up there next to him. Instead, we are left wondering what she’ll do next. The angry side of us just hopes she kicks him to the curb and takes him for all his billions.

That same angry side of us also secretly hopes she was chasing him with a golf club that night and smashed in a window. Is that a double standard? Oh definitely. He’s not allowed to do that to her, cheating or not, but still – you read moi because I just say the truth. And I never said I was above a good solid double standard.

So these are all the reasons I opened up the sports section today and just might do it again tomorrow. Why are you obsessed?

2 Responses to Hoppin’ on the Tiger Train
  1. Emma
    December 3, 2009 | 4:40 pm

    I find the whole media circus absurd anyway, but also being a PR person by trade, I find the lack of damage control of a sponsor laden athlete unbelievable. His PR people should be fired AND he needs to hire a woman, because wording is key. “Transgressions” – are you f’ing serious? Call it what it was – a lying, cheating affair and you are a scumbag that has to look at his wife everyday for the rest of his life and atone for what he has done. Personally, I think that the Woods family should not have to answer to the world press corps about what does or does not happen in their bedroom. It is a private matter that should stay private. Imagine when his children grow up and google their dad. Instead of the accolades of his athletic ability and racial barriers broken in the world of golf, they will hear voicemails and raunchy texts of their daddy talking dirty and getting caught cheating on their momma. Sad, people, just sad.

  2. annie
    December 11, 2009 | 8:56 pm

    I know someone who does photography for the PGA Golf co. and She said he’s been cheating on her for years and everyone has known about it who works in the PGA, it was actually a running joke around the golf meets.
    just an FYI hes a bastard.

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