DUCK!

That ought to be my MO when feeding DD2. Every day I am surprised with just how different my two children are. It’s remarkable how they can look the same but different. How they can have the same  habit of doing exactly what they know they shouldn’t be doing and look at me and then take off and do it. And it is remarkable how different they are in so many ways. Shall I list them?

No. I think we’ve all had enough of lists.

But if what happened this morning isn’t the ultimate in blog material then I don’t know why I have a blog. Is it a tale that I’ll mention off-hand as she’s on her way out the door with some punk with a daddy complex? Probably.  But is there any way to casually drop “Hey honey, try not to toss your half-chewed sausage down Johnny’s shirt during dinner?”

I didn’t think so.

Let me paint the picture.

I am dragging this morning. I had one of those totally off-why did I bother to drag my ass out of bed in the sleet to get to the gym for this -workouts. The coffee wasn’t hitting the spot. My head was kinda half hurting but not quite enough to get Tylenol. I wanted breakfast but I just wasn’t sure what I wanted.

Until it landed in my bra.

You got it. DD2 is scrappy. She’s thin, she’s always on the go, she never stops climbing but she loves to eat. She’d already eaten more breakfast than our neighborhood football captain but as she was cruising past the breakfast table, she reached up to grab some food off her sister’s plate. I squatted down to intercept her as she moved along, to be sure she wasn’t eating anything she shouldn’t be, when suddenly I felt the lukewarm soggy mess of it on my bare skin.

You got it.

DD2, as she is prone to doing, removed the half-chewed sausage from her mouth and chucked it – only this time her aim was so solid – she managed to toss it right above the zipper on my hoodie and with enough force for it to fall down against my chest and into my bra and fall into little pieces.

I got out of bed why today?

You can’t make this shit up.

So fast foward to the year 2025….DD2 all dolled up in her appropriate fashion forward, I’m stylish but too cool to dress like I was excited for this date outfit…..with apathetic or overly eager teen slobbering boy awaiting her in our foyer (by then I will have a foyer. mark my words)….I’ll be sure to ask where they’re going for dinner and remind her not to toss her chewed sausage at him. I don’t think boys like that.

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